There’s been so much shooting and violence here lately that I thought it might be nice to play a game that’s just all about a little red ball, and drawing with a fat marker, and relaxing clunking sounds, and really really really awful music. Throw in a pork burrito and I’m pretty much in heaven.

Weeeeeeeeee!!!! OH GOD *boom*

and repeat.

One of the oldest and most popular games on Dig Your Own Grave is Cubefield. It’s so simple a two-fingered monkey could play it, but at the same time it’s so fun that you will spontaneously burst into tears of joy while playing it. And, we’ve just set it up with our new High Scores system, so you might want to check that all out before you officially become the lamest lame-o on the block.

If Ragdoll Avalanche and Squares 2 went and had hot, sweaty Flash game intercourse, then Jazzy Ragdoll would be their love child. And as an added challenge to this game, try listening to the music in the opening menu for over 5 minutes without going completely insane. Two games in one! Hurrah!

I was going to post a quote from Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus, but I remembered last time I did that everyone thought I was getting married in two days.

PS: There’s a bug with highscore submission: If you’re playing more than once, refresh the page each time you play if you want your scores to submit.

…fantastic? Handsome? Both? Surely not both.

Fantastically handsome?

Raymond’s seemingly crack-addled exterior belies his incredible Wheel of Fortune acumen.

To get an idea of what playing this game is like on a laptop touchpad, copy the following simple steps:

1) If you are right-handed, place the mouse in your left hand (or vise versa).
2) Wrap the mouse cord around your neck and leap out the nearest window.

This video is actually a favorite of mine from back in the time before I had broadband Internet access. It is the tale of a group of intrepid young video game characters playing Dungeons & Dragons for the first time.

Every once and a while a game comes along that really pushes the limits of… my html layouts. I’m serious, this thing is frickin’ wide.

Patrick Stewart’s seen everything.

Note to self: That is one crazy, crazy bitch.

The Joes were not as cool as you remembered. Destro and Baroness on the other hand…

A little tip for the guys out there, there is nothing – nothing – better for picking up chicks than a monocle. A monocle says a) I’m rich, b) I’m smart, and c) I’m so off my ass crazy that I will stalk you and boil your pets alive if you don’t love me forever so don’t even humor the idea of rejection.

A little over one year ago, we broke the story on a bizarre feat of German engineering – Cheeseburger in a Can. After much debate over the actual appearance and palitability as described in the catalog, our loyal European reader Nika offered to hunt down the elusive hiker’s meal and answer all of our burning questions. These are her discoveries.

The funniest thing ever to be associated with Jimmy Kimmel (excluding Sarah Silverman) is the Nervous Kid.

This game reminds me of the hours days okay fine, weeks I flushed down the pooper playing Civ3 and Dice Wars. The desire for revenge I feel when territory is stolen from me immediately overrides all natural instincts to eat, bathe, blink, and feed the goldfish. Forgive me Bubbles and Lexus! FORGIVE ME!

This dog must have been chasing atomic-super-rabbits.

The ocean is a terrifying place.

That’s it, the moonwalk and synthesizers have convinced me. Bring on the baptismal waters!

If someone shoved a plate full of cupcakes in my face, I’d assume I could eat them too.

Although funny and star-studded, this may have been somewhat more useful before the election.

Make Albert Einstein write whatever you want on the chalkboard of this iconic picture. Will you turn him in to a brilliant botanist, or an uncouth upperclassman?

Okay, I realize yesterday’s game might have been a little too academic for some, so today we’re just going to blow holes in stuff. Blow holes in your knowledge of architecture and geography that is! Huzzah!

Go to futureme.org and write yourself an email to be delivered to you up to 30 years in the future. I already tried it and asked myself how LOST will end, or more specifically what happens if they don’t press the button and will Jack and Kate ever do it, but so far I have not heard back.

It has come to my attention that some of you are new to the Internet. I thought this video – one of the first on Dig Your Own Grave – would help ease your transition in to this new and exciting world of 24 hour fetish pornography.

Ladies and gentlemen, I’d like you to meet Meat Boy. GET IT? You see what I just did there? That is how you roll a pun my friends. Damn! I am good. Okay, nap time.

I could watch this cute-dancing-Japanese-girl clock all day.

Yesterday’s penis pulverizing video was such a crotchtastic success that today we bring you the Trigon commercial boy. Mr. Kicked Him In the Penis. Don’t hate him, he just tells it like it is.

All Dig Your OwnGrave Multiplayer Games are currently undergoing public beta testing. Please look at the Dig Your Own Grave Multiplayer Games forum thread for more information, and to report bugs or ask questions.

All Dig Your OwnGrave Multiplayer Games are currently undergoing public beta testing. Please look at the Dig Your Own Grave Multiplayer Games forum thread for more information, and to report bugs or ask questions.

Best. Screenshot. Evaaaaaaaar, folks.

“Professional” wrestling is hard core, and full of chairs.

You see, Christianity is a lot like a pickle shoved into an electrical socket.

Ghosts aren’t as scary in the light, which is why I have all my rooms bathed in 15-million candlepower spotlights. Incidentally, that’s probably why I can’t see colours anymore.

This is the touching story of a morose young man who eventually comes to appreciate just how much the rain enriches his life.

Why is it that the dominant instinct people have when they get on a motorcycle for the first time, is to gun the throttle and run into something?

Barry! What are you doing? What is wrong with you? Do not open anything else! What is that? Barry, no!

It’s tough for me to decide what I like better, Bejeweled clones, or Poppit clones. It’s kind of like trying to decide between death by fuzzy puppy kisses, or death by Brazilian supermodel kisses. It just depends on my mood.

Take to the gritty streets of Liberty City in the most realistic Nintendo game ever.

Life is hard. It is no wonder people turn to religion in the face of so many unanswered questions. Questions like, what is the deal with this cartoon? And where did it come from? And why do I love it so much?

The only definitive thing I can say about this video is that it does not make me want to eat a steak.

Jake the dog and Pen the human attempt to rescue Princess Bubblegum from the evil Ice King with the help of Princess Bubblegum’s rainacorn.

This game seems almost impossible at first, but once you learn to use the shadow of the ball to help you position your tiles it gets pretty fun. Currently I hold the highscore of 3600, which makes me the Poom-Master, or ‘Poomaster’ for short. Hey, wait a minute…

How could someone so annoying create something so wonderful?

This website goes into exquisite detail on how to make weapons out of everyday office supplies. For you my-time-is-money skip-to-the-last-page personality types, just have a look at the Super Maul and tell me you couldn’t kill a medium to large animal with it.

The story is that people enjoy playing Guitar Hero because it makes them feel like they can actually play the guitar. So does that mean that people enjoy playing this game because it makes them feel like their parents actually love them enough to buy them Guitar Hero?

Musicovery is a webradio application that lets you interactively explore music using many filters such as mood, genre, date, and energy level. If you like discovering new stuff, try unchecking the “Hit” box and check “Discovery”.

Little known fact: 1 in 4 zombies would rather cuddle than eat brains.

PS: JUMP GYPSY, JUMP!

As if Mondays weren’t bad enough already…

Look, I don’t want to scare any of you out there, but zombies are coming to eat your brains, and soon. Like tomorrow. Probably around 3pm. We’re planning on grabbing some Taco Bell first, so we may be a little late. Excuse me, they might be a little late. Heh.

The Monkey is back. He laughs at your suffering.

What is Dick Cheney doing in there? What is he planning? Is he going to “accidentally” mistake George Bush for some quail?

Do you believe in the magic of David Blaine? Watch as he uses his level 7 demon magic on two hapless young men, vaporizes their hold on reality just by blinking, and then leaves them comatose on the pavement. It’s magic. Street magic.

PS: This video contains excessive profanity. Excessive? I meant ‘almost constant’.

David Blaine is using his demon magic to torment the same two guys in this follow up to his first web episode of David Blaine Street Magic.

P.S. This video contains some profanity. Not as much as last time.

Two brothers in a family of drifters. One lost forever, and one forever searching. Follow Dr. Kagamura as he discovers the truth about his brother, lost in the D-Dimension where everyone drifts all the time, and it’s impossible to drive in a straight line…

Wake up silly sleepy-heads! Charlie’s going to Candy Mountain, a land of sweets and joy and joyness. It’ll be an adventure!

Do you love Guitar Hero? Do your parents not love you enough to buy it for you? Well stop crying cry-baby! Now thanks to the internet you can play this two-dimensional Guitar Hero clone that features a collection of songs by people who aren’t famous!

Here’s a fluffy white snowball game to start off your week. The object of the game is to roll your balls so that they are at least as big as my balls. And mine, if I hadn’t mentioned it already, are absolutely gigantic. You have your mission.

While it isn’t a game in the sense that there are no scores, and no goal, this is still a fun little time waster. Draw lines to create the sledding hill you always dreamed of as a kid, and then watch your pixel-comprised alter ego plunge down with wild abandon. I just wish there was an eraser tool.

So as it turns out, god is a DJ. Or DJs are necromancers. Or this one is made of magic. I’m not really sure to be honest, but this short film has apparently won a lot of awards.

If you have been in a coma for the past few years, you may have missed the Badger Song when it first appeared on the internet. If that is the case, I have come to your rescue like the great hero I am!
Badge badger badger
Mushroom mushroom!

Every country needs a hero. The British have James Bond. The Americans have Jack Bauer. The Canadians have… I’m not sure, maybe some sort of large robotic beaver. And the Phillippines have Agent 00, also known as ‘Weng Weng’. Don’t laugh! He may only be 2 feet 9 inches tall but he’s got a remote controlled razorblade hat for god’s sake!

If, like me, you were having trouble deciding whether your next videogame purchase should be Kingdom Hearts II or Resident Evil 4, this little video narrated by mc chris should clear up the decision for you.

Although not well known, Jesusasaurus Rex was by far the most feared of the dinosaurs, possessing the ability to rise from the grave and bore other dinosaurs to death with speeches about kindness.

Gary Slossen was in the process of creating another mediocre Flash animation when suddenly, and completely inexplicably, the animation came to life and tried to escape the confines of his monitor! Did Gary manage to destroy the animated horror, or was he devoured alive? Watch and find out.

This video should please all of you cat loving dog haterz out there. Long live the great feline revolution!

If I had any friends you can be sure that I would invite them over for a light switch rave! Afterwards I would probably be back to having no friends. Ah the circle of life.

Help the poor little boneless man avoid the metal spikes raining down from the sky! I was able to dodge 135. Coincidentally that is the same number of pushups I do every morning. Right before I head off to male supermodel school. Just some little facts I thought you might be interested in… *cough* ladies.

If this ridiculously catchy song is any indication, Halo 3 will destroy your marriage and eat your children. Not a bad deal for $60.

The Japanese have no respect for Flash games. What are these little totem guys? Where is the shotgun? Shouldn’t there be zombies somewhere? I demand bad techno music!

You people want another game? Well I want Lamborghini Gallardo, are you going to give me that? I didn’t think so. Well here’s your game anyways, jerks.

Hell of Sand is yet another game with no point other than to waste time. It is also an oddly titled game. I would have called it Joy of Relaxing Sand. Make sure you experiment with all of the options at the bottom.

This is one of those games that the more I play, the worse I get. And that makes me want to play it more, which makes me suck at it even harder. It’s a vicious cycle, and it will end with me naked, crying, and possibly in the wrong apartment. 66.13 was my best, but that was many games ago…

This game is not Pacman. It is something far better. It is Pacxon. Do not play Pacxon if you are sensitive to or have ever had an allergic reaction to it. Do not play Pacxon for at least 14 days after taking a monoamine oxidase inhibitor (MAO inhibitor) such as the antidepressants Nardil and Parnate. Pacxon and MAO inhibitors may interact to cause a sharp, potentially life-threatening rise in blood pressure.

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be a missile? Yeah… me too. In fact it pretty much consumes my every waking thought. I used to think about it so much that it cost me just about everything. My job, my wife, my hair, my beloved hamster Sir Hamerstien… but now thanks to this game I can finally get my life back together. Thank-you The Missile Game 3d!

Question 1: When you guys ask me to put up a game, what do I do? Answer: I put it up. Question 2: Why do I do that? Answer: Because I love you like a fat kid loves cake. Question 3: Why am I so awesome? Answer: Not entirely sure, maybe genetics.

Line Rider is back, this time with two different track types, a zoom tool, and an eraser tool!

This is one of those tower-defense-type games, only with this one you get in on the action a little bit. It’s been around for a while, but unlike me not everyone is a walking Flash game encyclopedia, so I thought I’d share. And also unlike me not everyone has the figure and features of a Greek god, but unfortunately there’s nothing I can do about that.

ZOMBIES COMIN’ UP THE HELL RIGHT NOW! SHOOT ‘EM IN THE HEAD! SHOOT ‘EM!! HIS AXE IS ON FIRE! HE KILLED YOUR PARENTS! SHOOT ‘EM IN THE HEAD!! JUMP GYPSY, JUMP!!

Although this game is fantastically cool, I cannot help but think of how much cooler it would be if these talented game developers had made it about a pirate and not a ninja. Instead of lasers there would be cannonballs, and instead of all this silly jumping there would be swashbuckling. And there would also be ale, and a parrot, and eyepatches. I think I’ve made my point.

Pop open the bubbly, it’s time to celebrate! Fans of Boxhead: More Rooms are sure to enjoy ‘2Play’, the next installment in the box zombie series. And if you’re lucky enough to have a friend sitting beside you, or perhaps a conjoined twin, then you can also enjoy the new co-op and deathmatch modes!

I’ll tell you when the suffering will end. It ends when that monkey is lying face-down in a pool of his own blood.

Here are another 50 levels of Bloons, but this time they are created by the fans. I haven’t gotten that far, but some of these levels seem pretty ridonculous. I don’t know about you, but if I were making a Bloons level it would have 5 balloons, 20 darts, and you’d be able to kill that damn monkey.

I almost feel like I need to apologize for this post.

Although the medicinal effects of popping balloons have never been scientifically proven, the South African Supahfa-izzle tribe have been using the technique for over a century. Critically ill tribe members are give a large pin and placed in an enclosure filled with giant, colorful balloons. And although the patients still die, at least they die smelling of balloons.

I have never really understood the tower defense games, but by golly they are fun. And I don’t understand what is the deal with the elements, so someone feel free to enlighten me on that. It says the creator of this game has scored 90 points. I scored 11. Less is better right?