Speaking of hidden objects, has anybody seen a pair of mens velcro jeggings? I have to be on stage by 8pm.

You’re probably tired of SOPA stuff by now, but I’m also probably not going to get another excuse to post this.

Instead of a game today, I have to tell you about something very important. SOPA and PIPA are two bills in the U.S. Congress and Senate which could potentially destroy the Internet as we know it. Please read this infographic, watch this video, read this newsletter, get mad and then email and phone your representatives. You can make a difference and save the Internet! (Not in the U.S? Sign this petition.)

I’ve just realized there might be a slight connection between my newly developed Picklephobia, and my recent participation in a LARP event called Escape From A Gimp Dungeon.

Spider Pig Man
Spider Pig Man
Does whatever a Spider Pig Man does

In honor of MLK day, here is a game about solving the MLK assassination. All you have to do is imagine Martin Luther King as a super old purple female that was murdered by a monster mouse for reasons having nothing to do with the actual MLK assassination.

I know that a math game seems like a cruel and unusual punishment, but that’s only because you deserve to be punished in a cruel and unusual manner for not loving me enough. And before you ask: no amount of love is enough.

I’m going to write a book called 1000 Places to Avoid Or You’ll Die.

Let’s be straight for a second kids – this might be a fun game, but in reality Herpes is no laughing matter. If you want to joke around about STDs, pick one with a funnier name, like Gonorrhea. It sounds like a Japanese monster! LOL!

Look out George Lucas.

I’ve just about given up writing letters to the London Philharmonic requesting an audition as a soprano armpit-hand-farter. I understand they can’t accept every possible type of instrument, but is it really any more ridiculous than a tuba?

God’s hump, his hump, his hump, his lovely lady lumps.

This game is just a reminder of all the hours I spent playing air hockey in a local arcade instead of attending classes. I have no regrets, as I am accomplished in my own way – I’m only 73 days away from beating the world record for the longest time with a tick attached to the body. Just one example.

This would have probably helped prevent that deadly ice fishing hut blaze I caused back in ’09.