Ted Kefalinos, the most innocent and adorable racist in the world, just can’t understand what all the fuss is about concerning his Drunken Negro Face cookies.

Not a lot of people know this, but Sesame Street isn’t for children anymore. In their efforts to reach the coveted young adult demographic, I think they’ve crossed the line.

I don’t know, I think forcing the players to wear binoculars actually improves the game.

You know, I prefer this version. It’s shorter, and without all that needless dialogue.

Unfortunately for Ameriquest, they followed this motto too closely and now they’re out of business. They even gave a mortgage to that strange homeless man that defecates on the sidewalk by my office. Well, I guess he’s not homeless anymore. His house is actually nicer than mine. Still does that sidewalk pooping though.

Swim away fugu fish, swim away, or you might get pulled in to the vortex of Steve’s negativity and not enjoy this new Charlie the Unicorn adventure.

I’ll be honest, this game isn’t really what I had imagined when I fantasize about being a zombie. First off, armor? Second, friends? And I had imagined a lot more brain eating. Also – less talking, more groaning.

Fear not, citizens of Earth! When goofy galactic robots invade, you will be there to fight off the invasion. The government has surgically removed your skeleton to provide you with greater agility, and attached powerful automatic weapons to your hands for combat (they are also auditing you for the 2006 tax year to increase your aggression).

If you hate your children and want to hurt them, but are worried about the inevitable jail sentence, buy them a trampoline. They will love you for getting them such a fun toy, and you can rest assured that it’s only a matter of time before they get seriously injured.

Kellie Pickler, from American Idol, appeared on the game show Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader?, and well, she wasn’t. Honestly, I’m not sure if she’s smarter than a lamp shade.

If, like me, you were having trouble deciding whether your next videogame purchase should be Kingdom Hearts II or Resident Evil 4, this little video narrated by mc chris should clear up the decision for you.

Do you believe in the magic of David Blaine? Watch as he uses his level 7 demon magic on two hapless young men, vaporizes their hold on reality just by blinking, and then leaves them comatose on the pavement. It’s magic. Street magic.

PS: This video contains excessive profanity. Excessive? I meant ‘almost constant’.

If you really hate someone, you can create a JustGotOwned.com site for them, and then send them the link. Remember Steve the non-believer? Well he just got OWN3D! (Note: Some of the OWN3D images are mildly disturbing, and the music is really loud and annoying, but I guess that’s rather the point.)

Help the poor little boneless man avoid the metal spikes raining down from the sky! I was able to dodge 135. Coincidentally that is the same number of pushups I do every morning. Right before I head off to male supermodel school. Just some little facts I thought you might be interested in… *cough* ladies.

Normally I would warn you that the audio for this movie is not safe for work, and that you should wear headphones or turn your speakers down. But in the spirt of tourettes, I think you should play this one loud. If your coworkers get offended just ask them if they hate all people with disabilities, or just those with tourettes.

In the spring of 1999, the Family Learning Channel commissioned animator Don Hertzfeldt to produce promotional segments for their network. The cartoons were completed in five weeks. The Family Learning Channel rejected all of them upon review, and they were never aired…

“What the hell is an aluminum falcon?”

Do you like today’s eastery rabbit theme? No??? Well maybe I don’t like your grumpy-no-like-anything theme. And you know what else I don’t like? You. Believe it!

The Tourettes Guy’s psychiatrist puts a giant 4ft. tall statue of a blue M&M next to his bed to see how a person with Tourette’s Syndrome would react if they woke up and saw a giant blue M&M in-front of their bed.

“This Texas Tech University freshman got the once in a lifetime opportunity to be the football team’s “bell ringer” during their games…”

And then things get funny. I won’t say why but it has to do with masturbating, and masturbating is almost as funny as farting.

I like this game because it has three different game modes. And that means I can dominate all of you in three different ways using only a single game. It’s like triple-domination time, baby. Prepare to be dominated. Three times.

Arcade: 47 stars/71.70 secs, Countdown: 106 stars, Sprint: 18.43 secs

If I had a cat that was a) capable of walking, and b) wouldn’t scratch my face off as soon as I touched it, I’d be putting tape on it right now!

David Blaine is using his demon magic to torment the same two guys in this follow up to his first web episode of David Blaine Street Magic.

P.S. This video contains some profanity. Not as much as last time.

Following this link is a demonstration of what goes on in a person’s head while they’re playing a videogame (especially one with jumping puzzles). As such, it is essentially one endless string of profanities and the audio should not be considered safe-for-work. Please, play, and let the hilarity ensue.

Dig Your Own Grave and unicorns have had a rather storied past, and this certainly isn’t going to help matters. So without further ado, let’s give it up for Feathers, ooo ooo Cadillac, and Tom Cruise!

Barry! What are you doing? What is wrong with you? Do not open anything else! What is that? Barry, no!

And now, a dramatic reading of a real breakup letter from a real person.

This makes me wonder how many penises have been hidden in all the cartoons I’ve watched over the years.