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Games

Jacko In Hell
categories: Games

With this title I was kinda expecting a game about Michael Jackson chasing devil boys and offering them Jesus Juice while flying over sulfur lakes and grabbing his crotch for extra points.

Pumpkin Master
categories: Games

Although I don’t know anything about being a Pumpkin Master, I do know a thing or two about being master of my domain as well as being an elite master debater. Those two things might seem like a paradox, but when it comes to my private parts all the laws of the universe effectively break down.

Plumet 2

WEEEEEEEEEE! I haven’t had this much fun since I went to that dance party with my pet alpaca and baby goat.

Concerned Joe
categories: Games

This game brings back some very uncomfortable memories of running around a shopping mall trying to find a bathroom. I’m not saying I would have died if I stopped moving, but as far as I’m concerned a full bladder meltdown outside an Abercrombie & Fitch is as good as death.

Kit And The Octopod
categories: Games

Seeing this kid walk around with an octopus on his head reminds me of Sunday evenings at my parent’s house when I was little. I could go ahead and elaborate on that, but I’m afraid it would ruin my reputation of a manly man who never cries and eats only what he wrestles away from grizzly bears.

Lab Of The Dead
categories: Games

Admin: Starting in 2011, game developers are (as it seems) contractually obligated to include zombies in Halloween games , so I’m just gonna take all my shoes and hide them in a mobile neutering clinic for the time being.

Angry Husky: That is harsh dude.

Hanger 2

I like my supermodel girlfriends like I like my coat hangers: so thin they buckle under a heavy sweater, and light enough that my Pygmy servant Mbuti can throw them out if they get too belligerent.

The First Hero
categories: Games

I don’t know if this game is any good, but as a demigod myself I am obligated to post any game that promotes Greek mythology.

Game About Game Literacy
categories: Games

Finally our prayers have been answered! A game that combines gaming and literacy in a way that has no apparent relation to literacy. Plus a melty purple guy on a little dinosaur thing!

Fisher-Diver
categories: Games

Coincidentally, a night out on the town for me starts off by fishing for compliments and ends with diving in the murky waters of self loathing with an overweight woman who has a misplelled chinese proverb tattooed on her back.

Rebuild 2
categories: Games

Angry Husky: The only rebuilding I’ll be doing today is to the backside of my jeggings. I blew them out when I dealt with Admin’s shoe for posting yet another zombie game. What? The image of a husky in jeggings disturbs you greatly? Tough noogies.

One And One Story
categories: Games

It’s another symbolic platformer where you have to jump over spikes and push heavy things around to get to your loved one. Contemporary love sounds pretty hard, in my time it was enough to wear a Grateful Dead belly shirt and visit a local WalMart at 3.30 a.m.

Kingdom Rush
categories: Games

Due to certain distractions yesterday (supermodels – more than I can count), the game posted was not entirely… legit. So for those of you left disappointed by this error, please enjoy it over at Armor Games today. And now if you’ll excuse me, these ladies aren’t going to tattoo my name on their behinds by themselves.

Cactus McCoy 2
categories: Games

If you’re a fan of pricks, leather chaps, and large yellow sensual lips – rejoice! The Cactus McCoy sequel is finally here. I also think it means you’re some kind of super-freak and you should probably be ashamed of yourself (call me).