I feel a little bad posting this game, since it’s such a screaming clone of Winterbells, but I love the gameplay and this version has leaderboards we can use. But at least the guy came up with an original theme – bloons and a monkey. Oh, wait…

The Monkey was originally planning on ruining your Christmas cheer by licking all your candy canes and pooping in your stocking, but instead he has chosen to make you suffer through 50 excruciating Christmas-themed Bloons levels.

I chose not to choose life. I chose somethin’ else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you’ve got the monkey?

hhheeeeeeeeeee’ssssss baaaaaaack…

It’s tough for me to decide what I like better, Bejeweled clones, or Poppit clones. It’s kind of like trying to decide between death by fuzzy puppy kisses, or death by Brazilian supermodel kisses. It just depends on my mood.

As if Mondays weren’t bad enough already…

The Monkey is back. He laughs at your suffering.

After seeing today’s game, you may find yourself asking, “How many Bloons games is too many Bloons games?”. However, the sophisticated among us will stick to more important questions like “should I not have eaten that?”, or “say, do you mind if I put that down my pants?”, and my personal favorite, “can I speak to my lawyer now?”

I’ll tell you when the suffering will end. It ends when that monkey is lying face-down in a pool of his own blood.

I told myself I was done with tower defense games, but along came that damn monkey and his balloons again. I swear he must have been a crack dealer in another life.

Here are another 50 levels of Bloons, but this time they are created by the fans. I haven’t gotten that far, but some of these levels seem pretty ridonculous. I don’t know about you, but if I were making a Bloons level it would have 5 balloons, 20 darts, and you’d be able to kill that damn monkey.

Fans of Bloons will probably enjoy this lovely little game. It won’t give you that strange orgasmic balloon-popping feeling, but the music is so relaxing you may find yourself singing Con Te Partiro to your desk lamp, and I’m not going to lie to you, there might even be some tears.

I almost feel like I need to apologize for this post.

Although the medicinal effects of popping balloons have never been scientifically proven, the South African Supahfa-izzle tribe have been using the technique for over a century. Critically ill tribe members are give a large pin and placed in an enclosure filled with giant, colorful balloons. And although the patients still die, at least they die smelling of balloons.