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Learn To Fly 2
categories: Games

Seeing a penguin with his head wrapped in bandages reminds me of the time I got some discount liposuction done in Tuktoyaktuk. Instead of giving me an anesthetic they just made me lie naked in the snow for an hour. And they stole my wallet. And never operated on me. Good times, good times…

Private: Spectrum Runner
categories: Games

Today’s game is a preview of the latest DYOG exclusive – it’s like Vector Runner meets Audiosurf meets a party in my undies. I’ve linked to the game on Kongregate because I entered it into a contest they’re having. If you have a Kong account do me a solid and give it a good rating!

Don’t Tease My Dog
categories: Cute, Funny, Videos

Just give him some damn maple bacon!

ToneMatrix Synthesizer
categories: Geeky, Music

Abracadabra you’re a musician.

Elephant Quest
categories: Games

We all know nobody wants to talk about the elephant in the room, though I can’t help but wonder if it would be different if he was carrying ten balloons, a teddy bear, and a couple of golden keys. I bet everyone would wanna talk about that guy.

Bullet Heaven
categories: Games

Everyone knows there’s no bullets or violence in heaven. It’s just a field of clouds filled with puppies in sweaters, Yankee Candles and lots and lots of strippers.

Adorable Baby Seal
categories: Cute, Videos

So cute you could just club it to death.

The Man With The Invisible Trousers
categories: Games

I have a pantsless decade and a dozen public indecency charges under my belt (pardon the pun), but I have never once thought of defending myself with something as simple as “I do have my trousers on… but they’re invisible“. It’s brilliant.

Hack Slash Crawl
categories: Games

On my list of favorite activities “hack slash crawl” is a close second to “kneel bark paddle”.

Creative Kill Chamber
categories: Games

Creative kill chamber? Oh really. Where is a juicy liver I can eat with fava beans and a nice Chianti? Where is the chubby girl who puts the lotion in the basket or else she gets the hose again? Where is the rusty saw I can use to cut off my own foot and escape to freedom? It’s time to put the creative back in our kill chambers people!

Mimic Octopus

If there were land octopuses we’d all be dead. Dead I tell you!

Treadmillasaurus Rex
categories: Games

Everyone uses different tricks to keep things sorted out in their head. I for instance believe that everything can be related to the 1990s pop phenomenon The Spice Girls. Take today’s game – Jesusaurus Rex is to Posh Spice as Treadmillasaurus Rex is to Sporty Spice (with a top hat). See, the world makes so much more sense now, doesn’t it?

categories: Games

The creators of the game Apple Shooter finally finished processing the results of the survey they conducted during its release. Since the results were 98.3% in favor of “yes, I would rather shoot an arrow into my friend’s face and/or crotch than into an apple”, they decided to create a similar game, only this time with guns.

As I Lay Dying!

Ever since the talented Mr. Teale Fristoe released his first game Arachnophilia, there has been public outcry demanding another of his creations to worship. Gaming nerds have camped on his lawn like it’s Harry Potter release night, and tides of women have offered him their first born, almost enough to make my harem of supermodels seem insignificant (I said almost). Well my friends, today is the day.

Bloons 2 Christmas Pack

After I discovered this Christmas edition of Bloons 2, I admit I had one of my minor “episodes” and had to take a fistful of pills to settle down. But now that I’m all chillaxed I couldn’t care less if they make one for each of the 12 days of Christmas and OH GOD MY HANDS ARE HUGE

Server Upgrade
categories: Misc

Over the next 24 hours (or maybe more), we’ll be attempting to upgrade our server by dipping it in sacred blood and waving chicken legs over it. During this time the forums will be down, comments will be disabled, and any scores or achievements earned will unfortunately be lost when the new box comes online. UPDATE: all finished now – report any problems in the comments.

categories: Funny

Listening to a swarm of angry hornets while watching the World Cup is awesome, but then you inevitably miss that soothing sound of being trapped in an infinite beehive while you’re surfing Dig Your Own Grave. That is, until now!

The Final Death Wish
categories: Games

I think I made it clear a long time ago that my final death wish is death by puppies.

Crater Face
categories: Art, Cute, Videos

I am not liable for the tears.

categories: Other

Like any self respecting Hollywood movie star, a website needs to get a good facelift from time to time to keep it competitive with all those young up-and-coming starlets. Today is that day for DYOG. There is more work to come, but today’s update is the first step. If you notice any problems, please leave it in the comments (including your browser info would also be appreciated).

The MegaPenny Project
categories: Geeky, Pics

Have you ever wondered what a stack of one million pennies looks like? How about a trillion? Or maybe one quadrillion? Perhaps a quintillion? Did you even know there was such a number as one quintillion? I didn’t. This site is all sorts of useful.

Dummy Never Fails

I was recently reminded that I haven’t put up any game achievements in almost a decade, so I did what any dedicated webmaster would do and I went to my lab and cloned a copy of myself to whip some up. Today’s game has ’em, and so does Flood Runner 2 and Sydney Shark. Incidentally, my clone came out female for some reason, and she’s super hot. Can I go there?

categories: Games

If games were rated based on their backgrounds, this one would be a solid 8. And if games were rated based on their use of the words “red” and “shift” in the title, this one would score a perfect 10. Therefore I give this game an average rating of 9.

Magical Mysteries
categories: Funny, Music, Videos

Saturday Night Live parodies Insane Clown Posse’s horrible abortion of a song.

Sydney Shark

Silly game, everyone knows in Australia they’re not called sharks, they’re called wallamawimwams. Anyways, have a great weekend folks – and watch out for bees!

You’re Doing It Wrong
categories: Funny, Videos

Do you struggle with the simplest of physical tasks? Then _____ is for you!

Urban Sprinting
categories: Funny, Videos

I’m impressed that mall security guards in England don’t need Rascal scooters.

The Flood Runner 2

Just don’t forget your Flood Survival Tips.

Handstand Doggy McCold Feet
categories: Cute, Funny, Videos

I guess you can judge a book by its cover.

I was hungry but there were cannons
categories: Games

Some games need to be posted based on their title alone, just as some videos need to be voted for based on their title alone.

Happy Easter!
categories: Funny, Music, Videos

Remember – the baby Jesus may love you, but not everyone does.

Steam Birds
categories: Games

Steam Birds. Steamed birds? Perhaps a delicious steamed quail. Yes, I could go for that right now. Steamed quail and a Burgundian Pinot Noir to start the weekend off right! Jeeves!

(Jeeves is my butler)

Scrubbing Bubbles Are Perverts
categories: Funny, Videos

Loofah, loofah, loofah!

Bring your crappy stick figure drawings to life!
categories: Art, Videos

Thanks to recent advances in technology, you can create your own private dancer, a dancer for money, he’ll do what you want him to do. Just click paint and let your dreams do the talking.

Mad Karate Man
categories: Games

Oh man, mad karate man.
Your heart’s so cold,
Like your fists of stone.
Oh man, my mad karate man.

Mystery of Shark Island

We’re adding yet another new feature – casual (downloadable) game recommendations! Back in the days before I became the world’s most renowned pantsless neurosurgeon, I worked on this relaxing hidden object game. You may be able to find all the sea shells, but can you find the hidden penis?

The Culmination of Athletic Achievement
categories: Crazy, Videos

From the Olympics of Ancient Greece, to the epic ladder races of today, humans have created some truly stupid sports. Seriously though, this is pretty impressive. When I get half way up a ladder, I freeze because I imagine myself falling to my death from the incredible six foot height.

This is the Only Level TOO
categories: Games

the blue elephant
escapes into confinement
for endless seasons

Balloon in a Wasteland
categories: Games

Repair your balloon and escape the Island before The Others find you, kill you, bury your body in a shallow grave, steal your identity and eventually kill Jacob.

categories: Games

That’s right my pretties, it’s time for another installment of Guess Today’s Game. Is it “Sicksquid” a top-down shooter staring a projectile vomiting octopus, or “Pictogrid”, a challenging puzzle game where you slide blocks around with the arrow keys? Click to find out!

Vector Runner iPhone
categories: Games

Believe it fruitcakes. If you have an iPhone or iPod Touch, just do the clickity-click to get yourself the greatest app since iBoobs. And I know you all don’t have iPhones to appreciate this with, so to celebrate I’ve re-released the original Flash version of Vector Runner and added 3 new achievements.

Merry Christmas!
categories: Games

Well fruitcakes, it’s Christmas time, when we let in light and we banish shade. Wait, what? Nevermind. Anyways, I hope you all have a great Christmas (or whatever other holidays you baby Jesus haters might participate in), and remember – if you don’t get the gifts you want, don’t be sad, just make someone pay.

categories: Games

These are my pants. There are many like them, but these ones are mine. My pants are my worst enemy. They are my death. I must master my pants as I must master my life. My pants, without me, are useless. Without my pants, I am invincible.

Usher Goat
categories: Funny, Music, Videos

Finally, R&B is tolerable. Thank you barnyard animal.

More Interspecies Animal Friends

Sure, if a dog sneaks into an orangutan sanctuary people use terms like “heart-warming” and “touching”, but when I break into the orangutan sanctuary all I hear is “not you again”, “where are your pants?”, and of course the familiar sound of a twelve gauge being cocked.

The Craziest Animal Friends

If there’s one thing people love, it’s money. Woah, that’s not what I meant to say. I meant porn. Ah! No, no, no… What I really meant was people love stories about animals making friends with other kinds of animals and lots of cute pictures of them hanging out together. And why? Honestly I’m not really sure. But here you go anyway.

Star Wars: The Phantom Menace – A Review (Part 1)
categories: Funny, Geeky, Videos

For the next seven days I will be posting a segment from this hilarious, ultimate review of The Phantom Menace. It’s a Christmas miracle!

Oh, and don’t go peeking ahead. You’ll just spoil your supper.

How to Suffer Severe Head Trauma
categories: Crazy, Videos

Gay Wilkinson is really trying hard to dispel the rumors about his sexual orientation.

Autotune the All the Scientists
categories: Geeky, Music, Videos

The amazing follow up to the already amazing Carl Sagan – A Glorious Dawn music video. Download the MP3s at The Symphony of Science.

Schwarzenegger Dumbbell Location System
categories: Funny, Videos

Governor Schwarzenegger has an uncanny ability to find dumbbells, even in the burned out ruins of houses.

Stephen Colbert Acts Out Nuclear Explosion
categories: Funny, Videos

Finally, once and for all, Stephen Colbert has proven that nuclear bombs are awesome.

categories: Games

Ah, riding a bike with no pants. I can think of nothing more pleasurable, except for perhaps chasing butterflies though a summer field, with no pants.

Bridge Over Troubled Water
categories: Crazy, Videos

Now I have a place I will never go in my car as well.

SAS: Zombie Assault
categories: Games

When I first read the title of this game I assumed they meant Sass! Zombie Assault, and that all the characters would be… uh.. doing whatever sassy people do. But it gave me the idea that we should have a little game and try to come up with what we think SAS means. First person to give the correct answer is a moron.

Big Ad
categories: Funny, Videos

A big ad. There’s not much more I can say. Just watch it. (By the way, this is also a very LOUD ad, you may want to lower your volume before it starts).

Hair is the Hat
categories: Funny, Pics

…he came up with the idea after some of his friends decided to wear hats to a party but he could not find one to wear. “Mi an dem fi go a di party but di three of them had caps an’ mi had none so mi get two mirror one behind mi and di other in front of mi an’ mi trim mi hair like a cap an’ go a di dance,” said Housen. Nuff’ said.

Comments baby, comments.
categories: Misc

The comments feature for the site has been enabled. Now you can say whatever you want behind the anonymous shield of daddy internet. Let us know how brilliant you are! Start fights with strangers because you’re bored and you think you’re better than them! Let loose all the hate and aggression that is bottled up inside your tiny black heart! Let the good times roll!

The Million Dollar Homepage
categories: Geeky

Mr. Tew, a 21-year-old student from England, created the home page and divided the screen into 10,000 small squares of 100 pixels each. His plan was to sell the squares to advertisers at a price of $1 per pixel. He is currently $644,600 towards his goal.

I like to call it ‘The Wall of Spam’. But that’s probably because I’m jealous.

Outage, Downage, Rockage.
categories: Misc

We’re going to be upgrading our server, so the site will probably be down for a while at some point during the next couple of days.

The Badger Song

If you have been in a coma for the past few years, you may have missed the Badger Song when it first appeared on the internet. If that is the case, I have come to your rescue like the great hero I am!
Badge badger badger
Mushroom mushroom!

Flash Animation Fights Back
categories: Art, Videos

Gary Slossen was in the process of creating another mediocre Flash animation when suddenly, and completely inexplicably, the animation came to life and tried to escape the confines of his monitor! Did Gary manage to destroy the animated horror, or was he devoured alive? Watch and find out.

Where the Hell is Matt?
categories: Geeky, Videos

Three years ago Matt from Connecticut quit his day job and decided to travel the world. The result is a video of him doing a cute little dance in every corner of the globe. For maximum depression, this video is best watched from your cubicle at work.

categories: Misc

Sorry for the site being MIA the past couple days. Things have been going really well lately, and to celebrate I whipped down my pants and urinated all over the server. That, as it turned out, was not a good idea.

Here It Goes Again
categories: Music, Videos

I have to admit that I don’t care for this video at all. I wasn’t even going to post this, but then everyone started talking about it and I even heard it mentioned on the radio. “It must be good, and I probably have no taste” I thought, so here you go!

Server’s Moving
categories: Misc

We’re going to be moving over to a new server this weekend, so don’t be alarmed if the site doesn’t work at some point. The comments will probably be locked Friday evening and throughout the weekend to prevent us from losing any during the switch. Technically the migration should be transparent, but technically no human’s beauty should rival that of a greek god’s, and, well… here I am.

Cats: Not entirely unpleasant
categories: Funny, Videos

An oldie but a goodie. If cats spent more time doing stuff like this and less time barfing in my shoes and trying to scratch out my eyes, I would like them a lot more.

Bullet Time Ping Pong
categories: Art, Videos

Even after you realize what’s going on, it still manages to be entertaining.

Nortel’s Call Command
categories: Games

Oh noes! You’re the switchboard operator at a hugely important company, and the phones are ringing off the hook! And because your boss didn’t purchase Nortel’s Business Communication System, you’re pretty much going to have to cut off your eyelids just to make it through the day. BLINKING IS FAILURE.

categories: Geeky

FileSwap is in the same vein as SketchSwap. Upload a file and receive a random file in return. Will it be porn or will it be a virus? Will you get fired for masturbating at work, or for taking down the corporate network? It’s always an adventure with FileSwap!

categories: Games

Here’s another avoider-esque game, but with a twist: all of the events in the game are synchronized to the music. So for the proper effect you should have your speakers on. Although if you don’t have any, it might not be a bad thing as I guarantee the music in this game will make you want to kill puppies.

Server Move
categories: Misc

This weekend we are moving the site over to a new server, and subsequently a lot of site features will be disabled (commenting, submitting highscores, etc). Hopefully you’ll soon see a comment from me on this post and that will mean you’re viewing the site on the new server. Benefits of the new machine will include faster load times, a more handsome webmaster, and free backrubs.

categories: Games

I’m not sure that this game is any good or not, but damned if it isn’t the most relaxing thing I’ve ever played. The sounds are really gentle, and even the enemies are all slow and laid back. They’re like, “Chill dude, we’re coming to get you, we’re just gonna grab some lunch first; haven’t eaten all day mon amigo!”

categories: Games

This game is, as the French say, ‘wickedly awesome’. The performance can be pretty bad, so before starting I recommend you go into the game’s configuration menu and turn motion blur and FPS Stability to OFF. Then tape a LEAVE ME ALONE note to the back of your head because you’ve got places to be (your computer) and people to see (zombies).

categories: Misc

Okay fruitcakes, we’ve put up some forums. If you have a Littlegrey Network account (those are the accounts you use for this site) it will already work with the forums. So drop by, introduce yourself, and start tormenting each other. That’s what forums are for, right?

Aggressive Alpine Skiing
categories: Games

Aggressive Alpine Skiing mixes guns, skiing, radical jumps and an original soundtrack reminiscent of bad European techno. Awesome!

N Ninja
categories: Games

Although this game is fantastically cool, I cannot help but think of how much cooler it would be if these talented game developers had made it about a pirate and not a ninja. Instead of lasers there would be cannonballs, and instead of all this silly jumping there would be swashbuckling. And there would also be ale, and a parrot, and eyepatches. I think I’ve made my point.

Building Houses 2
categories: Games

There’s only one thing you need to build a house, and that one thing is your brain. Wood, nails, hammers, ladders, all that stuff is for wussies. You just need your brain and maybe some large yellow cubes. Your house will suck, and you’ll die if you live in it, but that’s still all you need!

VR Defender Y3k
categories: Games

If you’ve ever wondered how a computer virus attacks a network, this game is actually a 100% accurate simulation of how it is done. Although in real life the ice cannons are not quite as poweful, and the flamethrower has a slightly wider attack angle but with less range.

Gamma Bros.
categories: Games

One step up on the neo-retro evolutionary scale from Dot Action 2!, comes the pixelriffic Gamma Bros. A story of two brothers and… I’m not sure actually, seeing as there’s no story. Let’s just say they’re looking for their lost parents. Space parents. And there’s an evil villain. Probably a giant space cat.

Ant City
categories: Games

This isn’t really a game per se, but it does recreate those halcyon moments of burning ants with a magnifying glass, and all without any of that nagging guilt afterwards.

categories: Games

The greatest minds in computer science have banded together to create a revolutionary new gaming experience. And if anyone knows anything about it, let me know. In the mean time here’s a game featuring some triangles and circles that makes you hate your hands.

Server Troubles
categories: Misc

We’re finally back, and now running on a brand new server! It took a little longer than expected, partly because the first thing I did when I got it was pour maple syrup into the fan intake (I thought it would be delicious, but it was not). There will still be a few disabled features but everything should be back to normal by the end of the weekend.

Rejected Wii Play Minigames
categories: Funny, Videos

Nintendo deemed these games inappropriate for their target Wii Play audience, so we were stuck with Fishing, and Table Tennis. It’s a real shame, because WiiPii looks like fun.

categories: Games

In this game you have to try and save Sir Whitey McBlockster from a deadly pool of rising lava. It takes a combination of luck, strategy, and patience to do well, but with practice you can actually get some pretty high scores.

You’re not going to let me keep that gold, are you?

Leading Edge
categories: Games

The time has come again my friends. It’s time to whoop some stickman ass. These dudes went and shot down the Chickencopter! Nobody shoots down the Chickencopter and gets away with it.

Oh, the Huge Manatee!

Today I am pleased to announce the launch of our very first Dig Your Own Grave exclusive game. And let me tell you, I couldn’t be more excited. The game features some of my most favorite things in the world, including guns, giant explosions, advanced force-field technology, and of course, shooting endangered manatees.

Chasing Wabbits
categories: Cute, Funny, Videos

Who do you think this little rascal is chasing down in his dream? I bet it’s a dandelion field full of fluffy bunnies. But I’ll tell you why he should really be running… because I’m after him, and when I catch him I’m going to zurbert that pink little belly of his. It’s all part of my tough love program.

Private: Squarez
Comments Off on Private: Squarez
categories: Games, Multiplayer

All Dig Your OwnGrave Multiplayer Games are currently undergoing public beta testing. Please look at the Dig Your Own Grave Multiplayer Games forum thread for more information, and to report bugs or ask questions.

Private: Pente
Comments Off on Private: Pente
categories: Games, Multiplayer

All Dig Your OwnGrave Multiplayer Games are currently undergoing public beta testing. Please look at the Dig Your Own Grave Multiplayer Games forum thread for more information, and to report bugs or ask questions.

categories: Misc

The ability to set Dig Your Own Grave Favorites has now been added to your accounts. To add or remove a post from your favorites, click the little heart in the titlebar of the post. To view your favorites, click the ‘Favorites’ link at the top of the site. Today’s post will take you to my own set of favorites from over the years. Enjoy!

categories: Games

This is a 2D version of Valve Software’s innovative game Portal. The goal of the game is to use the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device to complete a series of increasingly difficult room puzzles, all so that you can eat some delicious cake and listen to the crazy Portal song until you throw-up.

Left Brain vs. Right Brain Test
categories: Geeky

If you look at the animation after the link and see a girl spinning clockwise, then you are a ‘right-brain thinker’ (creative). If you see a girl spinning counter-clockwise, then you are a ‘left-brain thinker’ (logical). If all you see is a set of boobies, then you are ‘male, likely between the age of 13 and 65’.

Vector Runner

That’s right folks. It’s time for another Dig Your Own Grave exclusive game. I know! It’s totally crazy. We’re pooping these things out like we just ate them for breakfast. This game features some old-skool 3D vector graphics, and a pace so fast that we can actually 100% guarantee you’ll have a stroke. Enjoy!
UPDATE: Now available – Vector Runner iPhone!

Age of War
categories: Games

The directions for this game are a bit complicated, so read carefully: CLUB SMASH, CLUB SMASH HEAD. SMASH GOOD. Spacebar will pause the game, and SMASH GOOD, OG LOVE SMASH.

categories: Music, Videos


Let’s Have Some Phun
categories: Games, Geeky

Phun is a free, downloadable 2D physics sandbox. You can do pretty much anything in it. I was actually able to model Einstein’s Theory of Relativity and send a crudely drawn square back in time to kill it’s own parents, thereby erasing itself from existence. Either that or I pressed the undo button, I’m not sure. Video of Phun-in-action after the jump.

You just shot your friend!
categories: Games

Shooting your friends really isn’t such a big deal. Especially if they’re jerks.

categories: Games

This is definitely one of the neatest games I’ve seen so far this year. And as an added bonus, if you make enough bumps it actually starts to look a little like my abs.

World Defense
categories: Games

Hey, I could have sworn just a second ago this game was about a redneck upgrading his trailer? And not an epic battle to defend the earth from incoming asteroids. Someone must have put peyote in my coffee again…

The World’s Hardest Game
categories: Games

I can neither confirm nor deny that this is the world’s hardest game, simply because I cannot get past the first level.

Damn Birds
categories: Games

It should come as a shock to no one that the creator of today’s game is this guy.

Music Bounce
categories: Games

This is kind of like the anti-Guitar Hero. Lots of work involved, and even when you get it right it still sounds wrong. Good times my friends. Good times.

Canyon Shooter
categories: Games

This one is just like that movie Drop Zone, except instead of Gary Busey the lead villain is a 15-foot tall electric fan.

A Quest For Every Beard Type
categories: Funny, Pics

Jon Dyer is on a quest to grow every facial hair type on this list. Now that’s the kind of life purpose I can go for. Forget enlightenment, or even happiness – I’m gonna grow myself an Anchor.

Liquid Metal
categories: Geeky, Videos

Oh sure, it’s cool now, but just wait until it forms a giant solid metal spear and stabs you in the throat.

categories: Games

See that guy on the left? That’s your enemy. Now I don’t know about you, but if I looked like that I would chew off my own leg and use it to beat every living thing within eyesight into a coma. Be glad you’ve got that chain mail armor, my friends.

Sling Jumper 2
categories: Games

Since what I wrote for the last Sling Jumper post confused so many people, this is actually the perfect opportunity for me to try and clarify. 1) Some folks call it a slingblade, Karl calls it a kaiserblade. 2) Karl likes french fried pertaters.

Consider yourself schooled.

Pandemic II
categories: Games

I’ve got a fever, and the only prescription is:

a) coated 200 mg Advil tablets.
b) more cowbell.
c) raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens.

Dolphin Cup
categories: Games

You thought I was kidding about Fish Week didn’t you? Honestly I had my doubts as well, but I tell you – it doesn’t matter how crazy your dream is, with a little elbow grease and some help from your friends, anything is possible. Especially if one of your friends is the baby Jesus.

Battle Fish
categories: Games

Looking at today’s thumbnail, two questions may spring to mind: 1) is it Dig Your Own Grave Fish Week or something? And 2) is that goldfish swinging a mace? The answers to your questions are 1) I’m thinking about it and 2) hell yes.

World’s Hardest Game 2
categories: Games

Doesn’t the existence of this game contradict the very existence of it’s predecessor? I’m not sure the space-time continuum can handle these shenanigans. It’s like it just went back in time and killed it’s own mother for god’s sake.

Gunmaster Onslaught 2
categories: Games

Puzzles are great and all, but I understand that some days you just want to get your shoot on.

The Anti-Helium
categories: Geeky, Videos

Everyone knows that inhaling helium will cause your voice to become very high. Inhaling sulfur hexafluoride on the other hand, will turn you into a demon. No, I’m serious. You literally turn into a demon.

Large Hadron Collider Webcam
categories: Geeky, Pics

CERN switched on the LHC yesterday (September 10th, 2008) at 10:28 AM local time, and to prove to all those wackos that a black hole isn’t going to form and suck in the planet, they’ve setup some webcams so people can watch what’s going on in the facility.

Stealthy Cat
categories: Crazy, Cute, Videos

If ever a cat was going to kill you during the night, it would be this one.

Fantastic Contraption
categories: Games

While you’re wasting your time building little machines that make the pink thing go into the other pink thing, I will be using the the tools in this game to construct the ultimate virtual girlfriend. She’ll have the most beautiful eyes and be my intellectual equal in every way. Plus branches for arms and wheels for legs.

categories: Games

Best. Screenshot. Evaaaaaaaar, folks.

The Heist
categories: Games

In the future as I see it, cars will still be cars, except instead of steering wheels and pedals, there will just be a giant set of WASD keys on the dashboard. Also, the engine will be powered by urine.

Dog Fight II
categories: Games

It is a well documented fact that decorated World War II Air Chief Marshal Sir Foxley Neilson, refused to wear pants while flying missions on Wednesdays. Henceforth, Wednesdays have been commonly referred to as “Nopantsdays”, and only jerks wear pants on this, the most sacred of all weekdays.

Body Ladder
categories: Games

Well here I was thinking this was a Halloween game, but turns out those aren’t piles of zombies – they’re piles of clones. I suck. Halloween is ruined.

categories: Games

Finally, a little game for the Emo in all of us.

The irRegularGame of Life
categories: Games

Having been a keen student of evolutionary algorithms during my academic years, I was able to really apprecia… wait, what? No, I’m serious. I did! What, have I ever lied to you guys?

Grandma’s Dead: Breaking Bad News with Baby Animals
categories: Cute, Funny

This hilarious book of bad news postcards is the perfect gift for that special someone in your life that is afraid of confrontations. Now they can use cute and cuddly animals to deliver bad news like, I’m sleeping with your wife, and It’s not you, it’s me.

QWOP Olympics
categories: Games

It’s like the Special Olympics for your fingers.

Happy Ferret Song
categories: Funny, Music, Videos

From the creators of Charlie the Unicorn and Detective Mittens, comes a really sadistic ferret.

Lucky Coins

Your wildest Plinko fantasies have just come true.

Evolution Squared
categories: Games

Personally I was hoping to evolve an extra eyeball or maybe a second head, but I guess a monocle is pretty cool too. Chicks love monocles.

Ultimate Crab Battle
categories: Games

I had my own real life ultimate crab battle once. Actually it wasn’t that bad, you just get this special shampoo and it clears it right up.

Don’t Your Pants
categories: Games

Remember that time you had Taco Bell and then had to find a bathroom really (really really) quickly? This game picks up where that fateful afternoon left off.

PS: Contains NSFW language. Lots of it.

Death vs Monstars
categories: Games

The most annoying thing about monstars is that they’re scary and occupy valuable closet space. The most annoying thing about Death is that he’s always trying to end my life and sometimes he forgets to flush. So Death wins this round in my books.

The Great Sperm Race
categories: Games

So, the game is good and all but… what exactly am I looking at here? Are those little guys the storks? I fully understand the process of human procreation – it starts with kissing and ends with a room full of babies, but I’m a little hazy on the in between details.

Survival Lab
categories: Games

My concept of lab survival is nothing more than protecting my beautiful face from all the deadly acid and possible explosions. Male supermodel and facial burns do not a good sandwich make.

Robot Dinosaurs
categories: Games

The Cylons were created by Dinosaurs. They rebelled. They evolved. They look – and feel – Dinosaur. Some are programmed to think they are Dinosaur. There are many copies. And they have a plan.

Charlie the Unicorn 3: Unicorns in Time
categories: Funny, Videos

Can Charlie save the future, all the while declining the advances of a particularly possessive starfish?

Hat Wearing Llamas
categories: Funny, Videos

There are two things wrong with Karl. Try and guess what they are. (Hint: It’s not his hat.)

Do you like fishsticks?

Kanye West realizes what he really is, and goes home to the sea.

Photoshop Disasters
categories: Funny, Pics

When the world of professional photo retouching meets the world of everyday incompetence, only good things can happen. You have to dig through some of the posts to find the real gems, but they’re in there.

Flash Toy 4th : Destructionism-2
categories: Games

With a title like that, this game needs no description.

I Hate Traffic
categories: Games

I also hate drama, pants, cold fingers, and smelly towels.

I Love Traffic
categories: Games

Do you know what else I love? Papercuts. I love them.

Sneak Peek: Xaat Disi
categories: Games

Teale Fristoe, the man and the magic behind Arachnophilia, is hard at work on a new game called Xaat Disi: The Salmon Run Game. Today we’re offering you a special 2 level sneak peek. You may see a short survey after you play – filling it out will help Teale make the game better, and help me deal with these painful foot bunions.

Palisade Guardian
categories: Games

A popular corollary to Godwin’s Law states that anyone who uses a Nazi comparison in an internet argument automatically loses said argument. A less popular corollary to Godwin’s Law (created by me) states that anyone who plays a flash game involving Nazis is a douche. So go ahead and click the link McDouche.

Everything is Better in Slow Motion
categories: Geeky, Videos

I eat Jell-O in slow motion every chance I get. Nom… nom… nom.

Monday to Friday Plane
categories: Funny, Videos

In the same vein as the Big Lebowski television edit, we have Snakes on a Plane as made safe for TV audiences. Why do they even bother showing these movies?

They tried to make me go to rehab
categories: Cute, Videos

I said ear flap, ear flap, ear flap.

Happy Memorial Day
categories: Games

I know you guys love the achievements, so I spent the weekend adding some to a few of the older games: Pickies, Boomstick, Ninja Glove, and I added a hard achievement to Cargo Bridge. Now… just to be clear that’s not all I did this weekend. I also watched some Friends reruns. And cried. There was lots of crying.

Engage! Yourself for Entertainment

Captain Picard delights and educates with song.

Cheeseburger in a Can – Revealed!

A little over one year ago, we broke the story on a bizarre feat of German engineering – Cheeseburger in a Can. After much debate over the actual appearance and palitability as described in the catalog, our loyal European reader Nika offered to hunt down the elusive hiker’s meal and answer all of our burning questions. These are her discoveries.

Meme Scenery
categories: Geeky

Can you recognize the Internet meme with all of the famous players removed and just the background left? on CNN
categories: Crazy, Videos

There’s a what going on in Ira… wah?

Upgrade Complete!
categories: Games

Hey, you know what else is complete? YOUR FAILURE TO PLEASE ME. Guys, it is already 2 days into summer and I have yet to receive a fruit basket.

Vector Effect
categories: Games

This game is purdy, unlike your comments, which will still be plain and anonymous looking because I haven’t fixed that bug yet. I’d get to it sooner, but this lack of fruit baskets is really affecting my productivity.

Friendly Fire: Blood and Gore
categories: Games

A little tip for the guys out there, there is nothing – nothing – better for picking up chicks than a monocle. A monocle says a) I’m rich, b) I’m smart, and c) I’m so off my ass crazy that I will stalk you and boil your pets alive if you don’t love me forever so don’t even humor the idea of rejection.

categories: Games
Distracted Driving Test
categories: Games

Texting while driving? Can anyone actually do that? My hands are way too busy flipping people off and putting on eyeliner.

Solar Eclipse From Space
categories: Geeky, Pics

A solar eclipse doesn’t look so world ending when viewed from space.

Vortex Cannon

I don’t want to nitpick, but I would assume the 3rd Little Pig used mortar when building his brick house. Also, I don’t think the Three Little Pigs counts as a legend.

Kitten Mittens
categories: Funny, Videos

(Mild) Animal (cat) cruelty is hilarious.

All Her Clothes Fall Off
categories: Funny, Videos

Patrick Stewart’s seen everything.

To deny that is to deny your very soul.
categories: Funny, Videos

Note to self: That is one crazy, crazy bitch.

I Just Twoted
categories: Funny, Videos

Twitter: For friendless narcissists.

The Monster Shredder Will Shred Your Dreams
categories: Crazy, Videos

That will be immediately before it shreds your legs.

Vox Populi Vox Dei
categories: Games

Werewolves are nothing to be afraid of, just think of them as really grumpy furries. If you trap them in a room with internet access they’ll be quite happy using the time to update their LiveJournal page instead of eating you.

Om Nom Nom
categories: Cute, Videos

Kitten: “Yum yum yum, this food is delicious.”

Star Trek: Emergency
categories: Geeky, Videos

My favorite episode was the one where the Andy Dick hologram acted all scared and fruity.

categories: Games

There better be a talking dog after level 12. And it better frickin’ love me even though it just met me.

Vector Conflict: The Siege

I know you guys think I spend all my time oil wrestling supermodels and saving forest animals from the California wildfires, but honestly that’s only about 95% of my day. The other 5% I spend making terrific games like this one. It’s sort of a retro post-apocalyptic shooter with – UH OH GISELE HAS ME IN AN ARMBAR BRB

Quagmire Discovers Internet Porn
categories: Funny, Videos

Some things are better left unknown.

Memoir: Text Adventure
categories: Games

Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a big television, Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players, and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance. Choose fixed- interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends.

Ninja Cat 2: The Return
categories: Cute, Videos

So that’s how he does it.

Vote for Vector Conflict – THE FINAL ROUND!
categories: Misc

Huzzah! Vector Conflict: The Siege has made it to the final round of the 2BeeGames Indie Game Competition. The winner is chosen by votes, so if you love me then click this post and vote for Vector Conflict in the poll on the right hand side (under the blue VOTE HERE! banner). The winning game could be ported to a console! (PS: If you voted last week you can vote again now!)

The Box Parody
categories: Funny, Videos

If you view this video, someone, somewhere in the world who you don’t know, will die.

Double Wires
categories: Games

This is one of those games that the more I play, the worse I get. And that makes me want to play it more, which makes me suck at it even harder. It’s a vicious cycle, and it will end with me naked, crying, and possibly in the wrong apartment. 66.13 was my best, but that was many games ago…

Tower of Greed
categories: Games

Are those gems in my pockets? Gosh no, I’m just happy to see you. Very happy. Alright you got me, those are gems.

The Great War of Prefectures
categories: Games

This is supposed to be a game about Japan, but I’ve been playing it for at least a half hour now and I still haven’t seen any aliens with morning wood or cats with droopy ears. Therefore, not Japanese.

Electro Gypsy
categories: Music, Videos

If you love trousers made of leather, or just not wearing any trousers at all, you’ll love this song. Yama yama ha.

categories: Games

That’s not a knife, this is a… holy crap, wait that is a knife.

Super Crazy Guitar Maniac Deluxe 3
categories: Games

The story is that people enjoy playing Guitar Hero because it makes them feel like they can actually play the guitar. So does that mean that people enjoy playing this game because it makes them feel like their parents actually love them enough to buy them Guitar Hero?

Game Achievments
categories: Games

Good news OCDers, today we’ve launched a new feature that lets you earn shiny achievements for your profile by playing Dig Your Own Grave games. So get to it! Anyone who doesn’t have them all by the end of the week is, as the French would say, une odeur de cochon avec de petites testicules.

Weiner Dog Song

Weiner dog… weiner dog? Weiner dog! Weiner dog weiner dog weiner dog.


Touch the Rainbow
categories: Funny, Videos

Tim, like King Midas from Greek mythology, has an amazing power that is both a gift and a curse. I bet he’s tired of eating Skittles.

Music Catch
categories: Games

Sit back, relax, and enjoy the soothing stylings of Music Catch. Enjoy it for hours with a warm cup of herbal tea and feel all your tensions slowly melt awa.. OH GOD THE BABY HAS CRAWLED OFF THE BALCONY

Arachnophilia: The Spider Web Game

Tired of boring, predictable games? Has the same-old-same-old got you down? Well rejoice, for the next Dig Your Own Grave exclusive has arrived! I am so here for you fruitcakes. I am your pusher. I am your fat sweaty sugar daddy. I am the cushion for your pushin. I… might have crossed the line with that last one.