Sit back, relax, and enjoy the soothing stylings of Music Catch. Enjoy it for hours with a warm cup of herbal tea and feel all your tensions slowly melt awa.. OH GOD THE BABY HAS CRAWLED OFF THE BALCONY

Oh India, is there anything you won’t have your performing street monkeys do?

Admin’s Corollary: Penguins are black and white. This game is black and white. Therefore, this game is a penguin.

It’s the one year anniversary of everyone’s favorite game, IndestructoTank! To celebrate, the creator has released a special Anniversary Edition. This version features improved gameplay, new features, slick graphics, and a crazy new twist: in this version your tank is INDESTRUCTIBLE! Yes, I know! It’s crazy!

My favorite part of tower defense games is that 30 seconds between waves. Some people like to use the time to upgrade their units, but I like to use it to take a breather from the game and do something in the real world. Like make out with a supermodel, or maybe go online and buy a new yacht.

This original Gameboy survived a bombing during the Gulf War, and still works… if by works, you mean can be turned on and display the game. I doubt those melted buttons do anything anymore. It’s on display at the Nintendo World store in New York City.

Things start getting interesting once you’re a few levels in. That is assuming, of course, that you find a dull pain behind your eyes and a growing fury inside your heart to be “interesting”.

This game is, without a doubt, the best simulation of what real life is like that I have ever come across. You move up, up, up… things are looking good… up a little more… aaaaaaaaaaaaand back where you started.

They may look like cute little stuffed animals, but when I think of Pickies all I can see is a jar full of scabs with with the label pIckIeZ scotch taped to it. Don’t ask. You don’t want to know.

Ha! Balloon armies! Have you ever heard of anything so silly? What next, clown armies? Wait, clown armies would be terrifying.

Have you ever fantasized about being the pilot of your very own giant Mech? Well now that perverse fantasy is only a click away! Although if the Mech in your fantasies had the ability to move, you might be a little disappointed.

I was recently shocked to discover that many academic establishments find this website to be Tasteless and Offensive. Well I don’t take things lying down over here, so in an effort to correct this situation, every game from here on out will be educational in nature. Today’s game helps you learn about physics. Tomorrow’s game will help you learn about tossing midgets.

This action thriller stars Jon Voight and Eric Roberts as two escaped skateboarding convicts trapped in a drainage tube, with no brakes and nobody driving.

Woo-hoo, 16 mini-games all rolled into one. Does this mean I can take the next 16 days off?

A very simple but very addictive game. Perfect for obsessive compulsives.

Characters from Halo explain the difference between real life and the internet. It’s quite accurate I think. It’s also pretty funny, primarily due to excessive use of the word ‘masturbate’.

We are the Digital Youth Optimized for Gratification. How appropriate.

Now officially available: the illusion that made baby jesus cry. Those bean-like things are moving so much I want to slap them, but they’re actually not moving at all. Seriously.

Someone should tell this guy that parrots typically live to be over 100 years old. I wonder how he’s going to feel when he’s in his nineties and his pet bird is still calling him a ******* ****.

This game may only be fun for the musically inclined, so if you don’t know a tonic from a triad from a triplet, you’re going to have some trouble. You’re also going to have some trouble with the ladies. Everyone knows that chicks dig musicians.

Time to blend up some pig snouts and meat scraps! You’ve just started a new job as a hot dog vendor on the busy streets of New York, and the hungry customers are already beginning to line up. And don’t worry if a pigeon or rat falls into your hot dog mix - any real hot dog fan knows that’s just extra flavor.

It’s just like Star Wars, but with rafts instead of stars. Also, no lightsabers.

This Nintendo Bomberman clone really reminds me of the gaming days of my youth. And what’s really cool about it is, it has a two player mode so I can play against my imaginary friend. Wait, I mean my real friend. My girlfriend actually. She’s a supermodel. I have 10 of them.

Footage of the latest dance taking the underground LA hip-hop scene by storm. Local DJs have dubbed the trendy new style Dropping the Geriatric.

Do you like the brain puzzles? Are you obsessive compulsive? Do you need to do anything today other than sit in front of the computer until your butt goes numb? If you answered yes to all of these questions, do NOT click the link.

It’s dinner time, and the cat just wants to eat while Mr. Puppers just wants to play. Can feline wiles defeat puppy power?

If I had known gold digging was this easy I might have considered another career path. Being a male model can be so tiresome…

Merry Christmas Fruitcakes!

PS: If you don’t celebrate Christmas, have a happy Tuesday anyways. Oh yeah, and the baby Jesus hates you.

Admittedly, this game isn’t my #1 paddle related pastime, however it is a close second.

I don’t know what my problem is, but I have way more fun blowing up the trees in this game than I do the enemy tanks. Maybe it’s because my parents were killed by a rogue tree.

Some people have been complaining that lately there have been too many games on the site that require thinking, and not enough, and I quote, “vilence and killing htis site sucks ****”. So here’s a game that requires thinking AND is all about tanks and explosions and sci-fi technology. Now everyone will be happy, right?

I’ve always said the best way to handle interpersonal issues is with some gasoline and a match.

A new Internet phenomenon is emerging - live action reenactments of classic Garfield cartoons followed by mind altering music videos staring the characters. I have no idea who is responsible for these videos, or why, but I suspect foul play and I have no doubt the Japanese are somehow involved.

The Monkey is back. He laughs at your suffering.

You may have wanted to kill yourself while playing Paint Wars, but it was necessary in order to get your wrist in tip-top shape for today’s game. You see? I wasn’t doing it to punish you, I’m just trying to make you into a better gamer. And give you carpal tunnel syndrome. Play on medium or hard for highscores.

Simple as it may be, this is probably my favorite Aqua Teen Hunger Force moment. Ho ho, the screams.

In the future, all battles will be fought with small dogs, ponies and arachnid-like robots, just like in Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles.

Not since R.S.V.P - The Racial Segregation Party have I been so disgusted with a game. How many years has it taken us to overcome our prejudices? And then a little game like this comes along and tries to teach us that it does matter whether you’re black or white. Well shame on you game developers. SHAME ON YOU!

Quick! Escape the kitchen before it’s too late! Lord knows you wouldn’t want to accidentally make yourself a delicious sandwich.

The perfect product for all the perma-bachelors out there, Casulo is an entire bedroom set in a box. It will come in really handy if you have a habit of not paying your rent and need to do a lot of midnight moves.

With my busy schedule of rocket sciencetry and supermodel dating, I find it hard to get out and treasure hunt like I used to. And to be honest, being a multi-billionaire has kind of taken the excitement out of finding chests of gold.

So long as there is breath in my lungs and movement in my fingers, I will never be able to resist the siren song of the colored block game.