Remember, these are just stickmen. It’s not considered real violence if your victims are two-dimensional and faceless. And yes, that would also apply to Lindsay Lohan if you happen to run into her.

ZOMBIES COMIN’ UP THE HELL RIGHT NOW! SHOOT ‘EM IN THE HEAD! SHOOT ‘EM!! HIS AXE IS ON FIRE! HE KILLED YOUR PARENTS! SHOOT ‘EM IN THE HEAD!! JUMP GYPSY, JUMP!!

Although this game is fantastically cool, I cannot help but think of how much cooler it would be if these talented game developers had made it about a pirate and not a ninja. Instead of lasers there would be cannonballs, and instead of all this silly jumping there would be swashbuckling. And there would also be ale, and a parrot, and eyepatches. I think I’ve made my point.

Life is unfair. The sooner you kids learn this, the better off you’ll be. When you get older you can expect everyday life to be exactly like this game. Well, you don’t die as much - unless you count dying on the inside.

I’ll be honest, this game isn’t really what I had imagined when I fantasize about being a zombie. First off, armor? Second, friends? And I had imagined a lot more brain eating. Also - less talking, more groaning.

Remember that crazy Snowball game from a couple years ago? Well it’s back, and now it’s in glorious 3D. Use your giant icy balls to defeat the forces of evil in the Olympic Kingdom.

If you’re having trouble with the keys, you need to update your Flash Player.

The Monkey is back. He laughs at your suffering.

If you’ve ever wondered how a computer virus attacks a network, this game is actually a 100% accurate simulation of how it is done. Although in real life the ice cannons are not quite as poweful, and the flamethrower has a slightly wider attack angle but with less range.

Pop open the bubbly, it’s time to celebrate! Fans of Boxhead: More Rooms are sure to enjoy ‘2Play’, the next installment in the box zombie series. And if you’re lucky enough to have a friend sitting beside you, or perhaps a conjoined twin, then you can also enjoy the new co-op and deathmatch modes!

Admittedly, this game isn’t my #1 paddle related pastime, however it is a close second.