Unfortunately my degree in advanced human neuroscience didn’t cover fish anatomy, but my suspicion is that Fishy McFisherson here might have a tapeworm.

You thought I was kidding about Fish Week didn’t you? Honestly I had my doubts as well, but I tell you - it doesn’t matter how crazy your dream is, with a little elbow grease and some help from your friends, anything is possible. Especially if one of your friends is the baby Jesus.

A new day is dawning on The Great Fish Week of 2008. We’ve nearly reached the end, and I tell you I couldn’t be more excited. In celebration, I’ll be shoving a live trout down my trousers, and I suggest you do the same. It’s delightful!

And so The Great Fish Week of 2008 comes to a close. Truthfully, I’m a little sad. We had some good times with those slimey little guys, but all good things must come to an end. Anyways, I gotta get this trout out of my pants now.

(Use your prettiest fishiest picture for the highscores!)

In my version of heaven, I’m running around buck naked in a town painted in all primary colors. Every time I push three like-colored objects together they explode in a shower of skittles and puppy dog kisses, to the sound of wind chimes and children’s laughter. Oh, and there are strippers everywhere.

The game may not look like much, but you should give it a shot. Believe me kids, looks aren’t everything. I realize that might sound silly coming from a man who has amassed a multimillion dollar fortune through male modeling contracts, but a little bit of heart goes a long way too.

You guys just go ahead and let me know if this game is any good or not. Call me old fashioned, but I don’t engage in any leisure activities inspired by the idea of balls being crushed.

I’ve got nothing folks. Here we have yet another game featuring a screen full of balls, but after all these years there is not a single joke left in the great Encyclopedia Balltanica. I am in desperate need of some new material! Maybe someone could create a game where you have to strangle chickens? Or punish a naughty monkey…

Ever since the beginning of THE WAR ON TERROR, one has to be very careful about using the B-word in public. You know what I’m talking about, right? The B-thing that does the e-thing? Yeah? The… you know… a… *cough* bomb *cough* So anyways, this game OH GOD THEY’VE FOUND ME PLEASE I’M A WEBMASTER NOT A TERRORI-

I’ve got a fever, and the only prescription is:

a) coated 200 mg Advil tablets.
b) more cowbell.
c) raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens.

How are y’all enjoying your summer holidays? I got a little something for you here, since I thought you might be missing your maths.

It’s almost not fair for me to put up 3D avoider games, since this is the birthplace of the shining light in all our lives known as Vector Runner - however - I do like the style of this one. The house music soundtrack actually inspired me to crack and shake my very last glowstick. Unfortunately that old hit of ecstasy I had doesn’t seem to be work… wait… I… want to make love to my lamp.

What would you do if you owned a real life UFO? Take a trip to the moon? Abduct some cows? Right at this moment, I personally would take it to Dairy Queen. Peanut Buster Parfaits and chicks - need I say more?

Although my motocross racing days are behind me (thanks to a massive groin injury), I can still enjoy this… hmmm? Oh, no, the groin injury wasn’t caused by racing. How? Well, I really can’t get into it here… but let’s just say it involved Petra Nemcova, 20 gallons of grape jello, and a full grown whippet.

Missile Command + magnetic fields + eye of newt + 2 tbsp salt = M.I.R.C!

In today’s adventure you’re a lowly fly, flying your way through a big bad machine. And if you see any dog poop on the way - what the heck, take a few bites. Let’s see what all that fuss is about.

What? A tower defense game? I have no idea what you guys are talking about. No, you’re crazy.

Grab the parrot, throw on your sexiest pair of tights, and buckle your swashes (swash your buckles?) - there is treasure to be found, but only the fastest pirate gets the boot-boot-booty.

For a little extra enjoyment, turn down the lights, throw on some Slayer, and treat this game as the latest advancement in mosh pit simulation.

♫ Dance with the dead in my dreams…

Do not be fooled loyal followers! I have learned that the delicious looking baked goods in this game are not in fact frosty cupcakes, but rather tasteless, crumbly muffins. The developer responsible for this is nothing but a vile temptress, and I will never forgive him for this cruel deception.

Sit back, relax, and enjoy the soothing stylings of Music Catch. Enjoy it for hours with a warm cup of herbal tea and feel all your tensions slowly melt awa.. OH GOD THE BABY HAS CRAWLED OFF THE BALCONY

It’s tough for me to decide what I like better, Bejeweled clones, or Poppit clones. It’s kind of like trying to decide between death by fuzzy puppy kisses, or death by Brazilian supermodel kisses. It just depends on my mood.

Although every fiber of my being rejects the concept of defending cabbage, those rabbits are freaky looking enough that I can still make this work. All thanks to my belief that anything ugly should be destroyed.

Tired of boring, predictable games? Has the same-old-same-old got you down? Well rejoice, for the next Dig Your Own Grave exclusive has arrived! I am so here for you fruitcakes. I am your pusher. I am your fat sweaty sugar daddy. I am the cushion for your pushin. I… might have crossed the line with that last one.

Live ordinance falling all around you. Fat guy in speedo behind you. Girls beach volleyball tournament ahead in the distance. Run, my friends. Run.

I implore you, EAT THE COOKIES FASTER.

Put on your yalmulka, here comes Hanukkah. It’s so much fun-akkah to celebrate Hanukkah.

Can there be a better way to put an engineering education to use than to develop a game simulating the fluid dynamics of mucus? Well if there is, I don’t want to know about it.

I remember when this game was called Moai. I also remember when I put on my pants this morning. Oh wait… no I don’t.

The day I see a cupcake lying on the ground and don’t immediately eat it is the same day I put on a Wonder Woman suit and ride around town on a flying pig. I’m sorry guys, but for this game you’re on your own.

I don’t know what sort of shady stuff you guys have been clicking on over there, but these little guys are not very happy with you.

This one is just like Bejeweled - except instead of sparkling gems, you have smelly fish. Also, when you lose you suffocate and die on the bottom of the ocean. And although they don’t show it, I’m pretty sure those same smelly fish start eating your body (sort of like this). But otherwise it’s exactly like Bejeweled.

Dragons. Goblins. Slaughter Bonus. ‘Nuff said.

It should come as a shock to no one that the creator of today’s game is this guy.

Touch all the black and white shapes before they reach the bottom of the screen. But don’t touch any of the colored ones, or this cute little puppy gets it.*

* it = big kiss on the forehead

Boom Chicka Boom. Chicka Chicka Boom Boom.

Never before has molecular engineering been so much fun. And never before have my pants felt so tight.

I never realized dogs had such strict building codes for their castles. No wonder Mr. Scruffers ran away on me.

Admin’s Corollary: Penguins are black and white. This game is black and white. Therefore, this game is a penguin.

It’s time to throw building codes to the side, and enter the international race to build the world’s tallest tower. Put on your hardhat and get to it - your country is depending on you!

Since many of you are suffering through the worst snowfall you’ve seen in years, I thought it might be appropriate to put up a snow-themed game. To, you know, torture you even further.

Shooting your friends really isn’t such a big deal. Especially if they’re jerks.

Only a true master of counting can defeat this game. Someone whose obsession with counting is almost… perverse. Someone like this guy.

Things start getting interesting once you’re a few levels in. That is assuming, of course, that you find a dull pain behind your eyes and a growing fury inside your heart to be “interesting”.

Grab your quad-laser, because it’s time to deliver a beat down to a bunch of squares! And I apologize in advance if that concept brings back bad memories for any of you.

Have you ever fantasized about being the pilot of your very own giant Mech? Well now that perverse fantasy is only a click away! Although if the Mech in your fantasies had the ability to move, you might be a little disappointed.

They may look like cute little stuffed animals, but when I think of Pickies all I can see is a jar full of scabs with with the label pIckIeZ scotch taped to it. Don’t ask. You don’t want to know.

Woo-hoo, 16 mini-games all rolled into one. Does this mean I can take the next 16 days off?

Here is a game for when you are bored at work that simulates you being bored at work. Ingenious? Ingenious.

I’ve gotten 10 in a row so far. I must be pants!

In the future, mankind will travel the vast interstellar void of space in square ships that can only travel in four directions. It will make about as much sense as Dune.

You see? You should have actually paid attention in math class instead of just passing notes and snapping girl’s bras. Now aliens are going to destroy the world and it’s pretty much all your fault.

Jump from skull to skull to make your way down the river. You know, just how you’d make your way down a river in real life.

So long as there is breath in my lungs and movement in my fingers, I will never be able to resist the siren song of the colored block game.

Not since R.S.V.P - The Racial Segregation Party have I been so disgusted with a game. How many years has it taken us to overcome our prejudices? And then a little game like this comes along and tries to teach us that it does matter whether you’re black or white. Well shame on you game developers. SHAME ON YOU!

AAHHHH!! AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!! AAAHHHH? Ah? Ah! Aaaaaaaahhhhhhh…

Click groups of three or more like-colored blocks to make them disappear. Don’t let the blocks reach the top or something bad will happen. I’m not going to say exactly what, but it may involve your mom, three stray cats, 1 jar of spaghetti sauce, former UFC heavyweight champion Tim ‘The Maniac’ Sylvia, and a lightbulb.

In the game of Multiball Madness, I can guarantee you will experience two things. The first is balls. Multiple balls. The second is madness. Pure, unadulterated madness.

You’re on your own for this one guys. I have a fear of spiders that is all too real, and a reaction to seeing them that is all too feminine. As soon as those fat mutants started crawling down the screen I yelped like a chihuahua and ran straight into the bathroom.

You may have wanted to kill yourself while playing Paint Wars, but it was necessary in order to get your wrist in tip-top shape for today’s game. You see? I wasn’t doing it to punish you, I’m just trying to make you into a better gamer. And give you carpal tunnel syndrome. Play on medium or hard for highscores.

The screenshot may look pretty, but 5 minutes in and you’ll be wishing for death. Lucky for you suicide will be difficult because the tendons in your wrist should have seized up by then.

Remember that crazy Snowball game from a couple years ago? Well it’s back, and now it’s in glorious 3D. Use your giant icy balls to defeat the forces of evil in the Olympic Kingdom.

If you’re having trouble with the keys, you need to update your Flash Player.

I’ve always said the best way to handle interpersonal issues is with some gasoline and a match.

I don’t know what my problem is, but I have way more fun blowing up the trees in this game than I do the enemy tanks. Maybe it’s because my parents were killed by a rogue tree.

Admittedly, this game isn’t my #1 paddle related pastime, however it is a close second.

Yipes! Evil tar bugs are invading the garden and it’s up to you to take command of the seed army and save the day. Personally I’d just unload a few cans of Raid ® Extra Strength Bug Armageddon, but hey whatever works for you.

Well here’s your last game for 2007. And there have been so many games! So which one was your favorite? Vector Runner? How about besides Vector Runner? Oh, the Huge Manatee? Oh gosh, you guys flatter me.

Merry Christmas Fruitcakes!

PS: If you don’t celebrate Christmas, have a happy Tuesday anyways. Oh yeah, and the baby Jesus hates you.

A little stock tip for you guys: don’t trade in your Google shares for ‘precious sparkle gems’. Turns out that’s not even a real form of currency.

Bringing the F-U-N back into racial segregation!

With the imminent deployment of the National Missile Defense System, the great country of America no longer needs to fear the once dreaded “Mutually Assured Destruction” doomsday scenario. Now we can focus our fears on issues closer to home, such as, “Is there something under my bed?”, “Will I die alone?”, and “OMG I just burped in her face I hope she couldn’t smell that”.

Littlegrey Media Legal Notice: As an established publisher of online interactive media, this website is required by federal law to post any game involving magical goats and time travel.

If I had known gold digging was this easy I might have considered another career path. Being a male model can be so tiresome…

I’ve been staring at the screen for 10 minutes now, and I can’t think of a single innuendo about balls. What’s happening to me? Maybe I need a vacation.

It’s just like Star Wars, but with rafts instead of stars. Also, no lightsabers.

Time to blend up some pig snouts and meat scraps! You’ve just started a new job as a hot dog vendor on the busy streets of New York, and the hungry customers are already beginning to line up. And don’t worry if a pigeon or rat falls into your hot dog mix - any real hot dog fan knows that’s just extra flavor.

I, for one, welcome the imminent zombie invasion. First off - immortality? Sign me up. And then throw in a diet of nothing but human brains? Nutritious and delicious.

Now before you start getting all up in the comments with your NOT ANOTHER TOWER DEFENSE GAME!!!!!!1s, I want you to turn off the capslock and ask yourself, do I see any towers? Am I doing any “defending”? Actually, forget that last question. Just answer the one about the towers.

I decided that for this year’s Thanksgiving post I would do a Google search for “shoot turkeys and or pilgrims game” and take the first relevant result I could find. And this is it. And it’s also the last time I’m ever going to do that.

Fly your dragon through the crazy tunnel maze and don’t hit any walls. Where do you think he’s going in such a rush? Dragon Happy Hour? A custody hearing? Maybe he just has to go to the bathroom.

Hurray, hoorah, it’s another DDR keyboard game. But this one throws in color-matching to infuriate the color blind, and an excruciating soundtrack to lobotomize anyone unfortunate enough to own computer speakers. And why you ask? Because life’s just not hard enough.

Crying candies. My gosh, have you ever heard of anything so sad? Somebody give those little guys a cuddle!

Next time you have a hard day at the office, try firing up this game when you get home and smashing some cities. Waaaaaaaaaaaaay more effective than yoga my friends.

We’re all pretty smart here. ‘Edumacated’ and what not. I know you don’t need me to tell you about Newton’s most famous Law, the Third Law of Motion. That one that states for each and every reaction there is another thing that happens, and that I’m super cool, and score with all the ladies, and all that. Common knowledge, right?

Phew! Check this game out. I haven’t seen that many polar bears since the Furry Convention back in Schaumburg last year. Not that I was there or anything. I just heard about it from some friends who were there. Friends who aren’t Furries. Friends of friends, actually. I’m completely hairless truth be told.

Fear not, citizens of Earth! When goofy galactic robots invade, you will be there to fight off the invasion. The government has surgically removed your skeleton to provide you with greater agility, and attached powerful automatic weapons to your hands for combat (they are also auditing you for the 2006 tax year to increase your aggression).

That’s right folks. It’s time for another Dig Your Own Grave exclusive game. I know! It’s totally crazy. We’re pooping these things out like we just ate them for breakfast. This game features some old-skool 3D vector graphics, and a pace so fast that we can actually 100% guarantee you’ll have a stroke. Enjoy!

Halloween is coming, and I for one am so excited that every time I think about it I pee in my pants a little bit. To help set the mood, let’s start the week off with some decapitations!