What is Dick Cheney doing in there? What is he planning? Is he going to “accidentally” mistake George Bush for some quail?

Another good reason to never leave the apartment.

WARNING: Horrors beyond your wildest imagination that will haunt your dreams after the jump. Seriously.

It turns out that being an idiot and riding on the outside of moving trains is actually an extreme sport. EXTREME!

Those crazy Japanese bug men are back, and this time they’re trying to close some patio doors. Should they fail, the bug women are waiting in the wings to blow stinky tube breath in their face.

The funniest thing ever to be associated with Jimmy Kimmel (excluding Sarah Silverman) is the Nervous Kid.

Songwriters aren’t even trying anymore are they?

I know it’s hard to remember the dialogue from your favorite Saturday morning cartoons, but all those cartoon characters of your youth were actually card carrying Republicans fighting the evils of liberalism.

It’s Christmas Eve, and you know what that means… Twisted Sister!

Argyria is a rare condition that turns a person’s skin bluish-gray. It’s caused by ingesting silver dust, which some people believe gives them magical medical powers. In reality, it turns them in to something Gargamel wants to eat.

Space, the final frontier… for cats!

It’s said that cats always land on their feet, but I’d say this cat landed on its head.

If you can’t bring the snow to the city, use an escalator.

If you hate your children and want to hurt them, but are worried about the inevitable jail sentence, buy them a trampoline. They will love you for getting them such a fun toy, and you can rest assured that it’s only a matter of time before they get seriously injured.

Damn, I need to get one of these for my driveway.

It’s dinner time, and the cat just wants to eat while Mr. Puppers just wants to play. Can feline wiles defeat puppy power?

All you need is a magical leather fanny-pack, and you too can do the Hamster Dance.

Footage of the latest dance taking the underground LA hip-hop scene by storm. Local DJs have dubbed the trendy new style Dropping the Geriatric.

Warning: The literal interpretation of this and any other Christmas song is known by the state of California to cause the death of Eskimo brothers.

NASA has been hard at work since the moon landing sending astronauts to Mars and building a lunar colony. Oh wait, that’s what NASA’s doing in an efficient dimension. In this dimension they send people to space to pop water balloons in zero gravity. Okay, that’s still pretty sweet.

I’ve never understood the compulsion to voluntarily hurl oneself off of tall things, like the 61-story Macau Tower in China. Maybe these people feel like they have too many clean pants.