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Jeihot's Favorite Posts:

Burrito Bison Revenge
categories: Games

I understand the concept of burrito revenge: it happens the morning after eating nine Taco Bell beef burrito supreme menus. If anyone knows how the bison fits into this story, let me know. Come to think of it, better not – this is a family site.

Tiny Heist
categories: Games

Fruitcakes rejoice! I am back from my long vacation. I know there are many thoughts swarming in your tiny brains now, for example “wtf, he’s alive” or maybe “what does this guy need a vacation from”, but I can assure you I don’t care about any of it.

0h n0
categories: Games, HTML5

Apparently, “oh no” is a direct quote from my mother when she first saw me after I was born. The second direct quote is “how much can I get for a disfigured white baby?”.

The 1988 Crystal Light National Aerobic Championship
categories: Funny, Videos

They never…stop… moving.

The Lance
categories: Games

Coincidentally (or not?), Grand Rapid’s famous male dancer Dirk Valentine was famous for a move known as “The Lance”. I would tell you what it involved, but as I already mentioned I don’t know anything about this stuff. You perverts.

Krome
categories: Games

A simple Monday game for a bunch of simpletons (that’s you guys).

Pre-Civilization: Stone Age
categories: Games

To get yourself in the mood for this game, picture yourself wandering the Earth hundreds and hundreds of years ago, among the dinosaurs and sabre tooth tigers, eating forbidden fruit and talking to burning bushes.

Creeper World: Evermore
categories: Games

Angry Husky didn’t seem too upset that I’m posting another Creeper game so soon, but he did make me fill out an odd questionnaire last night covering topics such as my work schedule, my most treasured possessions, and my personal feelings towards dog barf.

Into Space 2
categories: Games

If I were going to Mars I would only stay two weeks. Twwwwoooooo weeeeeeeekssuh

Morningstar
categories: Games

Whenever I wake up and find myself crashed on an unknown planet, I just follow these simple steps for survival: 1) cry hysterically, 2) see if there are any cats on board that can be used as food, 3) pee on my shirt and wrap it around my head to prevent dehydration, and 4) take a nap. I always end up waking up a little later, safe and sound at home in my bed. And also covered in urine.

How to Raise a Dragon
categories: Games

It actually takes very little to raise a dragon. Just leave it in a room with some canned ravioli, toilet paper, and a television. It will turn out fine – just like me. Now if you’ll excuse me, my Hannah Montana torrent is almost done and I need to get into my polar bear suit before I can watch.

Burrito Bison
categories: Games

The moral of the story is: nothing good ever happens at geographical locations that contain the word candy.

You: Admin, you are lame and we hate you for posting two upgrade games in a row. Also, we never read your intros.

I Have 1 Day
categories: Games

I have to admit that from the creators of Don’t S**t Your Pants I expected more pants and more s**t.

Learn To Fly 2
categories: Games

Seeing a penguin with his head wrapped in bandages reminds me of the time I got some discount liposuction done in Tuktoyaktuk. Instead of giving me an anesthetic they just made me lie naked in the snow for an hour. And they stole my wallet. And never operated on me. Good times, good times…

Ultimate Assassin 3
categories: Games

Just a warning: never watch a movie called Ultimate Ass Sassin. I thought it was just a spelling mistake and I’d enjoy a good action flick, but in reality the video store with windows painted over and a man at the cash who never looks you in the eye should have set off the alarm. Or the guy on the DVD cover wearing assless chaps.

I Am Flying To The Moon
categories: Games

Fly me to the moon
Let me play Flash games among the stars
Let me see what spring is like
On Jupiter and Mars

Buttonx20

I once pressed a button 20 times, if you know what I mean. *nudge nudge, wink wink* My router stopped working, so I had to restart it 20 times.

Infectonator : World Dominator
categories: Games

Spread the zombie virus on a global scale in the latest installment of the Infectonator series.

Angry Husky: *poooooooooops*

Don’t look back
categories: Games

Even 8-bit spiders terrify me.

Call Me Tay Zonday
categories: Funny, Music, Videos
Corporation Inc.
categories: Games

If you’re thinking about starting your own company, let me offer you some humble advice:

a) public interest in DIY liposuction kits is not as high as you would expect.
b) a 50% discount on used q-tips is apparently not tempting enough.

Ononmin

Am I the only one who read the title of this game as om nomin? Because, oddly enough, I could om nom a whole plate of Taberinos as we speak.

Parasitic Wasp Larvae
categories: Crazy, Videos

Damn nature, you scary!

Run, Jesus Run!
categories: Games

Everyone knows I always try to post holiday themed games. For instance on Christmas I’ll post a game about the baby Jesus. So for the Fourth of July I’m posting a game about our country’s founding father, the baby Jesus. What can I say, I love the baby Jesus. And hookers. Can’t forget about the hookers.

Oiligarchy
categories: Games

Ah, sweet sweet crude, aka petroleum, aka “The Black Gold”. Not to be confused with “The Brown Gold”, known to many by it’s consumer name, Nutella. I would smear that stuff into my eyes if it made the taste last longer (it doesn’t, I tried).

Don’t Your Pants
categories: Games

Remember that time you had Taco Bell and then had to find a bathroom really (really really) quickly? This game picks up where that fateful afternoon left off.

PS: Contains NSFW language. Lots of it.

Pandemic II
categories: Games

I’ve got a fever, and the only prescription is:

a) coated 200 mg Advil tablets.
b) more cowbell.
c) raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens.

Love

I wanna know what love is
I want Scarlett Johansson to show me
I wanna feel what love is
I know she can show me
Aaaah woah-oh-ooh

Now Boarding
categories: Games

This game confuses me, it’s nothing like my personal experiences with air travel. For instance, I’ve never had to wait in line boarding my private jet. And who are all those other people on the plane? At most I’ve had maybe 2 personal assistants flying with me at once. Oh I get it, those are the strippers!

Hex Empire
categories: Games

This game reminds me of the hours days okay fine, weeks I flushed down the pooper playing Civ3 and Dice Wars. The desire for revenge I feel when territory is stolen from me immediately overrides all natural instincts to eat, bathe, blink, and feed the goldfish. Forgive me Bubbles and Lexus! FORGIVE ME!

DICEWARS
categories: Games

It’s just like Risk, only faster and funner. And you don’t have to talk to people. And I can’t stop playing it. Every time another side takes over one of my areas my rage is so great I want to rip their dice right out of the computer monitor and devour them. And every time my dice win I want to hug them and squeeze them until they explode! Such joy!

Taberinos
categories: Games

Dos Taberinos! Undelay! Undelay! Arrrrrriba!

One Button Bob
categories: Games

Think you’re a good gamer? Try playing this one with your less dominant hand. Think you’re a great gamer? Try playing using your foot. Think you’re a gaming god? Go outside and get some fresh air.

Canabalt
categories: Games

Every once and a while a game comes along that really pushes the limits of… my html layouts. I’m serious, this thing is frickin’ wide.

Chain Factor
categories: Games

Whenever the number on a disc matches the size of the row or column that disc is in, it will disappear. See if you can clear the board, or try to survive as long as possible before filling the grid. Failing that, suicide is your only remaining option.

Tower of Greed
categories: Games

Are those gems in my pockets? Gosh no, I’m just happy to see you. Very happy. Alright you got me, those are gems.

PEL

PEL

Add to Favorites Button Gold Medal
categories: Games

The game may not look like much, but you should give it a shot. Believe me kids, looks aren’t everything. I realize that might sound silly coming from a man who has amassed a multimillion dollar fortune through male modeling contracts, but a little bit of heart goes a long way too.