Texting while driving? Can anyone actually do that? My hands are way too busy flipping people off and putting on eyeliner.

Yeah, I’d say this is pretty accurate.

It actually takes very little to raise a dragon. Just leave it in a room with some canned ravioli, toilet paper, and a television. It will turn out fine – just like me. Now if you’ll excuse me, my Hannah Montana torrent is almost done and I need to get into my polar bear suit before I can watch.

Not so fun when the shoe’s on the other foot, is it jerks?

The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy fairybug runestone thing.

A professional in an astronaut suit is still a professional.

Do you want to know what else the rabbit wants? Your blood.

Wild squirrels, dioramas, nuts, madness!

Boom goes the dynamite.

Bear cubs apparently do not have the fastest reaction times.

Everybody knows the best way to remove red is using cold water and regular soap. Removing it before the item is washed and dried is essential. Just ask Horatio Caine.

Genesis 19: Total insanity.

(NSFW because of swearing)

So this orc walks into a bar with a duck, and he says to the bartender… Actually wait – before I go any further are we sure that’s an orc? Is there a nerd out there who can confirm whether that’s an orc or not?

Initially I was disappointed that the prankee did not going flying even higher, but in retrospect I think anything more powerful would have probably disintegrated his colon. I say this as a medical professional.

NSFW due to the inevitable painful swearing.