Not since R.S.V.P - The Racial Segregation Party have I been so disgusted with a game. How many years has it taken us to overcome our prejudices? And then a little game like this comes along and tries to teach us that it does matter whether you’re black or white. Well shame on you game developers. SHAME ON YOU!

Someday I hope someone pumps 10 tons of cement into my house to see how I live.

Life is unfair. The sooner you kids learn this, the better off you’ll be. When you get older you can expect everyday life to be exactly like this game. Well, you don’t die as much - unless you count dying on the inside.

Jump from skull to skull to make your way down the river. You know, just how you’d make your way down a river in real life.

If you’ve ever fake tied your shoes because you were worried that the woman in front of you thought you were following her, then this short film’s for you! (I know I’ve done it more than once.)

If I had any friends you can be sure that I would invite them over for a light switch rave! Afterwards I would probably be back to having no friends. Ah the circle of life.

Did you get an Amazon gift certificate for Christmas? Not sure what to use it for? Now your very own facial deformities and terrorist weapons are only a one-click purchase away.

I know it’s hard to remember the dialogue from your favorite Saturday morning cartoons, but all those cartoon characters of your youth were actually card carrying Republicans fighting the evils of liberalism.

The funniest thing ever to be associated with Jimmy Kimmel (excluding Sarah Silverman) is the Nervous Kid.

What is Dick Cheney doing in there? What is he planning? Is he going to “accidentally” mistake George Bush for some quail?

Tim, like King Midas from Greek mythology, has an amazing power that is both a gift and a curse. I bet he’s tired of eating Skittles.