Unfortunately for Ameriquest, they followed this motto too closely and now they’re out of business. They even gave a mortgage to that strange homeless man that defecates on the sidewalk by my office. Well, I guess he’s not homeless anymore. His house is actually nicer than mine. Still does that sidewalk pooping though.

During the 1990s, Bill Geerhart wrote letters - posing as a 10-year-old boy named Billy - to serial killers and politicians alike, asking for their advice on whether he should drop out of school, and what type of McDonald’s food they like. The responses range from the helpful, to the bizarre.