So simple, yet so mesmerizing. Can you look away before your eyes melt?

This is an old one, but if you’ve never spent some sexy time with the Subservient Chicken before, you owe it to yourself to drop your pants and tell this hot naughty chicken what to do. Ooooo, someone’s been a bad chicken.

If you thought those neon license plate lights or spinning rims were silly, then my friends you are in for a world of hurt. For a mere $900 and up you can now equip your car headlights with fully functional LCD screens. So senseless it might just be brilliant. Or maybe just super-senseless.

If you’re interested in the current state of cancer treatment and you only have five minutes of free time today, this article is for you!

Here’s a sobering thought: “If everyone stopped smoking, cancer deaths could be cut by one-third…”

The perfect gift for your man. Actually no, the perfect gift for you. Well not really. The perfect gift to give to yourself as a gift for your man. Does that make sense? Look, just take off your clothes.

Will the Pusher robot be able to save Grandma from the terrible secret of space? This is bar none the best ICQ conversation that has ever been posted on Something Awful. (It really starts to pick up around page three.)

Vote for the Worst organizes and encourages people to vote for the worst contestants every week on American Idol. Finally, your chance to strike back at the empire of evil that decided Clay Aiken should be rich and famous and not you.

There is no point to what is at the other end of this link, but I bet you $100 that you’ll spend at least 30 seconds playing with it. I’m serious. If you can honestly say you don’t play with this wiggily little guy for at least 30 seconds, send me your address and I’ll send you $100. Also send me your girlfriends address. And a pack of smokes.

Draw a sketch, submit it, and have some random person’s sketch sent back to you. It’s pretty fun! And because the submitted sketches are moderated you don’t get sketches of penises, boobs, or ‘FaCKs YOUz LoOS3R’s like you would expect from your fellow ‘humans’ on the internet.

In an attempt to make amends with all the arachnophobes who freaked out over last weeks World’s Largest Spider post, I’m giving you a link to the invaluable Spider Catcher. Although being an arachnophobe myself, I would prefer it if the handle was about 10 feet longer, and instead of ’soft bristles’ at the end there was a shotgun that fired medical textbooks soaked in Raid®.

The Simpsomaker lets you design your own Simpsons character. The guy to the left is based off of me. Not surprisingly he turned out to be the coolest, cutest, best Simpsons character there has ever been. Fancy that!

Holy hell! While searching for porn news I just uncovered information on something called the Y2K bug which is going to destroy all computers at midnight tonight! WHY ISN’T THE MEDIA REPORTING THIS???! I am taking my family and 20 jugs of Crystal Springs water from the office and heading for the mountains! Long live humanity!!

We’re going to be upgrading our server, so the site will probably be down for a while at some point during the next couple of days.

Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah or whatever else from all of us at Dig Your Own Grave!

Are you tired of wading through slow and incomprehensible menus, or “talking” with Betsy the animatronic operator, when phoning your favorite corporation? This page has a list of tricks to automatically get you in touch with a real human. Of course this real human is probably in Bangalore or Arkansas so you’ll still end up downing a bottle of Windex in a vain attempt to bring some clarity to your situation.

Was anyone thinking of getting a laserdisc player for Christmas? If you go to amazon.com and do a search for ‘laserdisc’, the result is… not what you would expect.

Happy Thanksgiving to all the yanks out there. And happy thursday to all the rest of you.

This is a cool little flash app. It could be completely useless but I think I could probably spend the rest of my life playing with it. The fellow in the picture to the left is named Beaver. If you think he looks familiar then you are wrong, because I MADE HIM.

The comments feature for the site has been enabled. Now you can say whatever you want behind the anonymous shield of daddy internet. Let us know how brilliant you are! Start fights with strangers because you’re bored and you think you’re better than them! Let loose all the hate and aggression that is bottled up inside your tiny black heart! Let the good times roll!

We are the Digital Youth Optimized for Gratification. How appropriate.