It’s said that cats always land on their feet, but I’d say this cat landed on its head.

YOU: Hey, this game is just like the last drunken beer balancing game you put up!
ME: Yes it is.
YOU: You’re an idiot! Your website sucks! You’re gay!

There, I saved you the trouble.

Call me crazy, but I think this kid is drunk!

Hurray, hoorah, it’s another DDR keyboard game. But this one throws in color-matching to infuriate the color blind, and an excruciating soundtrack to lobotomize anyone unfortunate enough to own computer speakers. And why you ask? Because life’s just not hard enough.

I decided that for this year’s Thanksgiving post I would do a Google search for “shoot turkeys and or pilgrims game” and take the first relevant result I could find. And this is it. And it’s also the last time I’m ever going to do that.

New Wheels on the Block is the greatest boy band since, well, ever! And they’re not even boys. They’re men! Men with slim legs.

Last night me and this squirrel hit a party at my friends house and we got like SOOOOOOOOOO wasted on JD and fermented pumpkin juice. The squirrel was licking carpet and talking all this crazy sh*t and I don’t even know cause I was so drunk. I think we hooked up with these smoking hot chicks too. That squirrel is so awesome.

I’ve already posted about a bizarre NASA experiment to see the effects of drugs on spiders by viewing the webs they created. This video is about a similar experiment, brought to you by the good people at Environment Canada.

Everybody hates emo kids, and now you can pass on that completely justified hatred to the little kids in your family with this new toy available at Hot Topic. Tickle Me Emo is the tortured, angst ridden cousin of Elmo, and boy is he sad.

Have you ever wondered if all the poop you’ve ever pooped in your entire life could fill a swimming pool? Me too. Thankfully, the answer awaits us in Heaven.

Do you like today’s eastery rabbit theme? No??? Well maybe I don’t like your grumpy-no-like-anything theme. And you know what else I don’t like? You. Believe it!

Finally a game that takes me back to my roots! Anyone who says they can beat my top average speed of 0.192 seconds will be accused of lying, sentenced to death, executed, reincarnated as a sheep, and promptly tranquilized by me in well under point 2 seconds. I am just that good.

Now that you’ve had all this practice playing Double Wires, you can move on to the more challenging Pendulumeca. The principle is the same but you’ve only got one wire and it’s faster paced. And crappier. Kind of like your score compared to mine. Which was 220m.

Look, I don’t want to scare any of you out there, but zombies are coming to eat your brains, and soon. Like tomorrow. Probably around 3pm. We’re planning on grabbing some Taco Bell first, so we may be a little late. Excuse me, they might be a little late. Heh.

Can you defeat the evil Gingivitis in this rhythm game? With my high score of 51.25%, I’m pretty sure I can’t.

This game brings back such fond holiday memories for me. Every Christams me and my dad used to play a real-life game that was very similar to Sober Santa. My dad would be Santa, only without the santa costume or white beard, and instead of picking up presents he would throw potted plants at me and call me “fairygirl”.

There’s an old saying, “When life gives you lemons, smash those *#$&%s into the ground with the largest club you can find. Fill the streets with their sour citrus blood until not a single one is left whole”. Or… something like that.

Does it make me a bad person if I laugh out loud every time I watch this? No? Okay, good. So what about if it turns me on? Not that it does or anything, but that’s no big deal right?

Question 1: When you guys ask me to put up a game, what do I do? Answer: I put it up. Question 2: Why do I do that? Answer: Because I love you like a fat kid loves cake. Question 3: Why am I so awesome? Answer: Not entirely sure, maybe genetics.

Wake up silly sleepy-heads! Charlie’s going to Candy Mountain, a land of sweets and joy and joyness. It’ll be an adventure!

Cover your mouth, because you’re about to yell “oh s***!”

In this classic Saturday Night Live skit, Chris Farley finds himself on a sadistic Japanese game show.

This makes me wish I had bought an iPhone. I could really use some sideburns.

Barry! What are you doing? What is wrong with you? Do not open anything else! What is that? Barry, no!

This must be some sort of new bunting technique or something. It looks like it worked out well for him.

This is pretty nuts. I can’t stop watching it. It’s like something from a cartoon!

It’s a good thing he plugged his nose. I hate getting concrete up my nose. It burns! (animated gif)

This sort of reminds me of when I was a kid and my dad would pick me up by the arms and swing me around in a circle. Fun stuff. Except usually my dad wouldn’t hurl me into a wall at the end. Also, I’m not a cat.

I like this game because it has three different game modes. And that means I can dominate all of you in three different ways using only a single game. It’s like triple-domination time, baby. Prepare to be dominated. Three times.

Arcade: 47 stars/71.70 secs, Countdown: 106 stars, Sprint: 18.43 secs

Legion of Rock Stars pioneered “Pure Pleasure”, in which the band listens to original recordings of classic rock songs on 30db noise-blocking headsets, and then plays along. Now watch and listen as they obliterate the Danzig classic, ‘Mother’. (NOTE: Danzig fans should empty their bladders fully before watching).