The perfect gift for your man. Actually no, the perfect gift for you. Well not really. The perfect gift to give to yourself as a gift for your man. Does that make sense? Look, just take off your clothes.

I think we may have offended some people with the posts making fun of Chinese people. There have been some complaints, so I formally apologize to anyone who was upset. From now on we’ll try to keep things a little more “PC” as they say.

Today’s video makes fun of Jesus and the Bible.

Will the Pusher robot be able to save Grandma from the terrible secret of space? This is bar none the best ICQ conversation that has ever been posted on Something Awful. (It really starts to pick up around page three.)

In the spirit of yesterday’s post making fun of Chinese people, here is another prank call, only this time it’s a lot more clever and The Barenaked Ladies aren’t involved.

If you ride a bicycle then you need these cotton lycra bike shorts. With your legs looking this fantastic you’ll have so many girls crawling over you that they’ll be getting caught in your spokes! Trust me, I know.

Chickety China the Chinese Chicken
You have a drum stick and your brain stops ticking

This is a very unique and addictive puzzle game. It’s all about balance. Unfortunately it doesn’t have any metric for scoring or levels, so I’ll just say I got as far as the big gray head and that as usual I am the best and you all live in my shadow (which is also awesomer than you and gets more chicks).

RoboDump is a robot. And it poops. Forever. A horrible, never-ending bowel movement complete with straining grunts, horrific gas, splashes, and pee sounds.

Two questions regarding this one: 1) Where can I buy one? and 2) How do you nominate someone for the nobel prize?

Is there anything cooler than a dog riding a skateboard? Those videos of Paris Hilton were pretty close, but yeah, this beats those hands down! You can check out the dog’s site too!

Loose Change is an 80 minute documentary exploring some well known conspiracy theories regarding the events of September 11th 2001. At the very least it is quite well done and showcases the ability of the internet to serve as a free distribution mechanism.

Vote for the Worst organizes and encourages people to vote for the worst contestants every week on American Idol. Finally, your chance to strike back at the empire of evil that decided Clay Aiken should be rich and famous and not you.

This news report is one giant pot of comedy gold from beginning to end. And it has also introduced me to my new most favorite expression:

“Could be a crackhead!”

This site shows a series of pictures of one woman taken over a period of 15 years. They are 12 mug shots, taken during a life of addiction on the street.

Don’t do drugs! Eat your greens!

Another ‘kids icon meets west coast gangsta rap’ video. Really, you can never get enough of these.

“Life ain’t nothin’ but bitches and money” – Elmo

There is no point to what is at the other end of this link, but I bet you $100 that you’ll spend at least 30 seconds playing with it. I’m serious. If you can honestly say you don’t play with this wiggily little guy for at least 30 seconds, send me your address and I’ll send you $100. Also send me your girlfriends address. And a pack of smokes.

Here’s another puzzle game we can use to see which of us is the smartest. I got to level 8, so until I hear someone do better I am officially the smartest person on the internet. And as soon as someone posts that they have gotten to a higher level then they will officially be a liar and I will officially still be the smartest person on the internet.

FindSounds allows you to search for audio files based on keywords. It seems to work well, though I am basing that entirely on my one search for ‘fart’. The results definitely left me satisfied!

Can you tell the hard-core programmers from the hard-core murderers? I sure can’t, and will probably wind up dead by morning.

Name: The Dude
Sex: Male (neutered)
Hometown: Boston
Seeking: A hot bitch for long walks and excessive humping.

Do you know an introvert? Perhaps you are curious as to how you should be caring for him/her beyond making sure their litterbox is clean, their water is fresh and that they have plenty of kibble.
Now I’m off to sleep with models since I am most certainly not an introvert… *soft crying*