Shooting your friends really isn’t such a big deal. Especially if they’re jerks.

It’s a little known fact that before I wrote my screenplay and became a famous website Administrator, I worked as a bartender to help make ends meet. And let me tell you - I couldn’t be happier that now I have this awesome game to remind me of those horrible, horrible times.

Phun is a free, downloadable 2D physics sandbox. You can do pretty much anything in it. I was actually able to model Einstein’s Theory of Relativity and send a crudely drawn square back in time to kill it’s own parents, thereby erasing itself from existence. Either that or I pressed the undo button, I’m not sure. Video of Phun-in-action after the jump.

Only a true master of counting can defeat this game. Someone whose obsession with counting is almost… perverse. Someone like this guy.

Things start getting interesting once you’re a few levels in. That is assuming, of course, that you find a dull pain behind your eyes and a growing fury inside your heart to be “interesting”.

Grab your quad-laser, because it’s time to deliver a beat down to a bunch of squares! And I apologize in advance if that concept brings back bad memories for any of you.

This game is, without a doubt, the best simulation of what real life is like that I have ever come across. You move up, up, up… things are looking good… up a little more… aaaaaaaaaaaaand back where you started.

As if Mondays weren’t bad enough already…

Ha! Balloon armies! Have you ever heard of anything so silly? What next, clown armies? Wait, clown armies would be terrifying.

Have you ever fantasized about being the pilot of your very own giant Mech? Well now that perverse fantasy is only a click away! Although if the Mech in your fantasies had the ability to move, you might be a little disappointed.

I was recently shocked to discover that many academic establishments find this website to be Tasteless and Offensive. Well I don’t take things lying down over here, so in an effort to correct this situation, every game from here on out will be educational in nature. Today’s game helps you learn about physics. Tomorrow’s game will help you learn about tossing midgets.

They may look like cute little stuffed animals, but when I think of Pickies all I can see is a jar full of scabs with with the label pIckIeZ scotch taped to it. Don’t ask. You don’t want to know.

Woo-hoo, 16 mini-games all rolled into one. Does this mean I can take the next 16 days off?

In the future, mankind will travel the vast interstellar void of space in square ships that can only travel in four directions. It will make about as much sense as Dune.

The members of this family want but two things - to cross the river, and to beat each other into unconsciousness. One task is significantly easier than the other as you will soon find out.

You see? You should have actually paid attention in math class instead of just passing notes and snapping girl’s bras. Now aliens are going to destroy the world and it’s pretty much all your fault.

Yeeehaw! It’s time to dust off that cowboy hat and put on your sexiest pair of assless chaps. Thanks to this game, you can now live out your embarrassing wild-west gunslinger fantasy from the safety of your own home. And who knows, if you keep practicing maybe one day you’ll be as good as this guy.

Quick! Escape the kitchen before it’s too late! Lord knows you wouldn’t want to accidentally make yourself a delicious sandwich.

Remember that game Spin The Bottle we used to play as kids? The one where you’d sit in a circle and spin a bottle, and whoever it landed on would have to make out with a girl in the closet? Only your friends tricked you and instead you made out with another guy, permanently scarring you and causing lasting trust and relationship issues that haunt you to this day? Well this game is nothing like that.

Jump from skull to skull to make your way down the river. You know, just how you’d make your way down a river in real life.