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Latest Games Posts
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When in doubt, pick the… nevermind.
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You take a block from the bottom, and you put it on top, you… take a.. somethin and a somethin.. and.. uh… Jenga, Jenga, J-J-J-Jenga.
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I’d like to order a fat slice of love. Double cheese and extra-saucy please.
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We’ve all seen The Matrix, Terminator, Battlestar Galactica… so what, now we’re supposed to help the robots? Ha ha, no way! Nice try robots!
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In this exciting team-based tactical shooter, you play as Ervil LeBaron, fighting your way through hordes of vicious enemies accompanied by your 16 AI-controlled wives. Collect powerups and gold to upgrade… oh wait, Polygonal Fury. Sorry, wrong game.
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Well look at that… two assassin games in a row. Coincidence? Or do you think someone is paying me $1 for every time I say the word ass in a post? Because so far this week I’d already be at ass – I mean eleven. Actually twelve including that last ass. Thirteen!
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You know what they say about assassins – they make an ass out of ass and in… uh, in.. fact yes. Hello. Where am I?
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For some reason my towers always end up looking the same.
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The premise is simple: take your average motel based mystery, ie: “where is that smell coming from?” or “what is that nasty brown stain on the bed?”, and then kick it up a notch.
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I often dream I am falling, and wake up having fallen from the bed. Psychology tells me this is due to deep seated insecurities, but I say it’s because I sleep on a coffee table covered in baby oil.
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Admin: Hello. I’m looking for the best game evar. I missed you my OutZone. I love you. You complete me. And I just…
OutZone: Shut up Admin. Just shut up. You had me at hello.
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Bonus points for anyone who knows what I named the achievements after – without using a search engine. And without sacrificing their heterosexuality, which might be impossible. (That was a clue).
PS: You submit your score in the stats menu.
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I like games where you can combine things to make limitless combinations of other things. Actually I just like the idea of combining things in general. For instance, combining pets to make the perfect pet – like the head of a puppy, the body of a penguin, the tail of a piglet, and the bum of a robot that doesn’t poop. Perfection.
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I have no idea how to submit scores in this game and that giant hand looks way too much like a spider for me to want to stick around and figure it out. You’re on your own kids! I’m off to get a burrito and a Thai massage. Okay, maybe just a burrito.
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I’ll be honest with you, I had a lot of reservations posting this game knowing that we’ll have to listen to looc ask us to touch his meebles for the next two weeks. But ultimately justice prevailed.
Meeblings = Justice
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Most men believe, though few will admit, that the true measure of a man is the amount of urine he pees out in a given trip to the bathroom. And even if you don’t agree, you have to admit it’s embarrassing when nothing comes out.
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I know you guys love the achievements, so I spent the weekend adding some to a few of the older games: Pickies, Boomstick, Ninja Glove, and I added a hard achievement to Cargo Bridge. Now… just to be clear that’s not all I did this weekend. I also watched some Friends reruns. And cried. There was lots of crying.
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Are those gems in my pockets? Gosh no, I’m just happy to see you. Very happy. Alright you got me, those are gems.
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Not since I met Shifty Eyes McGee at the 1993 Carp Fair have I had an experience so… shifty.
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