I wasn’t very good at this game at first, but then I just made believe the city was Oakland. Submit your score in millions (ie: if you score 23,567 million, enter your score as 23567).

Super Mario Bros (pronounced Sooper Mary-o Bras!) is a classic game of lost love, addiction, forbidden desire, and mushrooms. Much like my pants are a classic story of itchiness, abuse, neglect, and absence from my legs.

The Cylons were created by Dinosaurs. They rebelled. They evolved. They look – and feel – Dinosaur. Some are programmed to think they are Dinosaur. There are many copies. And they have a plan.

My concept of lab survival is nothing more than protecting my beautiful face from all the deadly acid and possible explosions. Male supermodel and facial burns do not a good sandwich make.

Civiballs… I think I caught that once in highschool from riding a tractor. Nothing a dose of antibiotics couldn’t take care of, though I still feel it a little bit on rainy days and Mondays.

Workers of all countries: Unite! The Red Star will never fall – it will soon rise to even greater heights thanks to the socialist regime of Comrade Obama. Death to fascism! Freedom to the people!

I realize that after playing a game like Arachnophilia, no other spider simulation could possibly satiate your arachnid appetites as efficiently, but that’s what you get for hanging out in a place as awesome as this. Oh, and pinkeye too.

The term “Nevermore” was made famous by Edgar Allan Poe’s 1845 poem, The Raven. For those of you that haven’t read it, I will summarize: talking raven, nevermore, lots of quothing, a little quathing, nevermore, a chick named Lenore, and nevermore.

I like the pretty colors, but the only circuits I’ll be completing today are in my Scuderia Ferrari F2007.

Ah pew pew pew? Why yes, ah pew pew pew.

I wasn’t in the Chess Club at school, so I don’t really know too much about the game. Back then I based all my extra curricular activities around where the chicks were at – namely the Math Club. Hello, woman of my dreams.

So, the game is good and all but… what exactly am I looking at here? Are those little guys the storks? I fully understand the process of human procreation – it starts with kissing and ends with a room full of babies, but I’m a little hazy on the in between details.

Just ask any dog, mouse, or upholstered sofa – there’s only one thing more pesky than zombies. That’s right: cats.

Here at Dig Your Own Grave I like things to be not just entertaining, but also educational. That’s why I sometimes provide interesting facts to go along with the posts. For instance, have you ever wondered what would happen if a pinball machine and a raw fish got together and made sweet sweet love?

I’ve always felt there’s no better way to start off the weekend than by getting beaten in a game involving a paddle. And in other news, I think I just got fired. No, wait – I’m the only one that works here. We’re all good.

I just don’t look at escape the room games the same way anymore. They all seem much too… heterosexual. Let’s just say that I’ve got a fever, and the only prescription is more unicorn.

This game reminds me of the hours days okay fine, weeks I flushed down the pooper playing Civ3 and Dice Wars. The desire for revenge I feel when territory is stolen from me immediately overrides all natural instincts to eat, bathe, blink, and feed the goldfish. Forgive me Bubbles and Lexus! FORGIVE ME!

When I see a game entitled “BO: Secret of Steel”, I expect a two things: body odor, and a deodorant strong enough for a man but made for a woman (possibly being applied to a pair of sweaty armpits by the DC comicbook hero Steel). Surprisingly, this game contains none of the above.

As a Level III certified Visual Basic elite programmer, I can tell you with 100% conviction that playing this game is exactly like computer hacking in real life. And as a Level III certified elite stud, I can also tell you with 100% conviction that kissing a supermodel feels exactly like kissing a pillow.

Weekend’s here folks! I’d love to say something about this game, but I gotta get on the horn and have a KFC Variety Big Box Meal delivered – for breakfast. Gonna start this weekend off right.