Ghosts aren’t as scary in the light, which is why I have all my rooms bathed in 15-million candlepower spotlights. Incidentally, that’s probably why I can’t see colours anymore.

What would you do if you owned a real life UFO? Take a trip to the moon? Abduct some cows? Right at this moment, I personally would take it to Dairy Queen. Peanut Buster Parfaits and chicks - need I say more?

If you want to try surfing, but are afraid of the rampant localism, and anything to do with the ocean, then this surf cam video is for you.

The United States may be the land of the free, but I ask you - can a man truly be free if he’s wearing pants? A pair of bulky, billowing demin tubes? No! So before you head out tonight, celebrate your freedom properly and whip those suckers off. FREEEEEEDOOOOOOOOOOMMmmmmmmmm…*cough*…mmuh!

I’ll be honest, I don’t really like this latest version of 10 Gnomes as much as I did the previous one (10 Gnomes Part V: The Naked Body of Megan Fox). But it’s still way better than 10 Gnomes Part II: Inside the Trousers of Al Roker. Some things were just never meant to be seen with human eyes.

Bill Gates was not looking forward to meeting the Judge that morning.

If you should ever encounter a ninja in the wild, don’t run - just pick him up gently with both hands. When he says hello, give him a little kiss on the forehead, then wrap him in your shirt and shove him down the back of your pants. And there you go! You’ve made a new friend.

Six-year-old Indian boy, Aniket Chindak, holds the unofficial world record for limbo-skating and can skate along at no more than eight inches above the ground.

In the spirit of working as little as possible, I’ve decided to start celebrating Canadian holidays. And in honour (<-- check that spelling!) of Canada Day I really wanted to post a game about poutine, but surprisingly I couldn't find one. So instead I've settled for a game about a beaver. It may not be great, but what can you do? Oh I know... BLAME CANADA.

Don’t step in to the ring with this feisty feline. He’s got the eye of the tiger.

Although my motocross racing days are behind me (thanks to a massive groin injury), I can still enjoy this… hmmm? Oh, no, the groin injury wasn’t caused by racing. How? Well, I really can’t get into it here… but let’s just say it involved Petra Nemcova, 20 gallons of grape jello, and a full grown whippet.

When Dimitri the Lover left Olga two messages on her answering machine, she clearly didn’t know what she was missing by not calling him back.

I know I said I was done with tower defense games, but I swear this isn’t one. I have play tested it thoroughly, and I can guarantee that there is not a single tower in the game, nor do you do any sort of defending. It’s actually more of a OH THE WEB OF LIES PLEASE FOGIVE ME

For those of you playing along at home, you’ll want to remember not to slow down and stop as you travel over the railroad crossing.

hhheeeeeeeeeee’ssssss baaaaaaack…

I’ll bet you didn’t know that this is where cats come from.

Yeah, I know it’s old, buy hey - so is your mom!

Frank Sinatra, eat your heart out.

Missile Command + magnetic fields + eye of newt + 2 tbsp salt = M.I.R.C!

Why is it that the dominant instinct people have when they get on a motorcycle for the first time, is to gun the throttle and run into something?