The rules of the game are simple enough. Destroy everything in your path in the virtual world, all while destroying your ENTER key in the real world. Make sweet love to the wind, and poop out some tornado babies.

Today’s game is brought to you by the colors red, green, and blue. And by the letter M. And by plasma weapons.

Physics + Balls = Edutainment.

Science has proven that even a Proboscis Monkey can spot the differences between these sets of pictures. You’re smarter than a crazy penis-nosed monkey, aren’t you?

There’s only one thing you need to build a house, and that one thing is your brain. Wood, nails, hammers, ladders, all that stuff is for wussies. You just need your brain and maybe some large yellow cubes. Your house will suck, and you’ll die if you live in it, but that’s still all you need!

This puzzle, like the Jumping Frogs, can only be solved by super geniuses, kids under the age of 14, or people who know how to use Google. So if you’re not in any of those three categories you better not click that link or it will be the last thing you do. UPDATE: before you go insane, read the comments for the ‘solution’.

Folks, get ready to do some arrow key smashin’ and swear-word cussin’, because these rude little SOBs do not want to let you through. By the way, Pushies is another great recommendation from our Forum Fruitcakes. If you’ve got a Dig Your Own Grave account you can jump right in and have your say too!

Pop open the bubbly, it’s time to celebrate! Fans of Boxhead: More Rooms are sure to enjoy ’2Play’, the next installment in the box zombie series. And if you’re lucky enough to have a friend sitting beside you, or perhaps a conjoined twin, then you can also enjoy the new co-op and deathmatch modes!

Okay, everyone all together now:

NNNNNNNNNNnnn… BRAINNNNNNNnnns…

It is a time of great magic and chivalry. You are an über D&D nerd, sitting behind a… oh wait, I mean you are a brave knight, defending your kingdom from the onslaught of the enemy hordes. Your skills with myspace pages are… oh damn, I mean your skills with the bow-and-arrow are legendary. Go forth and defend your kingdom, brave knight!

Don’t ask me how to play because I didn’t bother reading the instructions either. Just make your own pixel monster, press some buttons, and at some point take a screenshot so you can show him off to the rest of us. My guy over there is modelled off of me in that he is very skilled at smashing things but at the same time not nearly as good-looking.

Fans of Bloons will probably enjoy this lovely little game. It won’t give you that strange orgasmic balloon-popping feeling, but the music is so relaxing you may find yourself singing Con Te Partiro to your desk lamp, and I’m not going to lie to you, there might even be some tears.

One sure-fire way to produce a hit game is to take two classic games and merge them into one. But if you want your new game to be extra awesome, then you also need to incorporate pooping. For poop makes everything better – it’s a scientific fact.

Ah, Death by Hinge. Not quite as desirable as Death by Puppies, but still a preferred alternative to Death by Frilled Shark if you ask me.

From across the ocean and directly into your home, it’s Nodes, by Nodey McNodester. Sit back, relax, and enjoy. But don’t poop your pants!

Good news, it’s time to finally put your civil engineering degree to use. Somebody needs you to build the tallest tower in the world, and they don’t care if you use the earthquake building codes as toilet paper. So what are you waiting for? Get off your duff and get into that crane!

This one’s a bit like Unreal Tournament, only without that overrated third dimension. And without limbs either. Those are overrated too.

Cubilus… hmmmmm… I’m not positive, but I think cubilus might be a dirty word. I haven’t seen any in-game kinky behavior yet, but I will continue to play until I get to the goods. (I may have seen a nipple at one point, but it might have just been a heart.)

My favorite part of the game is the way he lies there shivering at the bottom of the stairs. Poor little fella… Somebody give that stickman a cuddle!

I’ll tell you when the suffering will end. It ends when that monkey is lying face-down in a pool of his own blood.

Some people say that violent video games are a bad influence on our children, but I say we should just shoot those people to make them shut up. Try to break the logic in that statement my friends. It’s a little something I like to call absolute brilliance.

If I were a brilliant electrical engineer, I… wait a minute, let me start over… Being one of the world’s most brilliant electrical engineers, I find it silly that people like building robots for fighting. Robots should be created for much more noble purposes, like medical procedures or washing my car.

In this game you have to try and save Sir Whitey McBlockster from a deadly pool of rising lava. It takes a combination of luck, strategy, and patience to do well, but with practice you can actually get some pretty high scores.

You’re not going to let me keep that gold, are you?