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Vector Runner Remix

Merry Christmas Fruitcakes! As my present to you here’s a set of achievements and a leaderboard for our new html5 game Vector Runner Remix. It might not be the greatest present, but it sure beats what I got from my parents: 12-pack of tube socks and a nice big portion of when-I-was-your-age lectures.

German Workplace Safety Video
categories: Funny, Videos

Meet Klaus. He drives a forklift… badly.

Vector Stunt

I know you guys were looking forward to the latest Hannah Montana Kissing Cousins game, but you’re going to have to settle for this new DYOG exclusive instead. If you want a mental picture of this beast, imagine Vector Runner mixed with Dolphin Olympics, but with more vectors and an extra serving of dolphin sexual assault.

Don’t Tease My Dog
categories: Cute, Funny, Videos

Just give him some damn maple bacon!

It’s the final countdown… for my ears.

In a Battle of the Bands between these guys and Complete, who would win?

Trick question – we all lose.

More Interspecies Animal Friends

Sure, if a dog sneaks into an orangutan sanctuary people use terms like “heart-warming” and “touching”, but when I break into the orangutan sanctuary all I hear is “not you again”, “where are your pants?”, and of course the familiar sound of a twelve gauge being cocked.

Vector Conflict: The Siege

I know you guys think I spend all my time oil wrestling supermodels and saving forest animals from the California wildfires, but honestly that’s only about 95% of my day. The other 5% I spend making terrific games like this one. It’s sort of a retro post-apocalyptic shooter with – UH OH GISELE HAS ME IN AN ARMBAR BRB

DigYourOwnGrave.com on CNN
categories: Crazy, Videos

There’s a what going on in Ira… wah?

Cheeseburger in a Can – Revealed!

A little over one year ago, we broke the story on a bizarre feat of German engineering – Cheeseburger in a Can. After much debate over the actual appearance and palitability as described in the catalog, our loyal European reader Nika offered to hunt down the elusive hiker’s meal and answer all of our burning questions. These are her discoveries.

What am I doing?
categories: Funny, Videos

What would it really be like if toys came to life? Not pleasant.

(NSFW because of swearing)

Parasitic Wasp Larvae
categories: Crazy, Videos

Damn nature, you scary!

Sneak Peek: Xaat Disi
categories: Games

Teale Fristoe, the man and the magic behind Arachnophilia, is hard at work on a new game called Xaat Disi: The Salmon Run Game. Today we’re offering you a special 2 level sneak peek. You may see a short survey after you play – filling it out will help Teale make the game better, and help me deal with these painful foot bunions.

Superstar Combo

So the other day this pretty influential guy was talking to me, and he was like, “Admin, you are so super cool the way you make games and stuff”. And I was like, “Thanks God, you’re pretty cool yourself, the way you created the universe and stuff. Oh, except for the part where you made testicles on the outside.” Seriously, what’s up with that?

10 Craziest Animal Mating Behaviors
categories: Crazy, Geeky

I recommend reading the penguin one last. Most of the others are so bizarre and grossly disturbing that you’ll need the cute little penguin story to make you feel like living again. And remind me never to get reincarnated as an Anglerfish. Mercy me…

Vector Runner

That’s right folks. It’s time for another Dig Your Own Grave exclusive game. I know! It’s totally crazy. We’re pooping these things out like we just ate them for breakfast. This game features some old-skool 3D vector graphics, and a pace so fast that we can actually 100% guarantee you’ll have a stroke. Enjoy!
UPDATE: Now available – Vector Runner iPhone!

Ladybug Wings
categories: Geeky, Videos

And here I was thinking that the shells were the wings. Thank you Internet.

What’s That Bug? Insect Identification
categories: Geeky, Pics

Don’t let the beautiful dragonfly fool you – most of the bugs on this site cause me to become very concerned that one of them might be crawling up my leg.

Feed the Head
categories: Games

Can you solve the mysterious puzzle of Heady Steinberg? There’s a prize if you can! (The prize is hugs and cuddles.)

Oh, the Huge Manatee!

Today I am pleased to announce the launch of our very first Dig Your Own Grave exclusive game. And let me tell you, I couldn’t be more excited. The game features some of my most favorite things in the world, including guns, giant explosions, advanced force-field technology, and of course, shooting endangered manatees.

Arachnophilia: The Spider Web Game

Tired of boring, predictable games? Has the same-old-same-old got you down? Well rejoice, for the next Dig Your Own Grave exclusive has arrived! I am so here for you fruitcakes. I am your pusher. I am your fat sweaty sugar daddy. I am the cushion for your pushin. I… might have crossed the line with that last one.

The Billy Letters
categories: Crazy, Funny

During the 1990s, Bill Geerhart wrote letters – posing as a 10-year-old boy named Billy – to serial killers and politicians alike, asking for their advice on whether he should drop out of school, and what type of McDonald’s food they like. The responses range from the helpful, to the bizarre.

‘Jerk off’ Gesture: The Wrong Way
categories: Funny, Videos

If you want to get fired from your job or be forced to attend a full day of sexual sensitivity training, then I recommend you try this at work. If you want to get arrested, then I recommend you try this in the park. (Somewhat NSFW.)

BLOOD! BLUDDDDDAH!
categories: Funny, Videos

This little boy is really concerned with the well-being of his baby brother. I used to throw things at mine.

Bad Spanish Love Song

It can be hard to win the heart of that beautiful young Mexican woman during your day trip to Tijuana, when you’ve only had one semester of Spanish class.

Know Your World
categories: Games

Finally, a geography game that targets the entire world. Now all of you showoffs can prove how worldly you really are (with a Rankosaurus screenshot of course). I would post my own score, but honestly I can’t find my own apartment most nights. Thank goodness for bus shelters.

Chasing Wabbits
categories: Cute, Funny, Videos

Who do you think this little rascal is chasing down in his dream? I bet it’s a dandelion field full of fluffy bunnies. But I’ll tell you why he should really be running… because I’m after him, and when I catch him I’m going to zurbert that pink little belly of his. It’s all part of my tough love program.

These Animals Are Better Than You
categories: Funny, Videos

Oh dear. Sorry guys. Now not only do you have to stress over the fact that I, webmaster extraordinaire, p0wn you in all of our online games, but now there’s all these animals that are better than you too!

The Silence of the Beans
categories: Funny, Games

You still wake up sometimes, don’t you? Wake up in the dark and hear the screaming of the beans?

PS: Who is your favorite bean?

The 8 Queens of Death
categories: Games

Oh boy, we’re starting the week off with a bang. This puzzle is a real thinker. It involves chess, mathematics, and snooty female royalty. I know my education definitely helped out! (I have a Bachelors in computer science and a PhD in male super modeling).

Carl Sagan: Edited for Rednecks
categories: Funny, Videos

Although not well known, Jesusasaurus Rex was by far the most feared of the dinosaurs, possessing the ability to rise from the grave and bore other dinosaurs to death with speeches about kindness.

Sexually Suggestive Doodles
categories: Funny, Videos

This makes me wonder how many penises have been hidden in all the cartoons I’ve watched over the years.