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Graveyard Maniacs
categories: Games

I was in a band called Graveyard Maniacs a long time ago. Not so much of a band since we didn’t have any instruments, more of a group. Not so much of a group, more just me. And I wasn’t really a maniac, more of an exhibitionist that exposed genitals on funerals.

Five Fights At Freddy’s
categories: Games

Let the creepy pre-Halloween week begin! Speaking of such things, is it creepy when a guy asks a girl can she sell him her worn sport socks? I think it’s fine.
It’s me, I’m the guy.

The Littlegrey Network Forums Weekly Thread Pick:
Medieval Shorts 2
categories: Games, HTML5

I gotta say, my medieval short shorts are lady killers when I wear them in the summer. Literally, I gave some old lady a heart attack this past July when I got on the bus wearing those.

Stacko Level Pack
categories: Games

These level pack versions of games are like my weekly fridge cleanups: I collect all my takeout leftovers, put them in a giant baking dish, cover it in discounted Costco cheese and call it Italian-Chinese-Indian-Greek fusion casserole.

String Theory
categories: Games, HTML5

I know what you think: Admin is such a brilliant man, he must know everything there is to know about the string theory and related phenomena. I have to disappoint you once again, and say that only string theory I am familiar with is the one that says if you eat a lot of spaghetti your poop will soon look like something a dung beetle is rolling around.

Sons of Guns
categories: Games

Believe it or not, I just woke up after my wild night out on Saturday. Due to the fact I haven’t been out since 2001, I will assume now it’s normal someone slips you a roofie and you wake up 3 days later in a strange apartment with sore behind and bunch of shirtless dudes speaking Hungarian.

Prince Charmless
categories: Games, HTML5

I don’t know about you, but as far as online games go I’m drawing the line at popping some dude’s zits. Like I don’t have enough of my own.

The Splitting Chapter 2
categories: Games

Every time I split up with a girl I do it in two chapters. Chapter 1: cool, calm and collected break up among two adults. No resentment, staying friends on social media. Chapter 2: standing on her lawn wearing a shirt with her face on it, crying in the rain while James Blunt plays on a boombox. Later unfriending her on facebook, tweeting about how she doesn’t wash her privates and consequentially has cooties.

On Fire
categories: Games

As I was dancing in a club this weekend, a reasonably attractive girl told me I was on fire. Naturally, I presented her with my genitals right away like I saw in a documentary. Apparently it works only if you’re a baboon. Also, I was literally on fire and suffered third degree burns.

Make Me Laugh!
categories: Games

I’ll be honest with you- I don’t remember the last time I laughed. Probably when I went to the bank and they told me my account balance is $17. But that was more of a hysterical type of laugh, followed by gentle sobbing while being escorted out by a security.

Escape From The Planet Of The Dravids
categories: Games

How was your weekend, weirdos? I spent mine sorting my beer cap collection and crying over Brangelina divorce. I mean, if the most beautiful person in the world and a manipulating psycho can’t make it- what chances do the rest of us have?

Cat in Japan
categories: Games

I’m sorry for the short hiatus, I was busy learning how to breastfeed my new baby snapping turtle. If someone tells you that a snapping turtle is not a mammal, just tell them NOT WITH THAT ATTITUDE.

Amigo Pancho The Death Star
categories: Games

This game combines three things I love the most: amigos, glorious mustaches, and Star Wars. Since I don’t have any amigos, and my facial hair is a punchline of many family jokes, I will just lie on the beanbag and watch Star Wars.

Banana Bonanza
categories: Games

If you don’t know what Bonanza is, you better Bing search it, or watch a clip on that tube site, or listen to a soundtrack on Napster- or whatever you youngsters do today on your Motorolas.