A little tip for the guys out there, there is nothing – nothing – better for picking up chicks than a monocle. A monocle says a) I’m rich, b) I’m smart, and c) I’m so off my ass crazy that I will stalk you and boil your pets alive if you don’t love me forever so don’t even humor the idea of rejection.

You may enjoy spending your Easter holiday killing bunnies, but I can assure you that these guys do not approve.

Super Mario Bros (pronounced Sooper Mary-o Bras!) is a classic game of lost love, addiction, forbidden desire, and mushrooms. Much like my pants are a classic story of itchiness, abuse, neglect, and absence from my legs.

Can Charlie save the future, all the while declining the advances of a particularly possessive starfish?

People often ask me how I choose what games to post on Dig Your Own Grave. Basically I follow a simple 2-step system: First, I start up the game and begin playing. Second, I play for about 5 minutes and wait to see if any bunnies come on the screen, jump in the air, and fire large poop pellets at me. If it happens, I post the game.