Remember when you were less than five feet tall and retarded? That was the third grade, and now you can relive that time by listening to narrated entries from Amy Forstadt’s third grade diary… out of the toilet!

Until 5 minutes ago I never knew what a supercell was. I still don’t really know what one is, but if I ever see one in real life I will empty my bowels so quickly I think it will make a mini-supercell in my pants.

Yellow. Black. Running, gunning. And evil robot alligators. I just don’t know what else to say. I guess they could be evil robot crocodiles. Heck, maybe they’re not even evil. Maybe they’re just misunderstood.

I’m not sure whether it’s the degree to which they got lost, or their Columbus-like drive to find their hotel at all costs, which makes this story special.

Normally I would warn you that the audio for this movie is not safe for work, and that you should wear headphones or turn your speakers down. But in the spirt of tourettes, I think you should play this one loud. If your coworkers get offended just ask them if they hate all people with disabilities, or just those with tourettes.

Local news stations in America aren’t exactly known for professionalism, quality content, or even mastery of vocabulary, but WKYC-TV in Ohio clearly has the worst news program in America. Watch as Carl Monday investigates today’s hard-hitting issues! Watch as Carl Monday refers to masturbating as “having sex”! Stare in disbelief as he harasses uninvolved family members on their front lawn!

An interesting little article that sheds some light on the unmanned Predator drones that are blowing people up in the Middle East. Is it just me, or do the Predators seem a lot like the Hunter-Killers from The Terminator? And is it just me, or am I a total super-nerd?

It’s amazing how 10 minutes ago I had no idea what Hot Dog on a Stick was, but now all I want to do is find one and watch some lemonade being made. I’m going to do it too, as long as I can escape from this gluereed.

A Continental Airlines customer seated directly across from the lavatory, and with an only marginally effective stink-shield, spent much of the flight writing an illustrated complaint to the airline.

Possibly the greatest music video ever created.

Van Halen’s Jump will never be a Moonlight Sonata, but it is a quintessential 80s song. The kind of song that reminds you of all those awesome Transformers toys you had, or of your collection of Popples. Remember Popples? But it’s all ruined, because now the song has a banjo.

If cute were something you could roll up into a big heavy ball and put into a cannon and fire into your face at point blank range, I imagine it would feel a little like watching this video. Kittens, man.

Ball Bounce. Almost as fun as Disneyland, but not quite. Almost as challenging as chess, but not really. Anyone who gets past my best of level 8 wins a free car. It’s got no engine and all the tires are flat and it smells of cabbage and there is grass growing through the floor and you have to come pick it up, but it’s yours. Seriously.

Gary Slossen was in the process of creating another mediocre Flash animation when suddenly, and completely inexplicably, the animation came to life and tried to escape the confines of his monitor! Did Gary manage to destroy the animated horror, or was he devoured alive? Watch and find out.

Jason Clay spent three hours walking around the Giza pyramids and took a picture every 10 steps. He then made a 30 second video with the pictures, so now you don’t have to go to Egypt and get blown up.

I recommend reading the penguin one last. Most of the others are so bizarre and grossly disturbing that you’ll need the cute little penguin story to make you feel like living again. And remind me never to get reincarnated as an Anglerfish. Mercy me…

If you add a roll of Mentos to a bottle of Coca-Cola, you get a very large stream of pop shooting out of the top. If you do it 101 times in a synchronized fashion, you get an impressive recreation of the giant fountain at the Bellagio Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas.

There was a point in my life when I would have killed a man to have a fully transformable Transformer costume. And that point is right now. Holy Awesome!

Amir Massoud Tofangsazan allegedly sold his broken laptop on eBay, neglecting to inform the buyer that it was broken. Unfortunately for him, the buyer found many embarrassing pictures of, and apparently taken by, Amir on the laptop’s still functioning hard drive, and of course he posted them on the internet for everyone to see.

Swarm is a new way to ‘browse’ the web. It is a graphical map of hundreds of websites, all connecting to each other. It updates itself every second with where people are going and coming from. Not surprisingly, ‘coming from’ is usually Google, and ‘going to’ is porn, but some interesting things turn up from time to time.