Although every fiber of my being rejects the concept of defending cabbage, those rabbits are freaky looking enough that I can still make this work. All thanks to my belief that anything ugly should be destroyed.

This game is quite the bang for the buck. As well as being a relaxing way to spend a Tuesday afternoon, you can also collect the blood that sprays out of your ears when the music starts, and keep it in your fridge if you ever need a transfusion.

To get an idea of what playing this game is like on a laptop touchpad, copy the following simple steps:

1) If you are right-handed, place the mouse in your left hand (or vise versa).
2) Wrap the mouse cord around your neck and leap out the nearest window.

Only a true master of counting can defeat this game. Someone whose obsession with counting is almost… perverse. Someone like this guy.

Finally, a geography game that targets the entire world. Now all of you showoffs can prove how worldly you really are (with a Rankosaurus screenshot of course). I would post my own score, but honestly I can’t find my own apartment most nights. Thank goodness for bus shelters.

The Scales of Justice need balancing. Unfortunately this game has nothing to do with that. But hey, funky music! Boop boop boop boop boop beep boo-dee-dooo…

Ever since discovering the 3D greatness that is Vector Runner, I realize you must regard any game with the term 3D in it’s title with great skepticism. However I can assure you that this game does involve a well rendered three dimensional cube, and the last version was pretty cool so you should at least give it a chance.

Can you solve the mysterious puzzle of Heady Steinberg? There’s a prize if you can! (The prize is hugs and cuddles.)

Don’t get me wrong, I love the Zen-ness of this game as it is, but throw in some swimming zombies and strap an assault weapon to the dolphin’s head and I think we would have Game of the Year.

There’s been so much shooting and violence here lately that I thought it might be nice to play a game that’s just all about a little red ball, and drawing with a fat marker, and relaxing clunking sounds, and really really really awful music. Throw in a pork burrito and I’m pretty much in heaven.

Oh sure, it might look like a Rubik’s Cube rip-off at first glance, but this game has nothing to do with a Rubik’s Cube… except for the colors… and the cube. In any event, I made it to level 16 of this surprisingly engaging game.

Hexiom – it’s just like Dungeons and Dragons, only minus the goblins, trolls, magic missiles, dungeon masters, dark caves, taverns, elves, dwarves, dice, nerds, more elves, chainmail armor, potions, orcs, half-elves, dragons, spells, super-nerds, giant lizard birds that you can fly, kinghts?, maidens, wizards, warlocks, witches, and… what I’m really trying to say is this game has hexagons in it.

Doesn’t the existence of this game contradict the very existence of it’s predecessor? I’m not sure the space-time continuum can handle these shenanigans. It’s like it just went back in time and killed it’s own mother for god’s sake.

And so The Great Fish Week of 2008 comes to a close. Truthfully, I’m a little sad. We had some good times with those slimey little guys, but all good things must come to an end. Anyways, I gotta get this trout out of my pants now.

(Use your prettiest fishiest picture for the highscores!)

You thought I was kidding about Fish Week didn’t you? Honestly I had my doubts as well, but I tell you – it doesn’t matter how crazy your dream is, with a little elbow grease and some help from your friends, anything is possible. Especially if one of your friends is the baby Jesus.

In the game of Multiball Madness, I can guarantee you will experience two things. The first is balls. Multiple balls. The second is madness. Pure, unadulterated madness.

Sit back, relax, and enjoy the soothing stylings of Music Catch. Enjoy it for hours with a warm cup of herbal tea and feel all your tensions slowly melt awa.. OH GOD THE BABY HAS CRAWLED OFF THE BALCONY

Since what I wrote for the last Sling Jumper post confused so many people, this is actually the perfect opportunity for me to try and clarify. 1) Some folks call it a slingblade, Karl calls it a kaiserblade. 2) Karl likes french fried pertaters.

Consider yourself schooled.

You might think that being a sushi chef would be pretty easy, you know, because you don’t even have to cook anything. But, as usual, you would be TOTALLY WRONG.

Animals discovering reflections for the first time are sooo cute. Well, except when birds smash in to your windows.

Gregory Pike, of Santa Barbara, California, likes to play God. He has constructed a walking animal pyramid out of creatures that cartoons have shown us to be mortal enemies.

Touch all the black and white shapes before they reach the bottom of the screen. But don’t touch any of the colored ones, or this cute little puppy gets it.*

* it = big kiss on the forehead

This is an interesting little game, but you should turn off the sound before playing. There’s some sort of subliminal message in the music… at first I thought they were saying “killers”, but now I’m pretty sure it’s “crullers”. I don’t know about you, but pastries terrify me.

You see? You should have actually paid attention in math class instead of just passing notes and snapping girl’s bras. Now aliens are going to destroy the world and it’s pretty much all your fault.

The story is that people enjoy playing Guitar Hero because it makes them feel like they can actually play the guitar. So does that mean that people enjoy playing this game because it makes them feel like their parents actually love them enough to buy them Guitar Hero?

Swim away fugu fish, swim away, or you might get pulled in to the vortex of Steve’s negativity and not enjoy this new Charlie the Unicorn adventure.

I implore you, EAT THE COOKIES FASTER.

I can neither confirm nor deny that this is the world’s hardest game, simply because I cannot get past the first level.

Can there be a better way to put an engineering education to use than to develop a game simulating the fluid dynamics of mucus? Well if there is, I don’t want to know about it.