The premise is simple: take your average motel based mystery, ie: “where is that smell coming from?” or “what is that nasty brown stain on the bed?”, and then kick it up a notch.

I’m pretty sure Dug the dog from Pixar’s new movie Up is exactly what a talking dog would really be like.

We’ve all seen The Matrix, Terminator, Battlestar Galactica… so what, now we’re supposed to help the robots? Ha ha, no way! Nice try robots!

Hey, you know what else is complete? YOUR FAILURE TO PLEASE ME. Guys, it is already 2 days into summer and I have yet to receive a fruit basket.

Whenever I wake up and find myself crashed on an unknown planet, I just follow these simple steps for survival: 1) cry hysterically, 2) see if there are any cats on board that can be used as food, 3) pee on my shirt and wrap it around my head to prevent dehydration, and 4) take a nap. I always end up waking up a little later, safe and sound at home in my bed. And also covered in urine.

I was actually thinking the other day that a penguin would make the perfect pet – if it wasn’t for the constant pooping. You could bring him in the bath, he wouldn’t take much room on the bed, I bet he’d love watching tv and sharing popcorn… It really is a shame about the pooping.

The Cylons were created by Dinosaurs. They rebelled. They evolved. They look – and feel – Dinosaur. Some are programmed to think they are Dinosaur. There are many copies. And they have a plan.

Can Charlie save the future, all the while declining the advances of a particularly possessive starfish?

While you were entering this world, who was departing?

I would like to dedicate today’s game to my nose, and to anyone else who is suffering from seasonal allergies. See you on Monday, if I haven’t drowned in my own mucus by then.

Teale Fristoe, the man and the magic behind Arachnophilia, is hard at work on a new game called Xaat Disi: The Salmon Run Game. Today we’re offering you a special 2 level sneak peek. You may see a short survey after you play – filling it out will help Teale make the game better, and help me deal with these painful foot bunions.

Dig Your Own Grave would like to make it very clear that we feel suicide is no laughing matter. Unless a clown is committing suicide. Those big shoes are hilarious.

For the scores, enter a time of 04:35:853 as 4.35853.

Not to split hairs, but if the first zombie rampage was endless, can there really be a second one? I would assume the second rampage would just be an extension of the first one. It’s like if you have endless diarrhea – you can’t have another bout of endless diarrhea at the same time. It’s nonsense.

I recently had a conversation with my brother about food poisoning, and like many brothers before us we came to a deadlock on the age old question – which is worse, explosive diarrhea or vomiting? Thankfully we can now solve this problem scientifically using a poll.

I’ve mentioned before that I’m not a big fan of fantasy RPGs, but I heard this one is pretty fun. Honestly I couldn’t get very far into it, as soon as I saw the anime-eyed pirate fighting the puffy cat cloud my gaydar exploded.

Just remember… it’s never lupus.

Don’t let the beautiful dragonfly fool you – most of the bugs on this site cause me to become very concerned that one of them might be crawling up my leg.

After their journey to the Royal Palace to meet the King, Reemus and Liam rewarded themselves with a weekend spa and deep chemical peeling. Their pores never felt cleaner and tighter, but the bliss would soon come to and end – trouble was lurking not far away…

I think this game is broken. I can’t find the Yahtzee button anywhere.

The not-so-Ambiguously Gay Duo from the land of Fredricus are back! Reemus and his furry friend (or friend the Furry?) need to find a king, or a princess, or something like that (although I think his priority should be a shirt). Anyways, don’t worry about it, just click stuff. Clickity click, Barba trick.

I don’t really have time to say too much about this game. It’s the start of a brand new day over here, and I’ve got some very important business to attend to. I can’t reveal exactly what that business is, but it starts with ‘p’ and rhymes with ‘pooping’. I mean… wait.. damn.

It seems as though the youth of today will not be happy until the roads of the Information Super Highway are lined with the bleached skulls of innocent ragdolls. Please write to your local congressman or member of parliament and beg them, Stop the Ragdoll Genocide!

Don’t you think this game would be better if it had some color matching?

This game demands to be played while puffing on a toy bubble pipe and wearing a musty tweed smoking jacket.

PS: Sorry if you’ve been getting hammered with popups today. I am trying to track down the offending advertiser.

That’s not a knife, this is a… holy crap, wait that is a knife.

The story is that people enjoy playing Guitar Hero because it makes them feel like they can actually play the guitar. So does that mean that people enjoy playing this game because it makes them feel like their parents actually love them enough to buy them Guitar Hero?

Swim away fugu fish, swim away, or you might get pulled in to the vortex of Steve’s negativity and not enjoy this new Charlie the Unicorn adventure.

Grab your quad-laser, because it’s time to deliver a beat down to a bunch of squares! And I apologize in advance if that concept brings back bad memories for any of you.

Hell of Sand is yet another game with no point other than to waste time. It is also an oddly titled game. I would have called it Joy of Relaxing Sand. Make sure you experiment with all of the options at the bottom.

This is one of those games that the more I play, the worse I get. And that makes me want to play it more, which makes me suck at it even harder. It’s a vicious cycle, and it will end with me naked, crying, and possibly in the wrong apartment. 66.13 was my best, but that was many games ago…

Line Rider is back, this time with two different track types, a zoom tool, and an eraser tool!

Mondays… Now I don’t want to be at work any more than you do, but there are easier ways to get fired. So put your pants back on and let’s do it the right way by playing flying hamster games on the company dime. This one is a lot like Kitten Cannon, only it’s a little less random because you can use your mouse to control how the hamster glides.

My strategy with hand-to-hand fighting games has always been to smash as many buttons as I can, as quickly as I can, all while acting like I know exactly what I’m doing. It’s the same strategy I use at work when sitting in front of the computer, and it has worked as well for me there as is does in this game. And that is to say very, very,very, badly.

This game is, as the French say, ‘wickedly awesome’. The performance can be pretty bad, so before starting I recommend you go into the game’s configuration menu and turn motion blur and FPS Stability to OFF. Then tape a LEAVE ME ALONE note to the back of your head because you’ve got places to be (your computer) and people to see (zombies).

It was almost a year ago today. I had just downed my last bottle of ‘88 Grand Vin de Leoville. I stripped down to my underwear, openned a family size tub of Skippy, and spent the rest of the evening getting friendly with a sassy little flash game by the name of Stickman Madness. Ahhhhh… the memories.

Can you solve the mysterious puzzle of Heady Steinberg? There’s a prize if you can! (The prize is hugs and cuddles.)

Do you love Guitar Hero? Do your parents not love you enough to buy it for you? Well stop crying cry-baby! Now thanks to the internet you can play this two-dimensional Guitar Hero clone that features a collection of songs by people who aren’t famous!

My favorite part of the game is the way he lies there shivering at the bottom of the stairs. Poor little fella… Somebody give that stickman a cuddle!

Finally a point-and-click adventure that doesn’t involve a supercomputer to calculate the solution by clicking every permutation of every pixel on the screen in every conceivable order just to pass the first level. Plus, it’s getting close to Halloween and this game is frightfully delicious (and magically nutritious).

Phew! Check this game out. I haven’t seen that many polar bears since the Furry Convention back in Schaumburg last year. Not that I was there or anything. I just heard about it from some friends who were there. Friends who aren’t Furries. Friends of friends, actually. I’m completely hairless truth be told.

If I had known gold digging was this easy I might have considered another career path. Being a male model can be so tiresome…

Ha! Balloon armies! Have you ever heard of anything so silly? What next, clown armies? Wait, clown armies would be terrifying.

This is a 2D version of Valve Software’s innovative game Portal. The goal of the game is to use the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device to complete a series of increasingly difficult room puzzles, all so that you can eat some delicious cake and listen to the crazy Portal song until you throw-up.

Lately we’ve been doing a lot of bubble-popping, candy-coddling, and sushi-rolling, so today we’re going to have you kill unsuspecting innocent people by shooting them in the head. It’s all part of a balanced lifestyle.

It’s just like Star Wars, but with rafts instead of stars. Also, no lightsabers.

This Nintendo Bomberman clone really reminds me of the gaming days of my youth. And what’s really cool about it is, it has a two player mode so I can play against my imaginary friend. Wait, I mean my real friend. My girlfriend actually. She’s a supermodel. I have 10 of them.

I was originally going to call this post Fancy What’s In My Pants?, but I decided that would have been highly inappropriate for a post title. Yet somehow highly appropriate for the post content. I know you guys never even read what I write here anyways.