I’ve played this game for a while now and although I have seen many many booms I have not seen a single vector. As an experienced game developer I would like to recommend some names that might be a bit more appropriate – for instance, just “Boom”, or “Space Boom”, or maybe “Vince Shlomi and the Sham Wows”.

This game, much like your mom, requires Flash Player 10 or it’s going to go all menopausal on you.

Dig Your Own Grave would like to make it very clear that we feel suicide is no laughing matter. Unless a clown is committing suicide. Those big shoes are hilarious.

For the scores, enter a time of 04:35:853 as 4.35853.

Not to split hairs, but if the first zombie rampage was endless, can there really be a second one? I would assume the second rampage would just be an extension of the first one. It’s like if you have endless diarrhea – you can’t have another bout of endless diarrhea at the same time. It’s nonsense.

Little known fact: I invented bridges in 1635.

I recently had a conversation with my brother about food poisoning, and like many brothers before us we came to a deadlock on the age old question – which is worse, explosive diarrhea or vomiting? Thankfully we can now solve this problem scientifically using a poll.

Pardon my interruption, but did I hear somebody say Medieval Rampage?

I was actually thinking the other day that a penguin would make the perfect pet – if it wasn’t for the constant pooping. You could bring him in the bath, he wouldn’t take much room on the bed, I bet he’d love watching tv and sharing popcorn… It really is a shame about the pooping.

Whenever I wake up and find myself crashed on an unknown planet, I just follow these simple steps for survival: 1) cry hysterically, 2) see if there are any cats on board that can be used as food, 3) pee on my shirt and wrap it around my head to prevent dehydration, and 4) take a nap. I always end up waking up a little later, safe and sound at home in my bed. And also covered in urine.

Are those gems in my pockets? Gosh no, I’m just happy to see you. Very happy. Alright you got me, those are gems.

Do you know what else I love? Papercuts. I love them.

This game reminds me of the hours days okay fine, weeks I flushed down the pooper playing Civ3 and Dice Wars. The desire for revenge I feel when territory is stolen from me immediately overrides all natural instincts to eat, bathe, blink, and feed the goldfish. Forgive me Bubbles and Lexus! FORGIVE ME!

Music Catch – so relaxing it’s guaranteed to make you forget to breathe, or at the very least poop your pants. Here’s hoping for the latter.

For those interested, the music in the game is by Isaac Shepard.

The most annoying thing about monstars is that they’re scary and occupy valuable closet space. The most annoying thing about Death is that he’s always trying to end my life and sometimes he forgets to flush. So Death wins this round in my books.

So the other day this pretty influential guy was talking to me, and he was like, “Admin, you are so super cool the way you make games and stuff”. And I was like, “Thanks God, you’re pretty cool yourself, the way you created the universe and stuff. Oh, except for the part where you made testicles on the outside.” Seriously, what’s up with that?

Bowja’s back. Bow Chicka Bow Wow.

Anyone who’s at least 400 years old like I am might remember my favorite childhood nursery rhyme, “Roly Poly pudding and blackberry pie…”. This game reminded me of that, so I used the google to find out what roly-poly is. Turns out it’s actually a disgusting bug. My childhood was a lie.

Yay! The Magic Pen is back. Use it to guide the donut to the flags, or use it to create the perfect cyber-girlfriend out of slabs of inanimate stone and call her Laura. The choice is yours. I know you know what I’m doing.

The title of this game promised me cursors. When I read “Cursor Chaos” I picture an orgy of multi-colored arrows, hourglasses, and pointing fingers, all shooting me, shooting each other, insulting my mother, crying, peeing on my couch, and making out with Cindy Seabrook in the closet. I’m not going to lie, I was a little disappointed.

Remember that time you had Taco Bell and then had to find a bathroom really (really really) quickly? This game picks up where that fateful afternoon left off.

PS: Contains NSFW language. Lots of it.

Not satisfied with their growing crime syndicate of denim thievery, rogue pandas are now branching into space travel to continue their illicit activities outside the watchful eye of the law.

People often ask me how I choose what games to post on Dig Your Own Grave. Basically I follow a simple 2-step system: First, I start up the game and begin playing. Second, I play for about 5 minutes and wait to see if any bunnies come on the screen, jump in the air, and fire large poop pellets at me. If it happens, I post the game.

That purple globular mass may look like grape jelly, but this webmaster can assure you that it most definitely is not. It neither tastes like grape jelly, nor possesses the soothing qualities of grape jelly when placed in the trousers. It is nothing more than a cruel electronic facade.

When I first read the title of this game I assumed they meant Sass! Zombie Assault, and that all the characters would be… uh.. doing whatever sassy people do. But it gave me the idea that we should have a little game and try to come up with what we think SAS means. First person to give the correct answer is a moron.

By the end of 2009 you will still be unemployed and in debt, 10 pounds heavier, one year closer to death, and will still have never kissed a girl. But – you’ll be most excellent at stacking things.

For some reason the first totem in this game reminds me of RuBot. And for some reason Rubot reminds me that the end of humanity is nearly upon us. So go ahead and enjoy the game while I try and enjoy the last danish I will possibly ever eat before the machines come to solve my Rubik’s Cube and cut my limbs off.

DYOG Commenting Rules Article 5, subsection 2: Any member using the comments section to refer to a game as ‘easy’ does so with full understanding that such comment is in fact an admission that their mother is actually the one that is ‘easy’. So easy in fact, that she is manager in charge of easiness at the Easy Factory in Easington.

Well today is President’s Day in the US, and we all know what that means. It means I can sit here on my couch in pantless glory until midnight and nobody can say a damn thing about it. Sometimes I like to refer to this particular holiday by it’s more common name – “Monday”.

Protect your heart from hordes of enemy cows.

Yeah, you heard that right.

You know who would be good at this game? This guy.

Press L to submit your score. Use any game mode you want.

Your wildest Plinko fantasies have just come true.

If there’s one thing that the internet has taught us over these past few years, it’s that it’s fun and perfectly safe to play with fire.

I tried this game a couple weeks ago and it nearly put me to sleep, but apparently THE ENTIRE POPULATION OF THE INTERNET thinks it’s the bees knees. So now I’m in this bizarre situation where I have to consider that I might have actually been wrong. Let me know what you think – I’ve got my seppuku blade sharpened and ready to go.

No matter how cute you try and draw a cartoon hedgehog, it will never, ever, ever ever ever, look as cute as a real life hedgehog. I think it’s one of the laws of physics.

Yeah, I know it’s old, buy hey – so is your mom!

Finally, a game that I excel at thanks to my rocket sciencestry background. The point is to hurl all the creatures into the chasm, right?

I’ve got a fever, and the only prescription is:

a) coated 200 mg Advil tablets.
b) more cowbell.
c) raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens.

I’m convinced that mechanical engineers are warlocks. Burn them at the stake!

After yesterday’s game you should be all set to handle the challenges of today’s game, Boombot. You sure like blowing stuff up, don’t you? Kinda makes you feel good doesn’t it? WELL I GOT MY EYE ON YOU AL-QAEDA!

You might not think that stacking blocks would be fun, be let’s not forget you felt the same way when I told you to try pouring butterscotch pudding down your pants. And now you can’t leave the house without a little pudding in the pants, can you? It’s just so gosh darned… butterscotchy.

Finally, a little game for the Emo in all of us.

I think this game is broken. I can’t find the Yahtzee button anywhere.

In the highly anticipated sequel to Storm the House 2, more advanced storming algorithms combined with the latest in cutting-edge house rendering technology provide the player with a completely new* gaming experience.

*similar

This game confuses me, it’s nothing like my personal experiences with air travel. For instance, I’ve never had to wait in line boarding my private jet. And who are all those other people on the plane? At most I’ve had maybe 2 personal assistants flying with me at once. Oh I get it, those are the strippers!

Snowboarding looks pretty cool, but personally I prefer sports that are performed in a much warmer climate. And don’t require a space helmet for safety. Or bind my legs. Or make me hemorrhage into my skull. I’m just not a big fan of brain swelling.

Another simple little flash game. The point of this one is to throw your knives directly into the girls face. And it’s pretty damn hard unl… hmmmmm? What? Well that’s what I said: throw the knives into the targets without hitting the girl in the face. Duh.

No, you’re sick.

Here’s another puzzle game we can use to see which of us is the smartest. I got to level 8, so until I hear someone do better I am officially the smartest person on the internet. And as soon as someone posts that they have gotten to a higher level then they will officially be a liar and I will officially still be the smartest person on the internet.

This is a very unique and addictive puzzle game. It’s all about balance. Unfortunately it doesn’t have any metric for scoring or levels, so I’ll just say I got as far as the big gray head and that as usual I am the best and you all live in my shadow (which is also awesomer than you and gets more chicks).

This game has haunted me since I was a child. That sound it makes when you lose is the sound of all my life’s failures rolled into one gut-wrenching mechanical groan of disapointment. BWRAAAAAWRR(you’re dumb)RRRRR(you’re a failure)RRRRR(stupid)RRR……

Here is the eagerly anticipated summer-blockbuster game Bowman 2. Not that I’ve ever played Bowman 1, but I’m sure this one is miles ahead in both special effects and plot twists. Be sure to try ‘Bird Hunting’ mode; pretend they’re all pigeons and exterminate with extreme prejiduce!

While it isn’t a game in the sense that there are no scores, and no goal, this is still a fun little time waster. Draw lines to create the sledding hill you always dreamed of as a kid, and then watch your pixel-comprised alter ego plunge down with wild abandon. I just wish there was an eraser tool.

Hell of Sand is yet another game with no point other than to waste time. It is also an oddly titled game. I would have called it Joy of Relaxing Sand. Make sure you experiment with all of the options at the bottom.

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be a missile? Yeah… me too. In fact it pretty much consumes my every waking thought. I used to think about it so much that it cost me just about everything. My job, my wife, my hair, my beloved hamster Sir Hamerstien… but now thanks to this game I can finally get my life back together. Thank-you The Missile Game 3d!

Now that you’ve had all this practice playing Double Wires, you can move on to the more challenging Pendulumeca. The principle is the same but you’ve only got one wire and it’s faster paced. And crappier. Kind of like your score compared to mine. Which was 220m.

This is one of those tower-defense-type games, only with this one you get in on the action a little bit. It’s been around for a while, but unlike me not everyone is a walking Flash game encyclopedia, so I thought I’d share. And also unlike me not everyone has the figure and features of a Greek god, but unfortunately there’s nothing I can do about that.

Line Rider is back, this time with two different track types, a zoom tool, and an eraser tool!

ZOMBIES COMIN’ UP THE HELL RIGHT NOW! SHOOT ‘EM IN THE HEAD! SHOOT ‘EM!! HIS AXE IS ON FIRE! HE KILLED YOUR PARENTS! SHOOT ‘EM IN THE HEAD!! JUMP GYPSY, JUMP!!

Like me, have you always felt that Green Arrow was the lamest member of the Justice League? I know he had that hot green suit and the awesome pointy goatee, but the bow-and-arrow seemed like such a silly weapon compared to Superman’s heat vision. Well boy were we wrong! The bow-and-arrow is the best weapon ever!

I was shocked to hear that some people were a little offended by yesterday’s donkey-dung kicking game. To those that were offended I humbly offer you my apologies, and also an alternate game for you to play that has nothing to do with pooping or farting. It is called ‘Fart Fart’ and it is about farting.

You fruitcakes asked for it, and now you’ve got it: Nanaca†Crash. So pause that episode of The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers and put down your Jigglypuff doll. It’s time to save the world, crazy-ass Japanese style!

Don’t get me wrong, I love the Zen-ness of this game as it is, but throw in some swimming zombies and strap an assault weapon to the dolphin’s head and I think we would have Game of the Year.

Although the medicinal effects of popping balloons have never been scientifically proven, the South African Supahfa-izzle tribe have been using the technique for over a century. Critically ill tribe members are give a large pin and placed in an enclosure filled with giant, colorful balloons. And although the patients still die, at least they die smelling of balloons.

Coincidentally, I have my very own set of real life “Indestructotanks”. I call them “my fists”. Get it? My fists. HULK ANGRY! ME SMASH!

I don’t think we do enough educational stuff on this site. Sure we have some fun, but in what way do you exercise your mental muscle by visiting Dig Your Own Grave? WELL THAT ALL CHANGES TODAY. It’s time to figure out some wordz and your gonna need to do sum spellinz and if you don’t you’re going to die a horrible, horrible, horrible death.

This puzzle, like the Jumping Frogs, can only be solved by super geniuses, kids under the age of 14, or people who know how to use Google. So if you’re not in any of those three categories you better not click that link or it will be the last thing you do. UPDATE: before you go insane, read the comments for the ’solution’.

Pop open the bubbly, it’s time to celebrate! Fans of Boxhead: More Rooms are sure to enjoy ‘2Play’, the next installment in the box zombie series. And if you’re lucky enough to have a friend sitting beside you, or perhaps a conjoined twin, then you can also enjoy the new co-op and deathmatch modes!

Okay, everyone all together now:

NNNNNNNNNNnnn… BRAINNNNNNNnnns…

Sure, Guitar Hero is great for all you kids who are aspiring to be greasy-haired rock stars. But what if your musical aspirations consist of playing keyboards in a fruity Euro house band? Well Up Beat is just for you my friend! Turn up your speakers, grab a glow stick, and try not to stay up too late.

Oh boy, we’re starting the week off with a bang. This puzzle is a real thinker. It involves chess, mathematics, and snooty female royalty. I know my education definitely helped out! (I have a Bachelors in computer science and a PhD in male super modeling).

Do you love Guitar Hero? Do your parents not love you enough to buy it for you? Well stop crying cry-baby! Now thanks to the internet you can play this two-dimensional Guitar Hero clone that features a collection of songs by people who aren’t famous!

In honor o’ this most excellent seafarin’ hearty game, all comments must be port in official seafarin’ hearty speak. Ya lily livered scurvy dog!

Science has proven that even a Proboscis Monkey can spot the differences between these sets of pictures. You’re smarter than a crazy penis-nosed monkey, aren’t you?

Look, I don’t want to scare any of you out there, but zombies are coming to eat your brains, and soon. Like tomorrow. Probably around 3pm. We’re planning on grabbing some Taco Bell first, so we may be a little late. Excuse me, they might be a little late. Heh.

The directions for this game are a bit complicated, so read carefully: CLUB SMASH, CLUB SMASH HEAD. SMASH GOOD. Spacebar will pause the game, and SMASH GOOD, OG LOVE SMASH.

Ever since discovering the 3D greatness that is Vector Runner, I realize you must regard any game with the term 3D in it’s title with great skepticism. However I can assure you that this game does involve a well rendered three dimensional cube, and the last version was pretty cool so you should at least give it a chance.

This Nintendo Bomberman clone really reminds me of the gaming days of my youth. And what’s really cool about it is, it has a two player mode so I can play against my imaginary friend. Wait, I mean my real friend. My girlfriend actually. She’s a supermodel. I have 10 of them.

If I had known gold digging was this easy I might have considered another career path. Being a male model can be so tiresome…

With my busy schedule of rocket sciencetry and supermodel dating, I find it hard to get out and treasure hunt like I used to. And to be honest, being a multi-billionaire has kind of taken the excitement out of finding chests of gold.

Yeeehaw! It’s time to dust off that cowboy hat and put on your sexiest pair of assless chaps. Thanks to this game, you can now live out your embarrassing wild-west gunslinger fantasy from the safety of your own home. And who knows, if you keep practicing maybe one day you’ll be as good as this guy.

Little known fact: 1 in 4 zombies would rather cuddle than eat brains.

PS: JUMP GYPSY, JUMP!

It’s the one year anniversary of everyone’s favorite game, IndestructoTank! To celebrate, the creator has released a special Anniversary Edition. This version features improved gameplay, new features, slick graphics, and a crazy new twist: in this version your tank is INDESTRUCTIBLE! Yes, I know! It’s crazy!

Only a true master of counting can defeat this game. Someone whose obsession with counting is almost… perverse. Someone like this guy.

Shooting your friends really isn’t such a big deal. Especially if they’re jerks.

My stepmother used to tell me that I would burn for eternity in the Lake of Fire if I didn’t study the Bible, but I am confused as to whether the Lake of Fire is in fact the same body of flames as the Sea of Fire? Because from what I can tell so far, the Sea of Fire is pretty awesome.

Finally, a game that scientists and creationists can both enjoy equally. The logical among you will appreciate the realistic simulation of the Laws of Physics, while the faithful can marvel at the mystical crayon powered by the magic of Jesus.

I know I said I was done with tower defense games, but I swear this isn’t one. I have play tested it thoroughly, and I can guarantee that there is not a single tower in the game, nor do you do any sort of defending. It’s actually more of a OH THE WEB OF LIES PLEASE FOGIVE ME

And here we are, screwed again by gravity. Seriously, name one good thing about gravity. Going to the bathroom? Hmmmm… okay, maybe gravity’s not so bad.

The members of this family want but two things – to cross the river, and to beat each other into unconsciousness. One task is significantly easier than the other as you will soon find out.