If you haven’t already, you probably want to play Episode 1 or you might get a little lost. And if you get stuck on a puzzle, try purchasing Vector Runner for the iPhone to help you out (yes, even if you don’t have an iPhone). Look people, I know it doesn’t make sense but I’m not the one making up these crazy rules.

Destroy the other tribes so you can rule the jungle (until the Spanish come and take everything).

Happy New Year! Enjoy your champagne and revelry, I’m taking the day off tomorrow.

Angry Husky: (you friggin lazy punk!)

Oaky, yuo konw teh rlues! Cmomnets not in teh prepor froamt will be dleetd as if tehy neevr exsietd! It’s all prat of my tgouh lvoe porgarm.

Create clones of yourself to help you reach the door at the end of each level. Complete all the levels to win the ultimate prize – the love of Andie MacDowell in her prime. Or maybe I’m getting confused with that Michael Keaton movie.

Why oh why did I choose guitar over the clarinet? I bet guys who rock the clarinet get all the chicks.

Whenever I find myself in a room with a dead hooker *cough* I mean girl, I follow these three simple steps my dad taught me: “Stop, Drop, and Roll”. That stands for: stop what you were doing, drop everything, and roll on outta there.

Is it me, or does Dralien look a little… uh… what’s the politically correct term here? A little sofa king. A little sofa king we Todd did, if you know what I’m saying. *cough*

Admin’s Corollary: Penguins are black and white. This game is black and white. Therefore, this game is a penguin.

Not since R.S.V.P – The Racial Segregation Party have I been so disgusted with a game. How many years has it taken us to overcome our prejudices? And then a little game like this comes along and tries to teach us that it does matter whether you’re black or white. Well shame on you game developers. SHAME ON YOU!

Better red than dead.

Ignite People on Fire is the eagerly anticipated sequel to last year’s hit game, Light People on Fire. This version features faster paced gameplay, better special effects, and chubbies. Burn fatty, burn.

For a little extra enjoyment, turn down the lights, throw on some Slayer, and treat this game as the latest advancement in mosh pit simulation.

♫ Dance with the dead in my dreams…

One of the oldest and most popular games on Dig Your Own Grave is Cubefield. It’s so simple a two-fingered monkey could play it, but at the same time it’s so fun that you will spontaneously burst into tears of joy while playing it. And, we’ve just set it up with our new High Scores system, so you might want to check that all out before you officially become the lamest lame-o on the block.

Dig Your Own Grave would like to make it very clear that we feel suicide is no laughing matter. Unless a clown is committing suicide. Those big shoes are hilarious.

For the scores, enter a time of 04:35:853 as 4.35853.

Some things are better left unknown.

I was going to post a quote from Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus, but I remembered last time I did that everyone thought I was getting married in two days.

PS: There’s a bug with highscore submission: If you’re playing more than once, refresh the page each time you play if you want your scores to submit.

The most annoying thing about monstars is that they’re scary and occupy valuable closet space. The most annoying thing about Death is that he’s always trying to end my life and sometimes he forgets to flush. So Death wins this round in my books.