There’s nothing I like more on a Friday night than kicking back with a good flash game, a buttery Chardonnay, and a brick of aged Swiss. What about you?

This cat loves baths more than I do. Maybe we should bathe together, or would that be wrong?

Way back in 1972, a company called Atari released what many people believe was the first ever video game. And today, 36 years of human and technological advancement has finally brought us the sequel.

This YouTube video of the new Wario Land game is really clever. I didn’t even realize what was happening at first.

I always face a bit of a moral quandary when I post a game involving drugs. In the end I usually dedide that it’s not my place to try and tell you whether or not I think drugs are bad. That’s something you have to decide on your own. By taking mountains of drugs. And seeing if they make you feel awesome or not.

This must have been what the parties I didn’t get invited to in highschool were like.

This is Loops of Zen, sequel to the lesser known but equally enjoyable game, Poops of Zen. Played by me. This morning. On the toilet.

Some people must have been born without the ability to realize when an idea is truly dumb.

While you’re wasting your time building little machines that make the pink thing go into the other pink thing, I will be using the the tools in this game to construct the ultimate virtual girlfriend. She’ll have the most beautiful eyes and be my intellectual equal in every way. Plus branches for arms and wheels for legs.

Having a muppet for a roommate is not all it’s cracked up to be. Have you ever seen them eat?

Best. Screenshot. Evaaaaaaaar, folks.

That’s it, the moonwalk and synthesizers have convinced me. Bring on the baptismal waters!

Sure, it starts off innocent enough. Turn left, turn right, move forward. Flip on the light. Then next thing you know SkyNet goes online and there’s a nuclear storm raging across the planet, searing the flesh from our bones and reducing Mother Nature to ash. But go ahead, play your little game.

Despite their inclusion in the Axis of Evil, North Korea never really did do much to terrify the world. Maybe this is why.