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Okay, I admit: the choice of the last two games was inspired by a recent movie marathon that I named The Knight Night. I’m worried about what I’ll post after my 80s teen movie marathon planned for this week- keep your fingers crossed I’m able to find a Molly Ringwald dress up game or a Footloose themed zombie tower defense.
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Coincidentally (or not?), Grand Rapid’s famous male dancer Dirk Valentine was famous for a move known as “The Lance”. I would tell you what it involved, but as I already mentioned I don’t know anything about this stuff. You perverts.
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I know you guys were looking forward to the latest Hannah Montana Kissing Cousins game, but you’re going to have to settle for this new DYOG exclusive instead. If you want a mental picture of this beast, imagine Vector Runner mixed with Dolphin Olympics, but with more vectors and an extra serving of dolphin sexual assault.
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If you live anywhere near Grand Rapids MI, frequently visit local male “dancing” clubs, and think the name Dirk Valentine sounds oddly familiar, then you my friend must be some sort of low-life pervert. Because I know nothing about such things.
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This is exactly what my stomach looks like on an ultrasound after one of my Friday night gummy bear binges.
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A little warning for you travelers out there… during a recent visit to England I saw a flyer for discount scuba lessons and thought I would try it out. Now I’m not going to get into all the details of this scam, but for 20£ I spent an hour sitting in a kiddie pool with this guy. And if it needs to be said, no, I still do not know how to scuba dive.
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Not a lot of people know this, but when I was the VP of Operations at Vandelay Industries I saved the company from hiring a terrible latex salesmen. His name was George Costanza.
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Due to the lack of feedback on the games lately, I was considering trying something new to attract a more diverse audience. I have a whole folder filled with games like Hollywood Nails! and Miley Cyrus Dress Up! Any objections?
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I keep telling my friend Axel that metal is dead, but he continues to write songs about civil wars and precipitation in November.
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The only reverting I’ll be doing today is reverting my brain back into a state of deep REM sleep as soon as I finish typing this.
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OMGZ! 2 games in one day. This can only mean one of two things: a) it’s the end-of-the-summer-holidays long weekend, or b) it’s the end-of-the-world.
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In one of my past lives I was ruler of a small kingdom in Eastern Europe. I was a benevolent and generous ruler, so when the peasants gathered around my castle with torches and pitchforks yelling Feed Us I just wanted to comply. Unfortunately for all involved, Feed Us sounds an awful lot like one of the stages of prenatal development.
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Hopefully this is nothing like the ‘Battle Beavers’ show I saw at the Nagy Leszbikus club in Budapest a few years ago. That performance was definitely not safe for work, and possibly not even safe for viewing alone in your apartment with the door locked.
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Had I known that airport authorities consider tapeworm possession a good reason to put an infestation threat stamp in my passport, I never would have taken Jonathan on a roadtrip across Europe with me.
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