Peter sings Cleveland a song to comfort him after his wife had an affair and subsequently left him.

It’s a good thing he plugged his nose. I hate getting concrete up my nose. It burns! (animated gif)

If I could perform this magic trick I would use it for one purpose only: scaring small children. That girl DOES deserve a gold medal.

Characters from Halo explain the difference between real life and the internet. It’s quite accurate I think. It’s also pretty funny, primarily due to excessive use of the word ‘masturbate’.

Probably definitely the creepiest commercial you will ever see. Unless you’re normally into hairy beard snakes?

In the spring of 1999, the Family Learning Channel commissioned animator Don Hertzfeldt to produce promotional segments for their network. The cartoons were completed in five weeks. The Family Learning Channel rejected all of them upon review, and they were never aired…

A little something for the cat-lovers. And the Hitler-lovers.

I have no idea whether this is real, but I’m definitely not going to be playing online poker for money anytime soon. Do you play? Is it everything you dreamed it could be?

If this game was about falling puppies I would master it. I would play it until I could play it forever without letting a single adorable little puppy die. It is all I would do until the end of time. Kittens… meh.

This video is proof that everything can be improved with fire- tubas, fat guys…

This Maury Povich guest is really afriad of penises… I mean pickles.

It’s just like Risk, only faster and funner. And you don’t have to talk to people. And I can’t stop playing it. Every time another side takes over one of my areas my rage is so great I want to rip their dice right out of the computer monitor and devour them. And every time my dice win I want to hug them and squeeze them until they explode! Such joy!

Here is a handy little test you can use to find out if you are a psychopath. I’m glad I found it because my last test totally wasn’t working. I was supposed to count the number of people I’d bludgeoned to death with a rolling pin in the past week, divide the number by 3, and then kill 2 neighborhood cats. This test makes way more sense!

The sheep market is a collection of 10,000 sheep created by workers on Amazon’s Mechanical Turk. Each worker was paid $.02 (US) to “draw a sheep facing left.”

It all makes perfect sense once you look at the site. Perfect nonsense.

Normally I would never consider having bolts installed in my nose, or anywhere else on my body for that matter, but this made me consider it until I remembered just how lazy I am. Hooray status quo!

Remember those spinning things in the playgrounds of your youth? Those joyful times you spent spinning around as fast as your little legs could push you. Well, it turns out you shouldn’t spin them really really fast.

Life is full of nasty surprises. Nobody wants a lizard to jump on them. Nobody. But if a lizard does jump on you, you need to know how to handle the situation properly and in a way that will impress the ladies. This guy can show you how its done.

When I found this I thought it would be, you know, a Flash-based drum machine. It turned out to be something entirely more awesome… and much less interactive.

Pretend like a terrorist, and smoke yourself out of a hole with these nifty missile balloon car accessories. Never has Freedom and Democracy been so much fun!

I hate telemarketers, but not as much as this woman hates them. She also hates taking her medication.

Answer: a frozen icy tundra filled with voluptuous blonde vixens, and home to caterpillars that will encase you in webbing if you stand still for longer than one minute.

Question: What is Sweden?

I have to admit that I don’t care for this video at all. I wasn’t even going to post this, but then everyone started talking about it and I even heard it mentioned on the radio. “It must be good, and I probably have no taste” I thought, so here you go!

Wake up silly sleepy-heads! Charlie’s going to Candy Mountain, a land of sweets and joy and joyness. It’ll be an adventure!

A cat’s natural inclination when being man-handled is to claw out the eyes of its man-handler. By comparison, a dead cat’s natural inclination is to remain dead. Ergo this cat is dead… or is it?

My record for the most t-shirts worn at once has fallen, and these guys beat me by 119 shirts. I hear the largest shirts they used were 8XXL which means some people are really really fat.

I have never played World of Warcraft, nor have I ever seen it outside of a video, but I still enjoyed this. The battle cry of the eager young paladin shall never leave me.

Janice!

It has been discovered that a common insomnia medication known by the commercial name Ambien, can wake up people who are in a persistent vegetative state. They regain conciousness and can communicate. Areas of the brain that were thought to be dead become active once again, and 60% of patients given the drug have shown improvement. Don’t pull the plug.

Even after you realize what’s going on, it still manages to be entertaining.

In yet another shameless affront to Western Civilization, the Japanese have gone and genetically engineered crows that are smarter than us. Actually, not to split hairs but I should really change that to ’smarter than you’. No bird is smarter than this webmaster.

An animation about the joys of multiple homicide and apartment living.

Put aside your feelings about mice and help this little rodent stuff his belly with mountains of delicious cheese! I’m just going to leave my highscore in the comments. If I wrote it right up here the demoralizing wave that would blast out of your computer when you read it would probably kill you.

Does it make me a bad person if I laugh out loud every time I watch this? No? Okay, good. So what about if it turns me on? Not that it does or anything, but that’s no big deal right?

I’m sure you’ve all seen at least one stick figure fighting video before, but this one is done really well and has a few surprises up its sleeve.

You might think that because this game is called ‘Red’ that it has something to do with Communism. And you would be absolutely right. I base that statement on nothing other than extreme paranoia and what some have called a ‘wild, dangerous’ imagination. Use your breast-shaped turret to blast those commie rocks back into the potato fields of Mother Russia. Freedom and Democracy are counting on you!

Science teacher Gary Weddle says he won’t shave his beard until Osama Bin Laden is caught and brought to justice, Texas style! Is that so Mr. Weddle? Or should I say Mr. Bin Laden? That’s right, I’m on to you!

I like to think that DYOG readers are a fairly classy bunch, so this video is probably not necessary. I am mainly putting it up here because I thought that the ladies might find it interesting. Hey, something else that the ladies might find interesting: I am devilishly handsome and can bench 350.

In what may be the most awesome physical embodiment of the term ‘too much time on your hands’, I present you with The Great Album Cover Battle. Enjoy, all you old-school rockers. Oh, and a special prize goes to anyone who can identify all of the album covers featured in the video. As usual, the special prize is love.

Hell of Sand is yet another game with no point other than to waste time. It is also an oddly titled game. I would have called it Joy of Relaxing Sand. Make sure you experiment with all of the options at the bottom.

After the success of The Creepy Burger King Guy, the folks at BK Inc. have apparently decided to stick with the ‘bizarre sells burgers’ philosophy. This time, well… just go have a look for yourself. I’m far too busy trying to unhinge my jaw so I can scarf down this delicious (and nutritious) Triple Whopper.

Pictured here are Latte, Hazel, and Cinnamon, in various states of rabbit disapproval. Do you find them amusing? Guess what, they DO NOT approve.

It has come to my attention that some of you are new to the Internet. I thought this video – one of the first on Dig Your Own Grave – would help ease your transition in to this new and exciting world of 24 hour fetish pornography.

I have always been an ardent supporter of the increase in rapidly moving images in our daily lives. I won’t be happy until the logos on everybody’s shirts are spinning and changing colors, and the sidewalks are littered with epileptics. To that end, Philips has created Lumalive, light emitting diodes that can be woven in to fabric.

Forget Lady Sovereign, the future of female hip-hop belongs to this strange lady and her magical golden pants.

After a hard day at work I usually like to de-stress by stripping down and covering my naked body in icy-hot patches. But after watching this video I’ve decided to try a different technique: buying a copy of Roller Coaster Tycoon and inventing hilarious ways to kill computer people.

250,000 rubber balls were released on a street in San Francisco during the filming of this commercial, and what is it for? A television… Stay tuned tomorrow for the even more ridiculous and even more impressive follow-up commercial!

WARNING! There’s a dangerous serial rapist on the loose, and ABC’s Local Channel 7 News is hot on the case! With your help maybe they can finally track down this elusive deviant.

As promised, here is the second Sony Bravia commercial. Instead of thousands of rubber balls, this one involves thousands of gallons of exploding paint! Does it make you want to buy a television?

Sometimes a video comes along that reminds us why we shouldn’t really shoot kittens out of a cannon. This is one of those videos.

Have you ever wondered if all the poop you’ve ever pooped in your entire life could fill a swimming pool? Me too. Thankfully, the answer awaits us in Heaven.

Do you believe in the magic of David Blaine? Watch as he uses his level 7 demon magic on two hapless young men, vaporizes their hold on reality just by blinking, and then leaves them comatose on the pavement. It’s magic. Street magic.

PS: This video contains excessive profanity. Excessive? I meant ‘almost constant’.

They might not be as strong as security bollards, but these still pack a punch. It just goes to show that when a sign tells you not to enter, you should probably do your best to not enter. The last guy also demonstrates why you should always wear your seat belt. Ouch!

If you really hate someone, you can create a JustGotOwned.com site for them, and then send them the link. Remember Steve the non-believer? Well he just got OWN3D! (Note: Some of the OWN3D images are mildly disturbing, and the music is really loud and annoying, but I guess that’s rather the point.)

Oh man, if playing Mozart on empty bottles while rollerblading with skipoles is a good way to pick up the chicks, then this guy is the nizzle one pimizzle, foshizzle!

I am not ashamed to admit that Kiwi! makes me teary-eyed. He’s got the heart of a champion!

This toy is fun for both children and adults, if you catch my drift. *wink wink* *nudge nudge*

Nothing like starting the week off with a little in-nu-en-do. A little sexual innuendo to be exact. That’s what today is all about.

Finally, a practical use for my golden snail costume.

‘Psychic Art’ is the reproduction of one’s inner spirit by drawing, painting, or non-conventional means. I’m sure normally they’re quite expensive to get done, but if you offer to be a volunteer on public access tv you might be able to get a good deal. And your inner spirit might also be a picture of your genitals.

Yet another humorous commercial that you’ve already seen and already hate. This time it’s Christmas themed and includes a homeless man who can’t bite apples.

By now I’m sure you’ve all seen one of those videos where someone has taken pictures of themself in the same position every day for some ludicrous number of days. This video is in that same vein, the only difference being that it’s entertaining.

So the other day this dude sends me a link to the top 10 internet videos of all time. And I was like LOSER, do you know who I am? I AM teh Internet Video Monster. I have like a 512 Kbps DSL cable in my ear going right into my brain that injects a YouTube RSS feed 24/7, yo. But then I forgave him because I had forgotten about this little gem… Rubberman!

Remember that Ocean’s Eleven movie where a group of master thieves simultaneously rob three Las Vegas casinos and net millions of dollars in a single night? Yeah, nothing like this video.

I’ve already shown you that octopuses are masters of disguise, but did you know they are also master escape artists? Clearly no jail could ever hold them. Unless it had solid walls. Yeah, that’d do the trick.

If you’re not familiar with World of Warcraft’s Leeroy Jenkins, then you should take a moment to acquaint yourself with the over-zealous young paladin. If anything this video demonstrates that no matter how inappropriate you act, as long as you shout LEEEEEEEEEEEEROY JENKINS before you do it, it’s totally okay.

Most people are not aware that Casper the Friendly Ghost has a brother named Jasper. Well he does, and let me tell you, Jasper is a douchebag! He used to be such a nice boy…

I can imagine a western-world variation of this game where you have to pick your punishment from the selection of ridiculously translated Japanese titles. For instance, would you opt for the harmless sounding ‘Huge Balloon’, or take your chances with a ‘Bad Smell Air’? But don’t be tempted by ‘Old Man Bites Tenderly’… there’s nothing tender about that old pervert.

This video is really creative, and a lot of people have been talking about it for a while now, so I figured I should post it for the benefit of anyone who hasn’t seen it. Personally though, I have a hard time making it through the whole thing…

I have decided that this, the final week before Christmas, shall be Cute Week. Everyday one post will contain something cute, fuzzy and adorable. To start, one of the cutest animals known to man- floppilus bunninus.

Weeeeeeeeee!!!! OH GOD *boom*

and repeat.

The meerkats in this commercial must have the same disorder as Spudgy the Pomeranian. Come to think of it, I think my next door neighbour also has this problem. That, or alcoholism.

Remember that Dove Evolution commercial? Well… some people with far more intelligence and free time than I will ever have, went and made a clever little parody. And in appreciation of all their hard work I will now burp or possibly pass wind, whichever comes first.

In celebration of the release of the 26th Rocky film, Rocky Balboa, I present to you a cat with the spirit of Rocky! Nothing’s gonna keep him down, and pretty soon he’ll be beating up Russians… or bullies in an amateur karate tournament!

There is a rift in this country. A rift that threatens to tear it apart. A rift that threatens to destroy us all! Of course I’m talking about water bison bigotry.

Everybody hates emo kids, and now you can pass on that completely justified hatred to the little kids in your family with this new toy available at Hot Topic. Tickle Me Emo is the tortured, angst ridden cousin of Elmo, and boy is he sad.

This is by far the funniest scene in the movie Rat Race, and by posting it I just saved you from having to watch the horrible ending where Smash Mouth plays a concert. Honestly, Smash Mouth?

Beloved hyperactive TV muppet, Elmo, lit himself on fire last night to protest the takeover of Sesame Street by what he called “bad men in suits”. He suffered severe burns to most of his body and was taken to be reupholstered.

That handsome little devil is Kuato from the Arnold Schwarzenegger sci-fi movie Total Recall. Kuato is a mutant that lives in the belly of George, an ordinary human. Kuato has great mental and telephatic abilities and is the leader of the group on Mars that is resisting the corporation that runs it. He is also a hopeless romantic.

Not wanting to be outdone by the infamous League of Funny Cats, the world’s canine population has banded together its elite and put them on display in front cameras to win back the unrequited love of the humans. And they have dominated. Dogs rule, cats drool, baby.

I agree with these complaints about Robot Chicken’s portrayal of GoBots completely. GoBots absolutely do not live in houses!

I’ve already posted about a bizarre NASA experiment to see the effects of drugs on spiders by viewing the webs they created. This video is about a similar experiment, brought to you by the good people at Environment Canada.

This is so much like that time on The Simpsons when Homer ricocheted off every car in an icy mountain parking lot, that it’s ridiculous. It’s possibly even more ridiculous than jumping out of a car that is sliding out of control.

I’m not sure how a cat gets to be 40 pounds, but it’s probably similar to how a person ends up weighing 400 pounds – An overabundance of sci-fi television programming, and the magic of the Internet.

It boggles my mind to think about the number of people who would have had to approve this product before it ended up in a store. Still, I can’t help but think of all of them as heroes, for this is truly the most hilarious invention of our time!

Now you too can learn the secret of the Japanese magic. Ohhhhhh. Ahhhhhh.

You may have recently heard about how the residents of Boston turned retarded. It seems they could not tell the difference between a Lite-Brite of the Mooninite Ignignokt from Aqua Teen Hunger Force, and an explosive device. The two men hired to put up the ads have been charged with placing “hoax devices”, and in this press conference they treat the situation with the respect it deserves.

This year, I’m having my taxes done by a cat accountant!

In the animal kingdom, the rabbit is feared more than any other creature.

I’m going to refrain from commenting on what kind of person would buy a shock collar to stop their dog from barking, but if you’re going to do it you should at least have the stones to try testing it on yourself first, like this guy did.

Among the infinite earths of the DC universe, the often overlooked Earth-H was home to two brothers: Barry and Bart Allen, fathered by one Jay Garrick. During their freshman year, they shared a room with a young man by the name of Wally West. Their pet? Tic, the Hamster who Rode the Lightning.

I don’t know what God has against sloths, but this Deadly Sin sure has adorable babies.

Wherever terrorists lurk, Jack Bauer will smoke them out of their holes. He will bring them to justice, Bauer-style. He will demand they lower their weapons, torture them, and then call Chloe on his cell phone. And don’t think that he goes easy on suspects just because they’re family members or famous fast food detectives; no, no. Because Jack Bauer never retreats, he just attacks in the opposite direction.

You just know this guy was feeling pretty confident that he was going to bluff his way out of this situation.

There are three physical laws that bind together the fabric of the universe: 1) for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, 2) Motörhead rules, and 3) you love dolls because you’re a big fat lady.

In a recent interview, Tim Hardaway, one of the NBA’s best point guards in his day, let loose a barrage of shocking homophobic remarks. In a candid and emotional response, George Takei (Star Trek’s Mr. Sulu and gay rights activist), addressed Mr. Hardaway personally.

Break out the scented candles and the WD-40, it’s time for some sweet lovin’. Some sweet robot lovin’.

Last night me and this squirrel hit a party at my friends house and we got like SOOOOOOOOOO wasted on JD and fermented pumpkin juice. The squirrel was licking carpet and talking all this crazy sh*t and I don’t even know cause I was so drunk. I think we hooked up with these smoking hot chicks too. That squirrel is so awesome.

The next time you and all 75 of your friends get together, you should have some fun, Japanese style!

Who do you think this little rascal is chasing down in his dream? I bet it’s a dandelion field full of fluffy bunnies. But I’ll tell you why he should really be running… because I’m after him, and when I catch him I’m going to zurbert that pink little belly of his. It’s all part of my tough love program.

LazyTown is an addictive Icelandic children’s television show that preaches exercise and healthy eating, all to an awesome Vengaboys-esque soundtrack. This song is about baking a cake, because cake is an essential part of any well balanced diet.

Folks, it’s time to take your Xtreme sports pastime to the next level. Leave your parachute at home, but don’t forget a bag of Doritos and a six-pack of Monster Energy Drink. We’re going Cliff Diving. Xtreme Cliff Divingâ„¢.

If you’re a fan of the original Super Mario Bros. game and also a drummer, I recommend that you wait until you get home to watch this video. And don’t be alarmed by that tight feeling in your pants, it’s perfectly natural.

In order to make the film more kid-friendly, Disney drastically changed the tone of Mary Poppins before its initial release. But now, thanks to the newly released director’s cut, you can see it the way Robert Stevenson originally intended.

Don’t get me wrong, I love the Zen-ness of this game as it is, but throw in some swimming zombies and strap an assault weapon to the dolphin’s head and I think we would have Game of the Year.

Okay guys, get close and listen up. Why do you disappoint me? Second by second, you waste my time. I hand you this delightful game and in return you post these embarrassing scores in the low millions. Somebody find whoever did this video and tell him I’m going to adopt him. (thanks Mr. misc.)

Sand Blasters is the Travel Channel’s attempt at making a show about sand sculptures exciting. See, they randomly blow up one of the sculptures… which it turns out is not actually exciting, since none of the sculptors are in the blast zone at the time. But hey, it looks kind of cool, especially in reverse.

Any self respecting metal fan will find this video endlessly entertaining. Any fan of music that is anything but metal will find this video confusing, irritating and viewing may lead to feelings of uncertainty and depression. Fans of Megadeth should not watch this video while drinking hot beverages in front of expensive LCD monitors. You have been sufficiently warned.

Okay fruitcakes, we’ve put up some forums. If you have a Littlegrey Network account (those are the accounts you use for this site) it will already work with the forums. So drop by, introduce yourself, and start tormenting each other. That’s what forums are for, right?

Everyone knows that the most important part of your day is a healthy breakfast, but what a lot of people don’t know is that the most important part of your healthy breakfast is to accompany it with a poop song. And where are you going to find one of those? DYOG, to the rescue again!

Kermit the Frog took the death of his best friend, Jim Henson, incredibly hard, and the resulting depression eventually lead to drug and alcohol abuse. In this not-entirely-safe-for-work cover of Nine Inch Nails’ Hurt, Kermit expresses some of the pain he went through.

This little boy is really concerned with the well-being of his baby brother. I used to throw things at mine.

Apparently sea otters hold hands while resting together so that they don’t float away from each other, but we know the truth. It’s because they’re married.

I hope that despite corporate America’s attempt to swindle us out of the joy of Easter, that you have all had a great holiday weekend none the less. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, watch this video and see what those Cadbury bastards have done to our Easter Creme Eggs. Way to make baby Jesus cry Cadbury!

The SnÅ«zNLÅ«z alarm clock utilizes a rather ingenious method to wake you up in the morning – the fear of separating you from your hard earned money by giving it to an organization that you hate! Every time you hit the snooze button, a donation will be made from your bank account to the hated organization of your choosing.

Who better than the three most articulate Muppets – Beaker, Animal and the Swedish Chef – to sing the beautiful Irish love song Danny Boy?

Working in advertising must be awesome these days. All you have to do is come up with the strangest thing you can imagine, and you’ve got yourself a new Starburst commercial.

Coincidentally, I have my very own set of real life “Indestructotanks”. I call them “my fists”. Get it? My fists. HULK ANGRY! ME SMASH!

Even hobos need a hero, and since Winobot is usually passed out drunk in a dog turd, the responsibility falls upon the alleys’ stinky 007.

David Blaine is using his demon magic to torment the same two guys in this follow up to his first web episode of David Blaine Street Magic.

P.S. This video contains some profanity. Not as much as last time.

Since everyone seemed to enjoy the first Homeless James Bond so much, here’s number two! Is the sequel as good as the original?

I know, I know, this is incredibly cruel. But the music! And the picture! I can’t help but laugh. I’m going to hell aren’t I?

The young couple in this video couldn’t decide on how to decorate their home, so they called upon the experts at Drunk Home Makeover.

Following this link is a demonstration of what goes on in a person’s head while they’re playing a videogame (especially one with jumping puzzles). As such, it is essentially one endless string of profanities and the audio should not be considered safe-for-work. Please, play, and let the hilarity ensue.

I bet it would be a lot faster than this thing, but I’m sure the concept would be the same.

Every country needs a hero. The British have James Bond. The Americans have Jack Bauer. The Canadians have… I’m not sure, maybe some sort of large robotic beaver. And the Phillippines have Agent 00, also known as ‘Weng Weng’. Don’t laugh! He may only be 2 feet 9 inches tall but he’s got a remote controlled razorblade hat for god’s sake!

Don’t get excited by the name you perverts. This game has nothing to do with whipping it out and everything to do with street-fightin’, ass-whoopin’, name-takin’, and bad-spellin’. Do you have what it takes to flash harder and longer than everyone else?

I know how much you guys love your internets, so let this be a lesson to you: don’t let your monster play with your computer.

Meow meow meow
Meow meow meow meow meow
Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow

Mocha the tiny hamster loves broccoli. He loves it so much that his little hamster legs shake with excitement.

The creepy guy from the Starburst Berries & Cream commercial is back, and he’s here to teach you how to tear up the dance floor, little lad style!

Don’t you know it’s weasel stomping day?

This is a police officer. This is drugs. This is a police officer on drugs.

Any questions?

It’s a little known fact that I can shoot as well as this guy… So you all better be nice to me, or I’ll kill you. With bullets. Six bullets.

New Wheels on the Block is the greatest boy band since, well, ever! And they’re not even boys. They’re men! Men with slim legs.

I know how much you kids like those new fangled video games, so I put two and two together and thought you might like this Line Rider map made to look like the first level of Super Mario Bros.

If it weren’t for the fact that the lighting allows the men in the back to be seen too easily, I think this would be more impressive than the ping pong version.

The Cordyceps fungus treats its insect hosts not unlike the Xenomorphs treat their hosts in the Alien films. Cordyceps however, at least has the decency to kill its host before bursting forth from its body.

IM IN UR RECITAL

LOSING MY MIND

I’ll tell you what Pippy is begging for… Pippy’s begging to be cuddled that’s what.

This ******* commercial has inspired me to start up our very own DYOG ******-******* swear jar. Everytime one of you ****-**** fruitcakes swears, you send me a nickel. When it gets to be enough, I’ll use it to pay for prostitutes. ******* genius my friends.

Twenty-two year old Ben Carpenter had the ride of his life after his wheelchair got lodged in the grill of a semi-truck, which pushed him down a highway for four miles at 50 miles per hour. Ben seemed pretty unfazed by the whole thing, unlike Jen, who called 911 to report the strange sight. She should try some meditation.

One step up on the neo-retro evolutionary scale from Dot Action 2!, comes the pixelriffic Gamma Bros. A story of two brothers and… I’m not sure actually, seeing as there’s no story. Let’s just say they’re looking for their lost parents. Space parents. And there’s an evil villain. Probably a giant space cat.

The next time you walk into a Jamba Juice, I want you to stride right up to that counter, stare the puny juice maker in the eye, slam your hand down on the table and demand a Fruity Pebbles smoothie! Then as an encore, go to In-N-Out Burger and get some fries, animal style!

Hey chief, you make body into shapes for extra excitement good times, or you splash in a pool!

Since I know how much you guys love YTMND, here’s the real story behind Ben Carpenter’s wheelchair adventure.

Mr. Perthold attached a small camera around the neck of his pet cat, Mr. Lee, to see where he went and what he did when he disapeared during the day. And it is a magical world of cat friends, secret hiding spots, and (omigosh!) snakes! It’s a world almost as magical as my world of cubicle walls, LCD monitors, fluorescent hum, and… and… *cries*

Here’s yet another creative challenge from a Japanese game show. But you know, I’d rather watch a game show where a creepy bald guy asks people to randomly pick a briefcase that might contain money. The Japanese should create a show like that.

Drunken souls… gosh, such a nuisance. I swear I get the apartment sprayed at least once and month and they still keep coming back.

The New York Times recently did a neat photo essay comparing real-life gamers to their in-game avatars. It’s worth knowing that the next time you’re playing Lineage II and feeling all proud of yourself for chatting up some cute little number in pigtails and a miniskirt, it’s probably just Mr. Bubble-Tea over there.

Baby Galves has a date with a lion, and only you can help him get there. And no, not that kind of date you perverts!

What would a raccoon want with a door mat? Maybe somebody stole his?

Behold, the dancing inmates of CPDRC prison in the Philippines. Why do they dance? Because the music flows through them. They live the music. They breathe it! Also, they’re in prison and pretty bored.

In this classic Saturday Night Live skit, Chris Farley finds himself on a sadistic Japanese game show.

He may not be the bravest of jungle animals, but the Pygmy Marmoset’s self defense mechanism is actually quite effective. After performing the patented ‘peek-a-boo’ tactic, 92% of jungle predators decide to cuddle with the Marmoset rather than eat it.

Oscar the cat, named after the delicious weiner, lives at the dementia unit at the Steere House Nursing And Rehabilitation Centre in Rhode Island, and he seems to have the uncanny ability to predict the death of the residents to within four hours. When someone is going to die, Oscar snuggles up on their bed with them. Obviously there is a logical explanation for this – Oscar is killing the patients.

You still wake up sometimes, don’t you? Wake up in the dark and hear the screaming of the beans?

PS: Who is your favorite bean?

In this strange Japanese game show, contestants have to sit on a pad at the bottom of a tub of really hot water. While they sit on the pad, they gain points, and a woman in a bikini bounces around. I’m not making this up. (Possibly NSFW, due to scantily clad jiggling boobies.)

The prank phone calls Bart Simpson made to Moe’s Tavern (as well as Moe’s responses), are like classic pieces of literature, and should be studied with equal regard alongside the works of Shakespeare and Dickens. These days, thanks to caller-id, many of you will never get to appreciate the beauty of a true prank call.

Nintendo deemed these games inappropriate for their target Wii Play audience, so we were stuck with Fishing, and Table Tennis. It’s a real shame, because WiiPii looks like fun.

This Belgian man really loves penguins. Mere words can not do his love justice, but take how much you love a buttery Chardonnay and multiply it by a million. You’re still not even close. He’s crazy.

“Who’s Ego Leonard?”, “Is he jaundiced?”, “What’s this all about?”, and “Did someone just steal my shoes?”. Those were just some of the questions being asked when a giant Lego man washed ashore on a beach in Zandvoort, Netherlands.

I am so there.

Barry! What are you doing? What is wrong with you? Do not open anything else! What is that? Barry, no!

If David Bowie writes a song about you, you gotta take what you get. His musical genius speaks only one language, and that is the language of truth.

I’m not even sure how to describe this one. It combines the classic song Unchained Melody by the Everly Brothers with standing motionless on a rotating platform, and somehow manages to come up with a game that would actually make me excited to go to a casino.

What is this gorilla doing? Is it masturbating to a Phil Collins song? God I hope not.

In this game you have to try and save Sir Whitey McBlockster from a deadly pool of rising lava. It takes a combination of luck, strategy, and patience to do well, but with practice you can actually get some pretty high scores.

You’re not going to let me keep that gold, are you?

In yet another sign that God loves dogs more than cats, a puppy was born in Odate, Japan with a perfectly shaped heart pattern on his fuzzy little back. Let this be a message to all you cat lovers out there – give up! With God on our side you can’t possibly win the great battle ahead.

Can you solve the mysterious puzzle of Heady Steinberg? There’s a prize if you can! (The prize is hugs and cuddles.)

And now, a dramatic reading of a real breakup letter from a real person.

Those Japanese bastards have done it again. Is nothing sacred to these animals?

If I were a brilliant electrical engineer, I… wait a minute, let me start over… Being one of the world’s most brilliant electrical engineers, I find it silly that people like building robots for fighting. Robots should be created for much more noble purposes, like medical procedures or washing my car.

Scaly man-fish looking for love. Likes drinking creamy Baileys from a shoe, doing watercolors, and the boat times.