Tired of boring, predictable games? Has the same-old-same-old got you down? Well rejoice, for the next Dig Your Own Grave exclusive has arrived! I am so here for you fruitcakes. I am your pusher. I am your fat sweaty sugar daddy. I am the cushion for your pushin. I… might have crossed the line with that last one.

This one is just like Bejeweled - except instead of sparkling gems, you have smelly fish. Also, when you lose you suffocate and die on the bottom of the ocean. And although they don’t show it, I’m pretty sure those same smelly fish start eating your body (sort of like this). But otherwise it’s exactly like Bejeweled.

Well here’s your last game for 2007. And there have been so many games! So which one was your favorite? Vector Runner? How about besides Vector Runner? Oh, the Huge Manatee? Oh gosh, you guys flatter me.

Just look at all those sad faces. Thankfully it’s not an Elliott Smith concert, it’s just the new hit game Blocky! Now it’s up to your to free all those frowns or who knows what they’ll do. Thank goodness they don’t have arms…

That’s right folks. It’s time for another Dig Your Own Grave exclusive game. I know! It’s totally crazy. We’re pooping these things out like we just ate them for breakfast. This game features some old-skool 3D vector graphics, and a pace so fast that we can actually 100% guarantee you’ll have a stroke. Enjoy!

Who do you think this little rascal is chasing down in his dream? I bet it’s a dandelion field full of fluffy bunnies. But I’ll tell you why he should really be running… because I’m after him, and when I catch him I’m going to zurbert that pink little belly of his. It’s all part of my tough love program.

Mr. Lickers usually wasn’t allowed to give his owner slobbery wet kisses, but for some reason this time his owner didn’t seem to mind. This made Mr. Lickers very happy.

Today I am pleased to announce the launch of our very first Dig Your Own Grave exclusive game. And let me tell you, I couldn’t be more excited. The game features some of my most favorite things in the world, including guns, giant explosions, advanced force-field technology, and of course, shooting endangered manatees.

It’s time to revist the epic saga of Raindrop vs. Mike Glambin: the Worst Rap Battle Ever. Will Raindrop’s stylin’ flows be able to withstand the cutting rhymes of Mike “I don’t know what to say” Glambin? Watch and find out.

Life is full of nasty surprises. Nobody wants a lizard to jump on them. Nobody. But if a lizard does jump on you, you need to know how to handle the situation properly and in a way that will impress the ladies. This guy can show you how its done.

If right now you have the option of trying this game or instead heading to the bathroom and smoking a giant brick of crack cocaine, I would highly recommend that sweet, sweet crack cocaine. It’s scientifically proven to be less addictive, and who needs teeth anyways?

We haven’t done a puzzle game for a while have we? I’m pretty sure we haven’t. This game was originally created ten thousand years ago circa 21 A.D. by ancient Mesopotamian goat farmers as a way to pass the time between their morning chores and Viking attacks. Aaaaaaaand… I just made that up.

It’s just like Risk, only faster and funner. And you don’t have to talk to people. And I can’t stop playing it. Every time another side takes over one of my areas my rage is so great I want to rip their dice right out of the computer monitor and devour them. And every time my dice win I want to hug them and squeeze them until they explode! Such joy!

Most of you are probably familiar with the 5 stages a giraffe goes through when he gets stuck in quicksand, but if you aren’t then here they are. Tomorrow’s lesson: the five stages of nerdly-arousal I go through when I watch Battlestar Galactica.

If, like me, you were having trouble deciding whether your next videogame purchase should be Kingdom Hearts II or Resident Evil 4, this little video narrated by mc chris should clear up the decision for you.

Does it make me a bad person if I laugh out loud every time I watch this? No? Okay, good. So what about if it turns me on? Not that it does or anything, but that’s no big deal right?

If there’s one thing people love, it’s money. Woah, that’s not what I meant to say. I meant porn. Ah! No, no, no… What I really meant was people love stories about animals making friends with other kinds of animals and lots of cute pictures of them hanging out together. And why? Honestly I’m not really sure. But here you go anyway.

A little earlier tonight I found this odd little game, played it, and decided it stunk. It’s been about 3 hours now and for some reason I still haven’t stopped playing it. I’m getting really hungry, I’m pretty sure I’ve wet myself at least twice, and I think the kitchen’s on fire. But I’m up to 360 points! 360. Believe it.