Only a true master of counting can defeat this game. Someone whose obsession with counting is almost… perverse. Someone like this guy.

Shooting your friends really isn’t such a big deal. Especially if they’re jerks.

My stepmother used to tell me that I would burn for eternity in the Lake of Fire if I didn’t study the Bible, but I am confused as to whether the Lake of Fire is in fact the same body of flames as the Sea of Fire? Because from what I can tell so far, the Sea of Fire is pretty awesome.

Finally, a game that scientists and creationists can both enjoy equally. The logical among you will appreciate the realistic simulation of the Laws of Physics, while the faithful can marvel at the mystical crayon powered by the magic of Jesus.

I know I said I was done with tower defense games, but I swear this isn’t one. I have play tested it thoroughly, and I can guarantee that there is not a single tower in the game, nor do you do any sort of defending. It’s actually more of a OH THE WEB OF LIES PLEASE FOGIVE ME

And here we are, screwed again by gravity. Seriously, name one good thing about gravity. Going to the bathroom? Hmmmm… okay, maybe gravity’s not so bad.

The members of this family want but two things - to cross the river, and to beat each other into unconsciousness. One task is significantly easier than the other as you will soon find out.