Pretentious Game 2 is even more pretentious then Pretentious Game 1. It will constantly correct your pronunciation of the word ‘encyclopedia’ and quote Dante’s Inferno loudly in coffee shops. Pretentious Game 2 is pretty much the Ted Mosby of Flash games.

Possibly to kill it.

Ah rock bottom, my old friend. One cannot truly say they’ve hit rock bottom until they taste the cold stones of its sandy shores. A taste not unlike… *licking noises*… failure. Damp, mossy, failure.

Disco must be the most talkative budgie in the world.

Making this monkey happy is pretty hard, but not as hard as making my Aunt Nettie happy. I went through two battery packs on my sander before her foot bunions were flattened down to acceptable levels.

Makes you wonder what would happen if they put a Thudershirt on this kitten.

Save a bunch of ungrateful kids and grannies who probably won’t put out even though you saved their lives in this highly polished HTML5 game (for desktop only).

This video probably isn’t safe for work, and you’ll have to watch to find out why.

From the creators of my pants, comes an epic journey through time, space, and dark alleys filled with monsters but not rapist monsters, and still lots of shooting and oohs and aahs, and possibly a monkey.

Unfortunately my snoring dog sounds like a wheezy old woman.

Fear less… easy for you to say. I watched all of the Paranormal Activity movies over the weekend and my phobia list now includes fear of videocameras (demon tractor beams, obviously), fear of wind (ghosts, obviously), and fear of socks (eyeless tube monsters, obviously).

I need to go outside more.

Did I post this game because I thought it was good, or because I’ll jump on any excuse to post a link to the Michael Bolton Pirates of the Caribbean song? I’ll never tell! *hee hee*

The sound of teenage girls thinking their idol was crushed by a piano is humorous to me.