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Everyone’s favorite monkey is back! And no, it’s not the one at the zoo that keeps throwing his feces at kids and touching his swimsuit area.
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After I discovered this Christmas edition of Bloons 2, I admit I had one of my minor “episodes” and had to take a fistful of pills to settle down. But now that I’m all chillaxed I couldn’t care less if they make one for each of the 12 days of Christmas and OH GOD MY HANDS ARE HUGE
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Instead of spending a day on the yacht with my three Brazilian supermodels wives, I decided to stay in and make not only an achievement for this game but also ones for Truck Loader and Nuclearoids. Now you can stop raping my inbox with all those “you’re a lazy good-for-nothing bum” emails. No wait, those are all from my dad.
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Admin: In this zombie tower defense game…
Angry Husky: Wait a second. Zombie and tower defense? How about we add some bloons and Katy Perry dressup to this cliche party? I think I’m gonna accidentally lose bowel control right over your new Pumas. *poops*
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In my dreams the bloons and the monkey are reversed. I am in control of a flying Super Balloon, plowing through waves of airborne monkeys with a hailstorm of darts, showering the forest below in a rain of primate hair, blood and organs.
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I feel a little bad posting this game, since it’s such a screaming clone of Winterbells, but I love the gameplay and this version has leaderboards we can use. But at least the guy came up with an original theme – bloons and a monkey. Oh, wait…
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The Monkey was originally planning on ruining your Christmas cheer by licking all your candy canes and pooping in your stocking, but instead he has chosen to make you suffer through 50 excruciating Christmas-themed Bloons levels.
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I chose not to choose life. I chose somethin’ else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you’ve got the monkey?
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hhheeeeeeeeeee’ssssss baaaaaaack…
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It’s tough for me to decide what I like better, Bejeweled clones, or Poppit clones. It’s kind of like trying to decide between death by fuzzy puppy kisses, or death by Brazilian supermodel kisses. It just depends on my mood.
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As if Mondays weren’t bad enough already…
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The Monkey is back. He laughs at your suffering.
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After seeing today’s game, you may find yourself asking, “How many Bloons games is too many Bloons games?”. However, the sophisticated among us will stick to more important questions like “should I not have eaten that?”, or “say, do you mind if I put that down my pants?”, and my personal favorite, “can I speak to my lawyer now?”
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I’ll tell you when the suffering will end. It ends when that monkey is lying face-down in a pool of his own blood.
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Alternatively, a Google powered search may help you find what you are looking for:
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