I’ll bet you didn’t know that Christopher Walken auditioned for a part in Star Wars. What about Walther Matthau? Saturday Night Live (SNL) shows us these lost Star Wars screen tests.

It’s no secret that I like to rag on the Japanese. It’s not because I’m racist, I just think they’re all totally crazy. But I wonder what the Japanese think of us? What better way to find out than by investigating the phrases they think are the most important to learn before coming to the United States of Fantastica. And our good friend Ortchel has found just the video! Uh… exercise video.

Question 34: When your car is about to skid in to the rear end of another car at low speeds, it is best to jump out of your moving car like a moron. (True/False)

The woman’s sly wink at the end suggests that Mego was aware of the double entendre, but that just makes this commercial even more surreal.

This may be a hilarious parody and all, but let’s keep in mind that the Japanese have actual gameshows that are even more batshit crazy than this one. Remember the children with meat strapped to their heads vs. the giant lizard? Really, how could you forget.

This is a pretty interesting little video of the Australian Lyrebird, the Master of Mimicry. I’m telling you, this bird is so much like me: neat freak, fantastic with the chicks, great plumage, amazing mimicking skills, fantastic with the chicks, etc. Check it out.

What better way could we celebrate our country’s independence than by getting together with our friends and blowing up 16,000 firecrackers? I know, how about sitting in your underwear in front of the computer watching a video on the Internet of other people blowing up 16,000 firecrackers and also eating peanut butter right out of the jar. Sounds like the home of the brave to me. Yeeeee-haaaaaa!

From the Olympics of Ancient Greece, to the epic ladder races of today, humans have created some truly stupid sports. Seriously though, this is pretty impressive. When I get half way up a ladder, I freeze because I imagine myself falling to my death from the incredible six foot height.

It’s time to revist the epic saga of Raindrop vs. Mike Glambin: the Worst Rap Battle Ever. Will Raindrop’s stylin’ flows be able to withstand the cutting rhymes of Mike “I don’t know what to say” Glambin? Watch and find out.

This Maury Povich guest is really afriad of penises… I mean pickles.

In what will be our last installment until he does something absolutely batshit crazy again, Carl Monday ambushes a chronic drunk driver outside a seedy restaurant bathroom. Unfortunately for Carl Monday, none of what you see here could actually be considered journalism.

This video is proof that everything can be improved with fire- tubas, fat guys…

Finely tuned atheletes. Fantasticly fabulous fakers.

Sure you’ve had a bad experience with your cable company, but you can rest easy knowing that they care just as much about you as they do about their technicians.

Reason #462 never to visit Japan.

You’ve seen the wonder of the firework carrying dog, now see the amazing sleeping man with fireworks tied to his legs!

Three years ago Matt from Connecticut quit his day job and decided to travel the world. The result is a video of him doing a cute little dance in every corner of the globe. For maximum depression, this video is best watched from your cubicle at work.

I had always wondered what it was like to have dyslexia, that is until I saw this commercial from the International Dyslexia Association at about one in the morning last weekend. Apparently it’s frustrating… and hilarious!

This video is admittedly nowhere near as good as the previous one (then again, what could be?), but damn it, I’ve spent too much time searching for it to not show it to you. I also think it serves as a warning to all of us to stay far, far away from Cleveland and it’s Tin Men.

Remember Kirk Cameron, that lovable ragamuffin from television’s Growing Pains? Well he’s back, in exceptionally religious form, and with the help of some Australian guy named Ray Comfort, he’s ready to tell you how a banana is irrefutable proof of the existence of God.