If any of you were totally freaked out by yesterday’s Hellspawn Huntsman Spider video, today I’m providing you with some free psychotherapy by letting you blast similar mutants from within the confines of an armored battle mech. They need to start selling those in Australia.

Today I’d like to introduce you to a new member of our DYOG family: Angry Husky. So what do you think of this game Angry Husky?

Angry Husky: THE TUTORIAL IS TOO LONG AND MY BUM IS ITCHY

These are my pants. There are many like them, but these ones are mine. My pants are my worst enemy. They are my death. I must master my pants as I must master my life. My pants, without me, are useless. Without my pants, I am invincible.

I also hate drama, pants, cold fingers, and smelly towels.

Maybe if some games took place in Canada we wouldn’t have to deal with all these locked doors?

Well I may not have achieved my primary goal for the week, or my secondary goal, but I did complete my lessor known 3rd goal of being a complete failure in everything I do. Mission accomplished! Ho-yeah.

If I were a zombie I wouldn’t bother running around trying to bite people in order to spread my undead infection. Instead, I would setup beside the road on days of large marathons and hand out water to runners from a barrel infected with my zombie saliva. See? Even dead I’m still brilliant.

So far my goal for the week is right on track. I think we can all agree that this game doesn’t involve any serious thinking, and as for hobos… well I’m pretty sure I saw one in wave 27.

No need to say it… I’m getting as sick of jumping around and collecting sparkling things as you are. I need some stuff to shoot. And I need that stuff to explode in a blinding hail of blood, organs and gold coins that I can use to buy weapon upgrades that will make things explode even harder. And if I can’t find such a game soon I’m just going to make it myself.

Well I finally found a game where we can let loose a little aggression, though I’m a bit disappointed I have to do all this “DRIVING” nonsense. I had really imagined a game where I could unleash my fury from within a beach chair or something like that. Maybe with a cocktail ordering mini-game?

Personally I don’t consider any level editor complete unless it has tools for pancake dispensers, puppy generators, and stripper factory installations.

I will always have a soft spot in my heart for llamas, mainly due to that chilly night in Denmark back in 2008. I had a little too much to drink, got separated from my friends and was lost. We talked for a bit and took a little walk down by the river, and that’s when she showed me all about that special “Danish hospitality” I had been hearing about.

I know you feisty Canadians are probably getting all aroused seeing that orgy of U’s on the instructions page – but know this! I am coming for you. I’m wearing a cowboy hat, driving my H2 hummer with a Coors Light in one hand and a Walmart brand rifle in the other, and all your precious free health care won’t be enough to save you from my wrath!

Finally, a game perfectly suited for the youth of today. Although Oakland kids might have an unfair advantage.

Twenty-five levels of electricimicating puzzles await you, and as an added bonus upon completion you will be rewarded with your wildest fantasy come true. Assuming of course that your wildest fantasy involves finishing an online puzzle game. Trust me – sometimes it’s good to set that bar low.

SO disappointed. With a name like Juggerdome I was expecting at least one performance by Insane Clown Posse and some Pauly Shore standup. I guess I’ll have to wait for the 11th Annual Gathering of the Juggalos.

This is my monster Tony. He is a level 12 Trap Master, a level 6 No Pants Wearing Master, and a level 4 Debating Master. He’ll trap you in his traps, out-casual you with his pants-free lifestyle, and master debate you under the table any day of the week!

And so begins an epic battle for the #1 Google result for “The Tickler”. Who will win, the innocently named Flash game, or the not-so-innocently named latex contraceptive?

I know you guys think I spend all my time oil wrestling supermodels and saving forest animals from the California wildfires, but honestly that’s only about 95% of my day. The other 5% I spend making terrific games like this one. It’s sort of a retro post-apocalyptic shooter with – UH OH GISELE HAS ME IN AN ARMBAR BRB

The most annoying thing about monstars is that they’re scary and occupy valuable closet space. The most annoying thing about Death is that he’s always trying to end my life and sometimes he forgets to flush. So Death wins this round in my books.

This game reminds me of the hours days okay fine, weeks I flushed down the pooper playing Civ3 and Dice Wars. The desire for revenge I feel when territory is stolen from me immediately overrides all natural instincts to eat, bathe, blink, and feed the goldfish. Forgive me Bubbles and Lexus! FORGIVE ME!

Today’s magical assemblage of interactive colored pixels complements 1066, a historical drama created by the UK’s Channel 4. Now start clickin’ on it ye rump-fed chicken!

A little tip for the guys out there, there is nothing – nothing – better for picking up chicks than a monocle. A monocle says a) I’m rich, b) I’m smart, and c) I’m so off my ass crazy that I will stalk you and boil your pets alive if you don’t love me forever so don’t even humor the idea of rejection.

It’s like a tower defense game, but it’s not a tower defense game. But it’s tower defense. I can’t explain! It’s madness!

Even 8-bit spiders terrify me.

My least favorite part is getting smothered by the balls.

There’s an age-old saying where I come from: if it looks like Tetris, if it feels like Tetris, and if it tastes like Tetris when you smother your monitor in long loving licks, then it is Tetris.

Werewolves are nothing to be afraid of, just think of them as really grumpy furries. If you trap them in a room with internet access they’ll be quite happy using the time to update their LiveJournal page instead of eating you.

Traversed by a grey skinned fellow,
With tusks a whiteish-yellow,
and kisses like shots of Grape Jello.

The only thing worse than a bug is a giant bug, and the only thing worse than a giant bug is a giant bug that comes out of giant egg sack.

I’ve been trying to figure out why this game is called Hexcelle. My best guess so far is that it was created by Sir Hextor Cellesis and that he named the game after his only son, who is also named Hextor. This is all speculation of course.

I don’t know what that giant pink thing with the boogers is, but I may have pooped it out yesterday morning. If it was me, I apologize.

Hooray! It’s the weekend. Who’s got exciting plans? I’m not doing much, just gonna catch up on True Blood episodes and pick the porcupine quills out of my lips. Hey, don’t judge – those things look just like groundhogs from far away.

I was originally calling 2009 The Year of the Physics Puzzle Games, however I am now officially changing 2009 to be The Year of the Jumping/Throwing and Upgrading In Between Games. Somebody please let China know – I’d do it myself but it’s my morning mocha time over here.

This game requires Flash Player 10. A lot of them do now. Maybe it’s time to update.

We’ve all seen The Matrix, Terminator, Battlestar Galactica… so what, now we’re supposed to help the robots? Ha ha, no way! Nice try robots!

In this exciting team-based tactical shooter, you play as Ervil LeBaron, fighting your way through hordes of vicious enemies accompanied by your 16 AI-controlled wives. Collect powerups and gold to upgrade… oh wait, Polygonal Fury. Sorry, wrong game.

Most men believe, though few will admit, that the true measure of a man is the amount of urine he pees out in a given trip to the bathroom. And even if you don’t agree, you have to admit it’s embarrassing when nothing comes out.

I have no idea how to submit scores in this game and that giant hand looks way too much like a spider for me to want to stick around and figure it out. You’re on your own kids! I’m off to get a burrito and a Thai massage. Okay, maybe just a burrito.

I was actually thinking the other day that a penguin would make the perfect pet – if it wasn’t for the constant pooping. You could bring him in the bath, he wouldn’t take much room on the bed, I bet he’d love watching tv and sharing popcorn… It really is a shame about the pooping.

I wasn’t in the Chess Club at school, so I don’t really know too much about the game. Back then I based all my extra curricular activities around where the chicks were at – namely the Math Club. Hello, woman of my dreams.

When I was a kid I used to dream of stomping through the countryside in a giant robotic suit. Now I just dream of stomping through my apartment in a black rubber suit with… you know, lets just forget I said that.

Thanks to recent advances in technology, you can create your own private dancer, a dancer for money, he’ll do what you want him to do. Just click paint and let your dreams do the talking.

Personally I was hoping to evolve an extra eyeball or maybe a second head, but I guess a monocle is pretty cool too. Chicks love monocles.

I normally don’t post RPG games, and here’s why: I don’t like RPGs. Also, I’m not really into Dungeons and Dragons type stuff, mainly because I don’t want to end up like these guys.

Your wildest Plinko fantasies have just come true.

This game demands to be played while puffing on a toy bubble pipe and wearing a musty tweed smoking jacket.

PS: Sorry if you’ve been getting hammered with popups today. I am trying to track down the offending advertiser.

It fires the potion at the hordes, it does this whenever it’s told. It fires the potion at the hordes or else it gets the hose again. Now it places the potion in the basket…

Oh noes! Some bad fuzzy bears have robbed a bank and taken hostages! You control a crack team of 4 special agent Warbears sent in to save the day. When you’re done you can just tell me what to do, because so far I’ve only been able to make the one bear blow up his bear buddy. And that, unfortunately, is not part of the mission.

Question 1: When you guys ask me to put up a game, what do I do? Answer: I put it up. Question 2: Why do I do that? Answer: Because I love you like a fat kid loves cake. Question 3: Why am I so awesome? Answer: Not entirely sure, maybe genetics.

This game is similar to the falling sand game. Half of you will hate it and will probably say I suck, because the game has no point. The other half will fall in to a relaxation induced coma while learning about gravity and/or magnetism.

Hell of Sand is yet another game with no point other than to waste time. It is also an oddly titled game. I would have called it Joy of Relaxing Sand. Make sure you experiment with all of the options at the bottom.

Here is the eagerly anticipated summer-blockbuster game Bowman 2. Not that I’ve ever played Bowman 1, but I’m sure this one is miles ahead in both special effects and plot twists. Be sure to try ‘Bird Hunting’ mode; pretend they’re all pigeons and exterminate with extreme prejiduce!

Final Fortress. It’s like Final Fantasy, only instead of a fantasy there’s a fortress. And instead of creepy androgynous japanese sci-fi magic there’s mines and cannons and explosions. Which makes it so much better than Final Fantasy that I just wet myself.

I used to play this game at an arcade, but now I don’t have to, which is good because I’m afraid to leave my house.

This game is, as the French say, ‘wickedly awesome’. The performance can be pretty bad, so before starting I recommend you go into the game’s configuration menu and turn motion blur and FPS Stability to OFF. Then tape a LEAVE ME ALONE note to the back of your head because you’ve got places to be (your computer) and people to see (zombies).

This game almost gets it right. No secret levels, no puzzles, no keys to unlock doors, no ‘moving around’. Just shooting lots of things that die really easily and sometimes even explode. Now if we could just incorporate a few topless women into the background or something I think we would have a winner. And maybe Korn in the soundtrack. Is Korn still cool? Okay, Slipknot then.

See that guy on the left? That’s your enemy. Now I don’t know about you, but if I looked like that I would chew off my own leg and use it to beat every living thing within eyesight into a coma. Be glad you’ve got that chain mail armor, my friends.

I don’t really have time to say too much about this game. It’s the start of a brand new day over here, and I’ve got some very important business to attend to. I can’t reveal exactly what that business is, but it starts with ‘p’ and rhymes with ‘pooping’. I mean… wait.. damn.

Click groups of three or more like-colored blocks to make them disappear. Don’t let the blocks reach the top or something bad will happen. I’m not going to say exactly what, but it may involve your mom, three stray cats, 1 jar of spaghetti sauce, former UFC heavyweight champion Tim ‘The Maniac’ Sylvia, and a lightbulb.

Octagons, hexagons, pentagons, blah blah blah blah blah. I ask you, what good has geometry ever done anyone? Exactly. It is useless, and therefore must be destroyed.

If you still don’t know what you want to do with your life, perhaps this game will help you discover a budding interest hydroponics you never knew you had. Career-wise, I’m not sure what you can do with hydroponic skills, but I’m sure you’ll get high by. *cough*

And I think it’s gonna be a long long time ’till touchdown brings me round again. To find I’m not the man they think I am at home, oh no no no…

Ah, sweet sweet crude, aka petroleum, aka “The Black Gold”. Not to be confused with “The Brown Gold”, known to many by it’s consumer name, Nutella. I would smear that stuff into my eyes if it made the taste last longer (it doesn’t, I tried).

Tired of boring, predictable games? Has the same-old-same-old got you down? Well rejoice, for the next Dig Your Own Grave exclusive has arrived! I am so here for you fruitcakes. I am your pusher. I am your fat sweaty sugar daddy. I am the cushion for your pushin. I… might have crossed the line with that last one.

I’ll admit this is a pretty cool use of a whiteboard, but I generally like to keep the one in my cubicle free for important messages like SOMEBODY SAVE ME and PLEASE FIRE ME.

I don’t know what sort of shady stuff you guys have been clicking on over there, but these little guys are not very happy with you.

Phun is a free, downloadable 2D physics sandbox. You can do pretty much anything in it. I was actually able to model Einstein’s Theory of Relativity and send a crudely drawn square back in time to kill it’s own parents, thereby erasing itself from existence. Either that or I pressed the undo button, I’m not sure. Video of Phun-in-action after the jump.

This isn’t really a game per se, but it does recreate those halcyon moments of burning ants with a magnifying glass, and all without any of that nagging guilt afterwards.

Quite possibly the greatest game in the history of mankind. And probably the only game in the history of eternity to feature a ‘Critical Slap’.

Like me, have you always felt that Green Arrow was the lamest member of the Justice League? I know he had that hot green suit and the awesome pointy goatee, but the bow-and-arrow seemed like such a silly weapon compared to Superman’s heat vision. Well boy were we wrong! The bow-and-arrow is the best weapon ever!

I think this game is broken. I can’t find the Yahtzee button anywhere.

There is a great war waging among the stars above us. A war that only non-epileptics can win.

There’s nothing I like more on a Friday night than kicking back with a good flash game, a buttery Chardonnay, and a brick of aged Swiss. What about you?

That’s not a knife, this is a… holy crap, wait that is a knife.

You might not think that stacking blocks would be fun, be let’s not forget you felt the same way when I told you to try pouring butterscotch pudding down your pants. And now you can’t leave the house without a little pudding in the pants, can you? It’s just so gosh darned… butterscotchy.

Main Entry: rage
Pronunciation: \ˈrāj\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Anglo-French, from Late Latin rabia, from Latin rabies rage, madness, from rabere to be mad; to be forced to wear pants

I really wanted to make up for yesterday’s blunder by ruining your weekend extra badly today. However, today’s game has turned out to be quite fun, relatively easy, and somewhat short. As punishment, I shall spend the entire weekend in not just pants, but snowpants, listen to 50 Cent’s new album in it’s entirety, and eat only gluten-free foods.

iTS JUST ANOTER TOWER DEFENCE GAME iM TOTALY BOARD OF THEES TYPES OF GAMES

There, I said it so you don’t have to. Now we can use the comments section to talk about our favorite types of cookies!

You guys really seemed to like that Fantastic Contraption game, so I thought you might enjoy this one too. Personally, I haven’t tried it – way too many buttons. I only need two buttons in my games, PLAY and LAUNCH TACTICAL NUCLEAR WARHEADS.

Protect yer ship from th’ oncomin’ hordes. An’ dasn’t ye dare leave a comment without puttin’ ‘t through th’ Buccanneer Translator (ya bilge rat!)

Relieve your childhood dreams in this surrealistic art game. Now… not to split hairs, but my childhood dreams usually involved Transformers and GI Joe. Maybe they show up in the later levels?

I don’t want you to feel like you need to get a full 5 star rating in each of these levels before you move on to the next. It’s perfectly fine to just scrape by with the bare minimum. Just like you do with everything else in life. You big fat failure.

Coign of Vantage (pronounced “Heeeeyoooo”), is a very innovative little game that tests your spatial perception. Spatial perception comes in handy for things like not killing cyclists while driving, and keeping your pee in the toilet while peeing. It’s practically one of my favorite perceptions.

Hexiom – it’s just like Dungeons and Dragons, only minus the goblins, trolls, magic missiles, dungeon masters, dark caves, taverns, elves, dwarves, dice, nerds, more elves, chainmail armor, potions, orcs, half-elves, dragons, spells, super-nerds, giant lizard birds that you can fly, kinghts?, maidens, wizards, warlocks, witches, and… what I’m really trying to say is this game has hexagons in it.

Molten lava is no laughing matter. Unless you pour it down your friend’s pants – then it’s hilarious!

Well surprise surprise. You’ve gotten yourself trapped in a room again. You know – you might want to consider carrying a bit of C4 in your purse from now on.

(yeah, I said ‘purse’. You got a problem with that, lady?)

Advance Wars meets Flash meets my absence of pants.

Shift 3 is out! Now featuring Adventure Mode. Plus some groovy player packs! And a pack of Lime Jello! Plus a 3-way sprocket wrench! And a hooker!

It’s almost not fair for me to put up 3D avoider games, since this is the birthplace of the shining light in all our lives known as Vector Runner – however – I do like the style of this one. The house music soundtrack actually inspired me to crack and shake my very last glowstick. Unfortunately that old hit of ecstasy I had doesn’t seem to be work… wait… I… want to make love to my lamp.

Storm the House 3… errr.. *cough* excuse me, Stickman Madness 3 is finally out!

Finally, a game that I excel at thanks to my rocket sciencestry background. The point is to hurl all the creatures into the chasm, right?

I’ll be honest, I don’t really like this latest version of 10 Gnomes as much as I did the previous one (10 Gnomes Part V: The Naked Body of Megan Fox). But it’s still way better than 10 Gnomes Part II: Inside the Trousers of Al Roker. Some things were just never meant to be seen with human eyes.

No matter how cute you try and draw a cartoon hedgehog, it will never, ever, ever ever ever, look as cute as a real life hedgehog. I think it’s one of the laws of physics.

In today’s adventure you’re a lowly fly, flying your way through a big bad machine. And if you see any dog poop on the way – what the heck, take a few bites. Let’s see what all that fuss is about.

I’ve been trying to tell you kids for years now that cursors are pretty much useless. Back in the days of THE DOS OPERATING SYSTEM, we didn’t need cursors. When we wanted to open up the internet we would just… uh… hmmm… what the hell did we do?

Yeah, I know it’s old, buy hey – so is your mom!

I know I said I was done with tower defense games, but I swear this isn’t one. I have play tested it thoroughly, and I can guarantee that there is not a single tower in the game, nor do you do any sort of defending. It’s actually more of a OH THE WEB OF LIES PLEASE FOGIVE ME

Phew! Check this game out. I haven’t seen that many polar bears since the Furry Convention back in Schaumburg last year. Not that I was there or anything. I just heard about it from some friends who were there. Friends who aren’t Furries. Friends of friends, actually. I’m completely hairless truth be told.

Missile Command + magnetic fields + eye of newt + 2 tbsp salt = M.I.R.C!

So long as there is breath in my lungs and movement in my fingers, I will never be able to resist the siren song of the colored block game.

My favorite part of the game is the way he lies there shivering at the bottom of the stairs. Poor little fella… Somebody give that stickman a cuddle!

The time has come again my friends. It’s time to whoop some stickman ass. These dudes went and shot down the Chickencopter! Nobody shoots down the Chickencopter and gets away with it.

Ignite People on Fire is the eagerly anticipated sequel to last year’s hit game, Light People on Fire. This version features faster paced gameplay, better special effects, and chubbies. Burn fatty, burn.

This one’s a bit like Unreal Tournament, only without that overrated third dimension. And without limbs either. Those are overrated too.