We have two options open to you:
1) Apply through official channels.
2) Have some guy hollow out a car dash board, stuff you in there, and attempt to drive you across one of our many border crossings.

For any non-Americans who are wondering what exactly Memorial Day is, it is a day that we take off work to celebrate… memorialness. And sleeping in. And not updating websites. And memorial-ity…ish…ness.

Shockabsorber is a British sports bra, and the Bounce-ometer displays computer generated representations of its effectiveness, based on selected bra sizes and activity levels. It also displays the effectiveness of a regular bra, and no bra at all. Add that all up and you’ve got giant jiggling naked boobies! Don’t view this at work.

I think it’s about time to repost the good old Fainting Goats. Also known as myotonic goats, wooden-leg goats, stiff-leg goats, nervous goats, etc, these animals are a Creationist’s best friend. How else can you explain an animal that ‘evolved’ to faint whenever it gets a little scared? Natual selection my ass!

I can only assume that sometime within the next couple of weeks the lawyers at Philips Norelco (who have obviously been out of town for a while) are going to come back to work, check out the new online ad campaign for the Philips Bodygroom, laugh, cry, fire every employee in the company, and finally take down this crazy ad. So watch it while you can.

Remember Clarence? Well he’s back and he is trying to get to the root of what makes compelling television in this segment from the season finale of Wonder Showzen. Behold the hilarity of Magnetic Attraction guy, and Riker’s Island man!

Here is a game for when you are bored at work that simulates you being bored at work. Ingenious? Ingenious.

I’ve gotten 10 in a row so far. I must be pants!

In these aerial photographs taken by Jason Hawkes, everyone looks like ants… Ants waiting to be crushed by my indomitable spirit!

Michael Paulus has rendered the skeletal systems of some popular cartoon characters as he imagines “they might resemble if one truly had eye sockets half the size of its head, or fingerless-hands, or feet comprising 60% of its body mass.”

Before you click the link, leave a guess of whose skeleton that is in the comments!

I just don’t know where to begin with this one. All I can say is that as soon as I heard the lyrics “on the day of rockening” I had a new favorite band.

The industry sponsored Competitive Enterprise Institute seeks to set the record straight on carbon dioxide (CO2) in this television spot that is airing in 14 US cities. Apparently our energy intensive ways are not possibly raising the planet’s temperature, thereby dooming millions, and are instead creating more life! And who could be against more life? Abortionists!

A rented house in Ogden, UT was discovered to have accumulated some 70,000 empty Coors Light cans in eight years of tenancy — the cans covered the furniture and blocked the entrance.

Seriously? Coors Light?

“What the hell is an aluminum falcon?”

Nice to know that Motorola doesn’t occupy the top 9 spots on this list. Oh wait, they do! But don’t worry, I’m sure all this radiation information doesn’t really mean anything. Except that you’ve got a deadly cancer phone.