Twenty-five levels of electricimicating puzzles await you, and as an added bonus upon completion you will be rewarded with your wildest fantasy come true. Assuming of course that your wildest fantasy involves finishing an online puzzle game. Trust me – sometimes it’s good to set that bar low.

What R2-D2 was really saying during Episode I.

Protect the delicious mushrooms from the squeaky dog toys and the animatronic bears. Because if you don’t… there’s gonna… uh.. *crickets chirping*

Raymond’s seemingly crack-addled exterior belies his incredible Wheel of Fortune acumen.

I have always dreamed of a match three game that would let me do matches while the board is still rearranging. And now that such a game is finally here, it is every bit the orgy of color, particles, and extravagance that I imagined it would be.

Sadly, Steve never did make it through flight school.

aNY commNT leFT withoUT tHE proPR uSE OF MagnetiZR capitalizatiON wiLL BE promptLY deleTD. yOU haVE beEN warND!

(BonUS poinTS fOR leaviNG oUT soME E’s).

Those crazy cat women are always outdoing themselves.

I like these games where you click on units at the bottom of the screen and then after a little countdown they just pop out of a magical metal birth canal. I wish I had one of those in my apartment, but instead of army units it would make Nutella sandwiches, puppies, and Swedish massage therapists.

I too subscribe to Playboy and The New Yorker.

Dear Notebook, today at school we learned how 2 make a lvl 10 lighting bolt spell. Boooooooooring. But Notebook, Stephen Watson actually came up and talked to me!!!!!!!! To me Notebook!! But then that stupid B-I-T-C-you-know-what Melony came up and started flirting with him right in front of me! I HATE HER SO MUCH NOTEBOOK!!!!!!

Trampolines are both fun and delicious.

Whenever I find myself in a room with a dead hooker *cough* I mean girl, I follow these three simple steps my dad taught me: “Stop, Drop, and Roll”. That stands for: stop what you were doing, drop everything, and roll on outta there.

My favorite episode was the one where the Andy Dick hologram acted all scared and fruity.

It’s like a tower defense game, but it’s not a tower defense game. But it’s tower defense. I can’t explain! It’s madness!

Russia: Synonymous with explosions.

YESSSSSssssss…

It is I, the magical monk fish, here to grant you three wishes!

My apartment. The final frontier. These are the voyages of my only partially clothed body. It’s continuing mission: to seek out tivo remote batteries and mold-free leftovers – to boldly waste life like no one has done before!

Cats and baths don’t mix… except when they do.