Ha! Balloon armies! Have you ever heard of anything so silly? What next, clown armies? Wait, clown armies would be terrifying.

It’s common knowledge that Pandas love bamboo, but did you know that they also love denim jackets and jeans? They’re a lot like Wheels that way.

Have you ever fantasized about being the pilot of your very own giant Mech? Well now that perverse fantasy is only a click away! Although if the Mech in your fantasies had the ability to move, you might be a little disappointed.

This is from a few years back, and oh so hilarious. A helpful neighbor is trying to return a lost “cat” to its owner.

I was recently shocked to discover that many academic establishments find this website to be Tasteless and Offensive. Well I don’t take things lying down over here, so in an effort to correct this situation, every game from here on out will be educational in nature. Today’s game helps you learn about physics. Tomorrow’s game will help you learn about tossing midgets.

There’s apparently a theme park for every occasion. Have an unhealthy fecal obsession? Want to (not) get raped by a guy dressed as Mario in his basement? Want to visit a fake ocean directly beside a real one? These parks and many more await you. (Warning: Some parks awaiting you are not work safe.)

They may look like cute little stuffed animals, but when I think of Pickies all I can see is a jar full of scabs with with the label pIckIeZ scotch taped to it. Don’t ask. You don’t want to know.

Would you rather:
a) napinate on the pee pad
b) chewinate da sofar

Woo-hoo, 16 mini-games all rolled into one. Does this mean I can take the next 16 days off?

This action thriller stars Jon Voight and Eric Roberts as two escaped skateboarding convicts trapped in a drainage tube, with no brakes and nobody driving.

In the future, mankind will travel the vast interstellar void of space in square ships that can only travel in four directions. It will make about as much sense as Dune.

It seems every year brings a more advanced Elmo toy. The question is, will this be the year that the Elmos rise up and kill?

The members of this family want but two things - to cross the river, and to beat each other into unconsciousness. One task is significantly easier than the other as you will soon find out.

A future stoner if I’ve ever seen one.

You see? You should have actually paid attention in math class instead of just passing notes and snapping girl’s bras. Now aliens are going to destroy the world and it’s pretty much all your fault.

These eyelid stickers will allow you to get that much needed shuteye in the workplace, without arousing the suspicion of your less intelligent coworkers.

Yeeehaw! It’s time to dust off that cowboy hat and put on your sexiest pair of assless chaps. Thanks to this game, you can now live out your embarrassing wild-west gunslinger fantasy from the safety of your own home. And who knows, if you keep practicing maybe one day you’ll be as good as this guy.

This seems like a good example of why companies should reconsider outsourcing their call centers to magical foreign lands.

Today in the US, it is Presidents Day. A day we celebrate in honor of George Washington, the first President of the United States of America. To pay him our respect, we sleep a lot, don’t do any work, and refuse to bathe or wear pants.

Quick! Escape the kitchen before it’s too late! Lord knows you wouldn’t want to accidentally make yourself a delicious sandwich.