I know you guys were looking forward to the latest Hannah Montana Kissing Cousins game, but you’re going to have to settle for this new DYOG exclusive instead. If you want a mental picture of this beast, imagine Vector Runner mixed with Dolphin Olympics, but with more vectors and an extra serving of dolphin sexual assault.

An interactive website user interface that doesn’t require using mouse clicks. Works better than you might think…

I have been bamboozled many times in my day, and I’ve learned some lessons I’d like to share with you:
1) your financial adviser should never be someone called Martin McSleeze.
2) there is no such charity as “The Breast Implants for Self-Conscious Female Chimpanzees Foundation”

Sorry guys, Angry Husky couldn’t make it into the post today. He said he had to go to the Mexican Cantina down the street that was just closed by the health inspectors. He wants to eat all the old burritos out of their trash… I’m not sure why, he was mumbling something about shipping my booze into oblivion?

On my list of favorite activities “hack slash crawl” is a close second to “kneel bark paddle”.

Now you can fool your friends in to thinking you’re a skilled hacker just like the terrible actors on NCIS or CSI. Just press Hack! and start typing like a retarded actress.

Hocus pocus you’re an even better musician.

Abracadabra you’re a musician.

An example of the direction Sega should be, but isn’t, taking 3D Sonic games in.

While it isn’t a game in the sense that there are no scores, and no goal, this is still a fun little time waster. Draw lines to create the sledding hill you always dreamed of as a kid, and then watch your pixel-comprised alter ego plunge down with wild abandon. I just wish there was an eraser tool.

Hell of Sand is yet another game with no point other than to waste time. It is also an oddly titled game. I would have called it Joy of Relaxing Sand. Make sure you experiment with all of the options at the bottom.

Finally, a game perfectly suited for the youth of today. Although Oakland kids might have an unfair advantage.

Every once and a while a game comes along that really pushes the limits of… my html layouts. I’m serious, this thing is frickin’ wide.

That will be immediately before it shreds your legs.

I’m pretty sure Dug the dog from Pixar’s new movie Up is exactly what a talking dog would really be like.

Music Catch – so relaxing it’s guaranteed to make you forget to breathe, or at the very least poop your pants. Here’s hoping for the latter.

For those interested, the music in the game is by Isaac Shepard.

From the creators of Charlie the Unicorn and Detective Mittens, comes a really sadistic ferret.

If I built a castle and it looked even half as silly as some of these, I would construct a trebuchet using the bones of my wife, the tendons from my children, and the hide of my dog. I would launch my own body at the castle over and over until it was completely destroyed and any trace of the shame it brought to me was erased from existence.

From the same minds that brought us the hilarious Charlie the Unicorn comes Detective Mittens, the crime solving cat. Meow meow meow meow meow.

Most of you are probably familiar with the 5 stages a giraffe goes through when he gets stuck in quicksand, but if you aren’t then here they are. Tomorrow’s lesson: the five stages of nerdly-arousal I go through when I watch Battlestar Galactica.

Who do you think this little rascal is chasing down in his dream? I bet it’s a dandelion field full of fluffy bunnies. But I’ll tell you why he should really be running… because I’m after him, and when I catch him I’m going to zurbert that pink little belly of his. It’s all part of my tough love program.

You might think that because this game is called ‘Red’ that it has something to do with Communism. And you would be absolutely right. I base that statement on nothing other than extreme paranoia and what some have called a ‘wild, dangerous’ imagination. Use your breast-shaped turret to blast those commie rocks back into the potato fields of Mother Russia. Freedom and Democracy are counting on you!

Well here I was thinking this was a Halloween game, but turns out those aren’t piles of zombies – they’re piles of clones. I suck. Halloween is ruined.

If you played the prequel to this game, 3 Hours in an Outhouse Tank, you may be hesitant to give this one a try. Understandable, but I can assure you that 3 Minutes on the Beach is a much more relaxing and enjoyable experience. Unless you’re into that outhouse stuff, pervert.

Boom Chicka Boom. Chicka Chicka Boom Boom.

Musicovery is a webradio application that lets you interactively explore music using many filters such as mood, genre, date, and energy level. If you like discovering new stuff, try unchecking the “Hit” box and check “Discovery”.

You thought I was kidding about Fish Week didn’t you? Honestly I had my doubts as well, but I tell you – it doesn’t matter how crazy your dream is, with a little elbow grease and some help from your friends, anything is possible. Especially if one of your friends is the baby Jesus.

This is one of those games that the more I play, the worse I get. And that makes me want to play it more, which makes me suck at it even harder. It’s a vicious cycle, and it will end with me naked, crying, and possibly in the wrong apartment. 66.13 was my best, but that was many games ago…

Although this game is fantastically cool, I cannot help but think of how much cooler it would be if these talented game developers had made it about a pirate and not a ninja. Instead of lasers there would be cannonballs, and instead of all this silly jumping there would be swashbuckling. And there would also be ale, and a parrot, and eyepatches. I think I’ve made my point.