You’re going to want to turn your speaks down for this one… unless you’re awesome!

Coincidentally, the very first game I ever put up on DYOG was a little flower puzzler called Bloomin’ Gardens. That was back in 2005, and looking at these two games you can really see how far Flash games have progressed over the past 6 years. They… uh… who am I kidding they look exactly the same.

If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to be attacked and dragged off by a wild dog, it is apparently terrifying and also hilarious.

Based on the amount of primal joy humans feel when smashing stacks of blocks, I fully expect my offspring to be playing Blosics 59 on some sort of holographic RFID controlled computablet in the foreseeable future.

It’s like a real life Pokemon.

I was hoping this game would be more like the SMMAJFC* contest I held last year, but I guess it’s not bad.

*Supermodel Mixed Martial Arts Jello Fighting Championship

While not as dangerous as their Hoth-based cousins, Wampa Pugs have been known to kill with cuteness.

Word of advice kids: don’t go running after waterfalls. In my opinion it’s best to stick to things you’re used to, like rivers, lakes, etc. I know you’re used to having things your way or nothing at all, but I think in this case you’re just moving way too fast.

First the dogs, now the cats. The end of humanity is nigh.

Speaking of hats and limb removal, if you ever heard an internet rumor about me wearing a hat made of Pygmy arms to an Oscar party I want you to know that is total nonsense. I believe the arms were from members of a Zulu tribe… or perhaps Bantu, but definitely not Pygmy.

He’s like an upside down pee cannon.

If one day I stop making millions off of this website my plan-B is to move to Italy, breed truffle pigs, and open a little roadside stand called Truffle Madness. Because everybody loves truffles, right?

I didn’t understand the Japanese until now… Kill all the whales!

Sometimes I have trouble staying focused, but if you knew how much stuff I have to take care of on a daily basis you’d understand. As well as managing this website, plucking these crazy long hairs out of my ears is practically a full time job.