I’ve been staring at the screen for 10 minutes now, and I can’t think of a single innuendo about balls. What’s happening to me? Maybe I need a vacation.

Do you like the brain puzzles? Are you obsessive compulsive? Do you need to do anything today other than sit in front of the computer until your butt goes numb? If you answered yes to all of these questions, do NOT click the link.

Merry Christmas Fruitcakes!

PS: If you don’t celebrate Christmas, have a happy Tuesday anyways. Oh yeah, and the baby Jesus hates you.

Look, I don’t want to scare any of you out there, but zombies are coming to eat your brains, and soon. Like tomorrow. Probably around 3pm. We’re planning on grabbing some Taco Bell first, so we may be a little late. Excuse me, they might be a little late. Heh.

The directions for this game are a bit complicated, so read carefully: CLUB SMASH, CLUB SMASH HEAD. SMASH GOOD. Spacebar will pause the game, and SMASH GOOD, OG LOVE SMASH.

Phew! Check this game out. I haven’t seen that many polar bears since the Furry Convention back in Schaumburg last year. Not that I was there or anything. I just heard about it from some friends who were there. Friends who aren’t Furries. Friends of friends, actually. I’m completely hairless truth be told.

I decided that for this year’s Thanksgiving post I would do a Google search for “shoot turkeys and or pilgrims game” and take the first relevant result I could find. And this is it. And it’s also the last time I’m ever going to do that.

If I were a brilliant electrical engineer, I… wait a minute, let me start over… Being one of the world’s most brilliant electrical engineers, I find it silly that people like building robots for fighting. Robots should be created for much more noble purposes, like medical procedures or washing my car.

In honor o’ this most excellent seafarin’ hearty game, all comments must be port in official seafarin’ hearty speak. Ya lily livered scurvy dog!

After seeing today’s game, you may find yourself asking, “How many Bloons games is too many Bloons games?”. However, the sophisticated among us will stick to more important questions like “should I not have eaten that?”, or “say, do you mind if I put that down my pants?”, and my personal favorite, “can I speak to my lawyer now?”

I like things with simple self-explanatory titles. Strategy Defense. It just says it all. Strategy, and defense. It’s like my name. Handsome Webmaster. Handsome Wicked-Smart Webmaster, if you count my middle name.

I told myself I was done with tower defense games, but along came that damn monkey and his balloons again. I swear he must have been a crack dealer in another life.

This game has it all – tanks, force fields, and plenty of explosions. The only thing missing is possibly some sort of starship, maybe a cheerleader or two, and I usually like to have at least one fluffy bunny or maybe a puppy. Now that would be a really great game.

If you’ve ever wondered how a computer virus attacks a network, this game is actually a 100% accurate simulation of how it is done. Although in real life the ice cannons are not quite as poweful, and the flamethrower has a slightly wider attack angle but with less range.

Okay, everyone all together now:

NNNNNNNNNNnnn… BRAINNNNNNNnnns…

It is a time of great magic and chivalry. You are an über D&D nerd, sitting behind a… oh wait, I mean you are a brave knight, defending your kingdom from the onslaught of the enemy hordes. Your skills with myspace pages are… oh damn, I mean your skills with the bow-and-arrow are legendary. Go forth and defend your kingdom, brave knight!

Boomshine is another great suggestion from our Forums. Turn up the soothing music, click the circles, and watch them s-plode. And remember, you can never actually lose in this game, you can only quit. You’re not a quitter are you?

I don’t think we do enough educational stuff on this site. Sure we have some fun, but in what way do you exercise your mental muscle by visiting Dig Your Own Grave? WELL THAT ALL CHANGES TODAY. It’s time to figure out some wordz and your gonna need to do sum spellinz and if you don’t you’re going to die a horrible, horrible, horrible death.

Like me, have you always felt that Green Arrow was the lamest member of the Justice League? I know he had that hot green suit and the awesome pointy goatee, but the bow-and-arrow seemed like such a silly weapon compared to Superman’s heat vision. Well boy were we wrong! The bow-and-arrow is the best weapon ever!

We haven’t done a puzzle game for a while have we? I’m pretty sure we haven’t. This game was originally created ten thousand years ago circa 21 A.D. by ancient Mesopotamian goat farmers as a way to pass the time between their morning chores and Viking attacks. Aaaaaaaand… I just made that up.

It’s not as pretty as Storm the House, but it’s a little easier to play. And you get to blast helicopters. Would it cause you discomfort to know that the helicopters are piloted by puppies and kittens? It’s true. And they’re awfully cute. In fact I think they’re wearing bow-ties! Adorable!

This is one of those games that the more I play, the worse I get. And that makes me want to play it more, which makes me suck at it even harder. It’s a vicious cycle, and it will end with me naked, crying, and possibly in the wrong apartment. 66.13 was my best, but that was many games ago…