It’s said that cats always land on their feet, but I’d say this cat landed on its head.

If you can’t bring the snow to the city, use an escalator.

If you hate your children and want to hurt them, but are worried about the inevitable jail sentence, buy them a trampoline. They will love you for getting them such a fun toy, and you can rest assured that it’s only a matter of time before they get seriously injured.

Damn, I need to get one of these for my driveway.

It’s dinner time, and the cat just wants to eat while Mr. Puppers just wants to play. Can feline wiles defeat puppy power?

All you need is a magical leather fanny-pack, and you too can do the Hamster Dance.

Footage of the latest dance taking the underground LA hip-hop scene by storm. Local DJs have dubbed the trendy new style Dropping the Geriatric.

Warning: The literal interpretation of this and any other Christmas song is known by the state of California to cause the death of Eskimo brothers.

NASA has been hard at work since the moon landing sending astronauts to Mars and building a lunar colony. Oh wait, that’s what NASA’s doing in an efficient dimension. In this dimension they send people to space to pop water balloons in zero gravity. Okay, that’s still pretty sweet.

I’ve never understood the compulsion to voluntarily hurl oneself off of tall things, like the 61-story Macau Tower in China. Maybe these people feel like they have too many clean pants.

I can only assume that in Japan when you need your apartment cleaned, the maid service sends over a man dressed as a traditional Japanese cleaning insect. He then banishes your dirt to the land of wind and ghosts, and if he does an inferior job, your wife-servant is allowed to soak his face in lye.

Pork.

Someone should tell this guy that parrots typically live to be over 100 years old. I wonder how he’s going to feel when he’s in his nineties and his pet bird is still calling him a ******* ****.

Or at least we can assume that, since he’s apparently taken the time to learn how to play Queen’s hit song Bohemian Rhapsody entirely with fart noises produced by his hands. If it’s god-given natural talent, well then, I apologize to you farts guy.

Kellie Pickler, from American Idol, appeared on the game show Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader?, and well, she wasn’t. Honestly, I’m not sure if she’s smarter than a lamp shade.

So as it turns out, god is a DJ. Or DJs are necromancers. Or this one is made of magic. I’m not really sure to be honest, but this short film has apparently won a lot of awards.

They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. I wonder what they say about pasting an Indian actor’s face over top of Keanu Reeves’ then.

It can be hard to win the heart of that beautiful young Mexican woman during your day trip to Tijuana, when you’ve only had one semester of Spanish class.

I’ve always thought that Hitler got a bad rap. Nobody ever talks about his excellent musical stylings.

See, I said ‘rap’. Get it? I made a funny.

It’s the day after Thanksgiving, and most Americans, after a day of nothing but eating and watching football, will now be the shape of this boy. They too will probably require motorized transport in order to get around. I just hope they’re better at it than this guy.