Latest Games Posts

Epic Battle Fantasy 2
Epic Battle Fantasy 2

After their last epic breast – sorry, quest – our heroes struggle to rebuild their devastated world. But behind the scenes an ambitious man gathers an army of breasts and machines, rampaging across… wait, beasts and machines. Not wanting to allow these jugs – thugs – to… you know, just nevermind.

Hungry Shapes
Hungry Shapes

If real life were just like the world of the Hungry Shapes, I would be a big fat square and as red as a lobster with a sunburn. Because I loooooooove me some hamburgers.

Turn Based Battle!
Turn Based Battle!

It may take you a few tries, but finishing this one is almost as satisfying as getting the cake song at the end of Portal.

Viva Caligula
Viva Caligula

There’s an important lesson to be learned here – as a Roman emperor, if you base your reign upon cruelty, extravagance, and sexual perversity, you get awesome online games made in your honor. If you base your reign upon political and military conquest, you get a salad named after you.

Warp Shot
Warp Shot

Finally, a way to enjoy the challenges of golf without exposing yourself to harmful UV rays. And harmful human contact. And harmful pant fibers.

This is the Only Level
This is the Only Level

Traversed by a grey skinned fellow,
With tusks a whiteish-yellow,
and kisses like shots of Grape Jello.

Little Red Riding Hood
Little Red Riding Hood

Spoiler Alert: Grandma gets eaten.

Finding My Heart
Finding My Heart

Wrah wrah wrah wrah wrah.

Mena-mena-mena-mena!

Cube Colossus
Cube Colossus

Hooray! It’s the weekend. Who’s got exciting plans? I’m not doing much, just gonna catch up on True Blood episodes and pick the porcupine quills out of my lips. Hey, don’t judge – those things look just like groundhogs from far away.

Ninjufo
Ninjufo

I’ve always had trouble with the word “shuriken”. I just want to say “shrunken”, and trying to say it the right way makes my lips pucker up like I’m kissing a wet piece of liver and the sound that comes out is more like chronic stuttering than it is human speech. So I just call them throwing stars.

The Next Floor
The Next Floor

Not since Nintendo’s 1983 hit Elevator Action have I seen so much exciting elevator action in a game. And bleeding ghosts.

Multitask
Multitask

You know you’ve found a great game when it triggers a migraine.

Hexcelle
Hexcelle

I’ve been trying to figure out why this game is called Hexcelle. My best guess so far is that it was created by Sir Hextor Cellesis and that he named the game after his only son, who is also named Hextor. This is all speculation of course.

Semantic Wars
Semantic Wars

Now now everybody – let’s not get bogged down in semantics. Oh wait, that’s exactly what we’re going to do.

Super Briefcase
Super Briefcase

What kinds of things would you put in a super briefcase do you think? Not just boring old papers. I imagine it would be filled with gold bullion, East German pickles, futuristic weapons, and one of those Swiss Army Knives that has like a HUNDRED things in it.

GOBTRON
GOBTRON

I don’t know what that giant pink thing with the boogers is, but I may have pooped it out yesterday morning. If it was me, I apologize.

Red Code 2
Red Code 2

The only thing worse than a bug is a giant bug, and the only thing worse than a giant bug is a giant bug that comes out of giant egg sack.

Vending Machine Champ
Vending Machine Champ

One day they won’t be called vending machines anymore. They will be called REPLICATORS, and cruiseships will be called starships and everyone will wear tights. Everyday will be a new and exciting adventure, except for days in the holodeck. Those will be kind of boring.

Floater
Floater

By just reading the title you might assume this game is about poops – but don’t worry, that would be gross. It’s actually about a water logged corpse.

NINJA Brawl
NINJA Brawl

I wonder what an actual ninja brawl would sound like. Probably like old ladies whispering.