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J. Woher's Favorite Posts:

Hex Frvr
categories: Games, HTML5

Guess what? I got a frvr, and the only prescription is more hexagon themed puzzle games!

Hex Empire
categories: Games

This game reminds me of the hours days okay fine, weeks I flushed down the pooper playing Civ3 and Dice Wars. The desire for revenge I feel when territory is stolen from me immediately overrides all natural instincts to eat, bathe, blink, and feed the goldfish. Forgive me Bubbles and Lexus! FORGIVE ME!

NoNoSparks: The Ark
categories: Games

If I were God and was instructing Noah about loading animals onto the arc, I’d tell him to exclude wasps and replace them with a pair of puggles.

Amazing Africa Toto Cover
categories: Music, Videos

Who could have ever imagined that the world’s greatest singer would be some Louis C.K. looking guy covering Africa in a pizza restaurant in Salt Lake City, Utah?

Sequester
categories: Games

If you recognize some genius behind this game, that may come from the production talents of Ethan Levy, also known as the guy who made Oh, the Huge Manatee which I will never let anyone forget.

Fixation
categories: Games
NoNoSparks: Genesis
categories: Games

If I were recreating the world there would be a few changes: 1) the sun would not emit harmful UV rays, 2) we would all have gigantic feet, and 3) TALKING DOGS.

I wanna cast Magic Missile.
categories: Funny, Videos

This video is actually a favorite of mine from back in the time before I had broadband Internet access. It is the tale of a group of intrepid young video game characters playing Dungeons & Dragons for the first time.

Michael Bolton Sings About Pirates of the Caribbean
categories: Funny, Music, Videos

TIL that Captain Jack Sparrow is the Jester of Tortuga. Hilariously NSFW.

Colorshift
categories: Games

At first I thought this game had a spelling error in the title, but after I ran it through Google Language Tools I realized it was just written in another language (Canadian). Don’t worry, I fixed it.

SOPA Cabana

You’re probably tired of SOPA stuff by now, but I’m also probably not going to get another excuse to post this.

All That Matters
categories: Games

All that matters is family, friends, and yadda yadda yadda, with or without whipped cream.

William and Sly
categories: Games

The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy fairybug runestone thing.

William And Sly II
categories: Games

I think I’ve seen that William guy before at Club Buck. Uh… not that I’ve ever been there. Just someone I know said he saw him there. Not that I know anyone who goes there. Just like heard it from a friend of a friend. Nevermind.

Enviro-Bear 2000
categories: Funny, Geeky, Videos

This is clearly the best bear driving simulation ever and it’s available on PC, iPhone & iPad, and Android.

Diamond Hollow II
categories: Games

I’ve never been to Diamond Hollow, do they have an IHOP there?

Electric Box 2: Breakin’ Boogaloo
categories: Games

If any ladies out there understand what I did with the title, then you need to get out of my dreams and into my car. I’ve been waiting for you since 1984. As for the rest of you – get with the program.

Electric Box
categories: Games

Electricity is all sorts of useful. For instance, electricity is used to power snowmobiles, to make cars move (but not hybrids), and without electricity there would be no plants or animals. Think of how quiet and lonely the world would be without electricity! It would just be us and the robots.

Vector Stunt

I know you guys were looking forward to the latest Hannah Montana Kissing Cousins game, but you’re going to have to settle for this new DYOG exclusive instead. If you want a mental picture of this beast, imagine Vector Runner mixed with Dolphin Olympics, but with more vectors and an extra serving of dolphin sexual assault.

Hot Girl Song

Being free from the tyranny of my pants means I don’t have this problem.

Soda Pop Store
categories: Crazy, Videos

I had no idea there were this many different kinds of soda.

PRIOR
categories: Games

Based on the experience with yesterday’s game, I thought it might be a good idea to post something a little more engaging today. I don’t want to be the one responsible for creating an epidemic of male-PMS. And no guys, those pants do not make you look fat.

Doodle God 2

Doodle God 2… so does this game pickup where the last one ended? Because in that one I had created a cyborg Olivia Munn with giant cyber-boobs, and I was hoping to upgrade her with a Ferrari torso but the game ended.

The Infinite Ocean
categories: Games

Coincidentally, “the infinite ocean” is also the term I use for my bladder after drinking a 7-Eleven Super Big Gulp.

Block Drop
categories: Games

I’m not going to go into details, but the last time I experienced a giant diamond being tossed into the ocean under a beautiful sunset was my famous botched wedding proposal of 1997. Note to self: next time try waiting for the restraining order to expire before proposing.

Dino Run: Marathon of Doom
categories: Games

I once ran my own “Marathon of Doom”. I was in west Oakland being chased by some kids who kept yelling something about crackers, my bowels were at DEFCON level 2 thanks to five fish tacos I just ate at El Pollo Loco, and my feet were covered in blisters from a Salsa dancing competition the day before. Worst day ever!

Elephant Quest
categories: Games

We all know nobody wants to talk about the elephant in the room, though I can’t help but wonder if it would be different if he was carrying ten balloons, a teddy bear, and a couple of golden keys. I bet everyone would wanna talk about that guy.

Ononmin

Am I the only one who read the title of this game as om nomin? Because, oddly enough, I could om nom a whole plate of Taberinos as we speak.

Dubai Fountain
categories: Art, Music, Videos

Yes, this is awesome, and yes, that is the theme from Civilization IV.

Clarence’s Big Chance
categories: Games

Clarence’s story reminds me of me this guy I know, who after being single for 35 years finally set up a date with a nice lady he met online. Unfortunately she started throwing cutlery at me him as soon as she saw me him walking up to her table. Maybe next time he shouldn’t send a photo that was created by mashing up a young Tom Cruise and Ryan Reynolds in some morphing software.

BattlePaint
categories: Games

I have noted the complaints about a lack of shooting games lately. Rest assured I am always listening to your bitching cries for justice, so today’s game has plenty of shooting (and keyboard controls that will molest your whining brain through the eye sockets until you get the urge to chop off your disobedient fingers).

Taberinos
categories: Games

Dos Taberinos! Undelay! Undelay! Arrrrrriba!

Death Dice Overdose
categories: Games

I always face a bit of a moral quandary when I post a game involving drugs. In the end I usually dedide that it’s not my place to try and tell you whether or not I think drugs are bad. That’s something you have to decide on your own. By taking mountains of drugs. And seeing if they make you feel awesome or not.

The Moops – Combos of Joy
Hamster Dance Revolution: Broccoli Edition
categories: Cute, Videos

Mocha the tiny hamster loves broccoli. He loves it so much that his little hamster legs shake with excitement.

Stewie Griffin Sings Bryan Adams

Oh Family Guy, is there anything you can’t make wonderful?

To deny that is to deny your very soul.
categories: Funny, Videos

Note to self: That is one crazy, crazy bitch.

Fantastic Contraption
categories: Games

While you’re wasting your time building little machines that make the pink thing go into the other pink thing, I will be using the the tools in this game to construct the ultimate virtual girlfriend. She’ll have the most beautiful eyes and be my intellectual equal in every way. Plus branches for arms and wheels for legs.

Portal
categories: Games

This is a 2D version of Valve Software’s innovative game Portal. The goal of the game is to use the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device to complete a series of increasingly difficult room puzzles, all so that you can eat some delicious cake and listen to the crazy Portal song until you throw-up.

Toby Jones Wants to Store Your Stuff
categories: Funny, Videos

At Jones’ Big ASS Truck Rental and Storage, Toby Jones will store anything for $10.99 a month!!!

Meat Boy
categories: Games

Ladies and gentlemen, I’d like you to meet Meat Boy. GET IT? You see what I just did there? That is how you roll a pun my friends. Damn! I am good. Okay, nap time.

Green
categories: Games

Out of respect for our English users, I decided to find a game today that didn’t use any of the color Green. And then I remembered that I’m kind of mean, so I switched to trying to find a game with as much Green in it as possible. And then I named the post Green even though the game is called Heir.

Flood Fill
categories: Games

I know you feisty Canadians are probably getting all aroused seeing that orgy of U’s on the instructions page – but know this! I am coming for you. I’m wearing a cowboy hat, driving my H2 hummer with a Coors Light in one hand and a Walmart brand rifle in the other, and all your precious free health care won’t be enough to save you from my wrath!

Obey the Game
categories: Games

Well I may not have achieved my primary goal for the week, or my secondary goal, but I did complete my lessor known 3rd goal of being a complete failure in everything I do. Mission accomplished! Ho-yeah.

Achievement Unlocked 2
categories: Games

Yup, it’s another blue elephant game. Honestly I’m not sure what you’re supposed to do in this one. I’ve just been sitting in front of the computer randomly hitting the arrow keys, and that feels pretty gratifying. Though maybe that’s because I removed my pants? Yes, it’s definitely because I removed my pants.

This is the Only Level TOO
categories: Games

the blue elephant
escapes into confinement
for endless seasons

This is the Only Level
categories: Games

Traversed by a grey skinned fellow,
With tusks a whiteish-yellow,
and kisses like shots of Grape Jello.

Charlie the Unicorn goes to Candy Mountain
categories: Funny, Videos

Wake up silly sleepy-heads! Charlie’s going to Candy Mountain, a land of sweets and joy and joyness. It’ll be an adventure!

The Hardest Level
categories: Funny, Videos

Following this link is a demonstration of what goes on in a person’s head while they’re playing a videogame (especially one with jumping puzzles). As such, it is essentially one endless string of profanities and the audio should not be considered safe-for-work. Please, play, and let the hilarity ensue.

Doodle Devil
categories: Games

You know, I like this game, but the only problem is that its logic really doesn’t conform with what my brain tells me. How does woman + lust not equal Kelly Brook? And how does gluttony + chaos not make the Bellagio Buffet in Vegas?

The Professor Brothers – Sodom & Gomorrah
categories: Funny, Videos

Genesis 19: Total insanity.

(NSFW because of swearing)

Doodle God
categories: Games

If I could play god and reinvent the world from scratch I have to admit I wouldn’t do much differently. I would however forgo the giant armored sea spiders in favor of something a little more useful, like say a mix between a puppy and a vending machine.

Ragdoll Avalanche
categories: Games

Help the poor little boneless man avoid the metal spikes raining down from the sky! I was able to dodge 135. Coincidentally that is the same number of pushups I do every morning. Right before I head off to male supermodel school. Just some little facts I thought you might be interested in… *cough* ladies.

Upgrade Complete!
categories: Games

Hey, you know what else is complete? YOUR FAILURE TO PLEASE ME. Guys, it is already 2 days into summer and I have yet to receive a fruit basket.

Arachnophilia: The Spider Web Game

Tired of boring, predictable games? Has the same-old-same-old got you down? Well rejoice, for the next Dig Your Own Grave exclusive has arrived! I am so here for you fruitcakes. I am your pusher. I am your fat sweaty sugar daddy. I am the cushion for your pushin. I… might have crossed the line with that last one.

N Ninja
categories: Games

Although this game is fantastically cool, I cannot help but think of how much cooler it would be if these talented game developers had made it about a pirate and not a ninja. Instead of lasers there would be cannonballs, and instead of all this silly jumping there would be swashbuckling. And there would also be ale, and a parrot, and eyepatches. I think I’ve made my point.

Where the Hell is Matt?
categories: Geeky, Videos

Three years ago Matt from Connecticut quit his day job and decided to travel the world. The result is a video of him doing a cute little dance in every corner of the globe. For maximum depression, this video is best watched from your cubicle at work.

Loops of Zen
categories: Games

This is Loops of Zen, sequel to the lesser known but equally enjoyable game, Poops of Zen. Played by me. This morning. On the toilet.

Every bird should get to fly.
categories: Cute, Videos

If I won the lottery, I’d definitely buy a penguin. But I probably wouldn’t take him flying.

Starlight Xmas
categories: Games

Starlight Starbright,
the first couch I see tonight,
I wish I may, I wish I might,
it fits my derrière perfectly right.

Amorphous+
categories: Games

That’s not a knife, this is a… holy crap, wait that is a knife.

Small Worlds
categories: Games

If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to play a video game looking through one of those giant magnifying glasses that old people use to read the newspaper, well… today is your lucky day!

Don’t look back
categories: Games

Even 8-bit spiders terrify me.