There’s an old saying, “When life gives you lemons, smash those *#$&%s into the ground with the largest club you can find. Fill the streets with their sour citrus blood until not a single one is left whole”. Or… something like that.

It’s tough for me to decide what I like better, Bejeweled clones, or Poppit clones. It’s kind of like trying to decide between death by fuzzy puppy kisses, or death by Brazilian supermodel kisses. It just depends on my mood.

This is one of those games that the more I play, the worse I get. And that makes me want to play it more, which makes me suck at it even harder. It’s a vicious cycle, and it will end with me naked, crying, and possibly in the wrong apartment. 66.13 was my best, but that was many games ago…

Can there be a better way to put an engineering education to use than to develop a game simulating the fluid dynamics of mucus? Well if there is, I don’t want to know about it.

If you played the prequel to this game, 3 Hours in an Outhouse Tank, you may be hesitant to give this one a try. Understandable, but I can assure you that 3 Minutes on the Beach is a much more relaxing and enjoyable experience. Unless you’re into that outhouse stuff, pervert.

Admin: Hello. I’m looking for the best game evar. I missed you my OutZone. I love you. You complete me. And I just…

OutZone: Shut up Admin. Just shut up. You had me at hello.

Okay, I realize yesterday’s game might have been a little too academic for some, so today we’re just going to blow holes in stuff. Blow holes in your knowledge of architecture and geography that is! Huzzah!

Your wildest Plinko fantasies have just come true.

Well fruitcakes, another Christmas is upon us. I hope yours is very merry and you have a safe and happy time over the holidays. And always remember the lessons the baby jesus has taught us: it is your birthright to receive gifts today, and webmasters are super sexy.

I think this game is broken. I can’t find the Yahtzee button anywhere.

If you’re anything like me, the first thing that comes to mind when you hear ‘pool’, is ’swimming pool’. And thinking of a swimming pool makes me want to pee in it, because it’s such a warm, friendly feeling. And by this point I’ve usually wet my pants.

After all the color blinders complaining about games they can’t play because they’re color blind (wa wa wa), I’ve decided to post a game perfectly suited to their vile disease. (And the game isn’t broken – you just have to choose your country from the list in the bottom before playing.)

Tired of boring, predictable games? Has the same-old-same-old got you down? Well rejoice, for the next Dig Your Own Grave exclusive has arrived! I am so here for you fruitcakes. I am your pusher. I am your fat sweaty sugar daddy. I am the cushion for your pushin. I… might have crossed the line with that last one.

Does anyone remember that old board game Crossbows and Catapults? I loved that game so much it made me enjoy childhood despite the constant beatings.