I’ve always had trouble with the word “shuriken”. I just want to say “shrunken”, and trying to say it the right way makes my lips pucker up like I’m kissing a wet piece of liver and the sound that comes out is more like chronic stuttering than it is human speech. So I just call them throwing stars.

The Joes were not as cool as you remembered. Destro and Baroness on the other hand…

Not since Nintendo’s 1983 hit Elevator Action have I seen so much exciting elevator action in a game. And bleeding ghosts.

Little Johnny went on to lead the Iowa City Gay Men’s Chorus.

You know you’ve found a great game when it triggers a migraine.

Note to self: That is one crazy, crazy bitch.

I’ve been trying to figure out why this game is called Hexcelle. My best guess so far is that it was created by Sir Hextor Cellesis and that he named the game after his only son, who is also named Hextor. This is all speculation of course.

Extra! Extra! Bleeding billboard causes record highway fatalities!

Now now everybody – let’s not get bogged down in semantics. Oh wait, that’s exactly what we’re going to do.

Patrick Stewart’s seen everything.

What kinds of things would you put in a super briefcase do you think? Not just boring old papers. I imagine it would be filled with gold bullion, East German pickles, futuristic weapons, and one of those Swiss Army Knives that has like a HUNDRED things in it.

Yoga, a giant rooster and child molestation make the perfect combination.

I don’t know what that giant pink thing with the boogers is, but I may have pooped it out yesterday morning. If it was me, I apologize.

(Mild) Animal (cat) cruelty is hilarious.

The only thing worse than a bug is a giant bug, and the only thing worse than a giant bug is a giant bug that comes out of giant egg sack.

He should have invested in some gloves… and an extra face.

One day they won’t be called vending machines anymore. They will be called REPLICATORS, and cruiseships will be called starships and everyone will wear tights. Everyday will be a new and exciting adventure, except for days in the holodeck. Those will be kind of boring.

There’s still time to buy your ticket to the 10th Annual Gathering of the Juggalos. Afterwards, I’ll meet you in the Fresh Ass Comedy Tent. Dy-no-mite!

By just reading the title you might assume this game is about poops – but don’t worry, that would be gross. It’s actually about a water logged corpse.

Before he married his step-granddaughter, Morgan Freeman played Count Dracula on The Electric Company.