Latest Games Posts

The Next Floor
The Next Floor

Not since Nintendo’s 1983 hit Elevator Action have I seen so much exciting elevator action in a game. And bleeding ghosts.

Multitask
Multitask

You know you’ve found a great game when it triggers a migraine.

Hexcelle
Hexcelle

I’ve been trying to figure out why this game is called Hexcelle. My best guess so far is that it was created by Sir Hextor Cellesis and that he named the game after his only son, who is also named Hextor. This is all speculation of course.

Semantic Wars
Semantic Wars

Now now everybody – let’s not get bogged down in semantics. Oh wait, that’s exactly what we’re going to do.

Super Briefcase
Super Briefcase

What kinds of things would you put in a super briefcase do you think? Not just boring old papers. I imagine it would be filled with gold bullion, East German pickles, futuristic weapons, and one of those Swiss Army Knives that has like a HUNDRED things in it.

GOBTRON
GOBTRON

I don’t know what that giant pink thing with the boogers is, but I may have pooped it out yesterday morning. If it was me, I apologize.

Red Code 2
Red Code 2

The only thing worse than a bug is a giant bug, and the only thing worse than a giant bug is a giant bug that comes out of giant egg sack.

Vending Machine Champ
Vending Machine Champ

One day they won’t be called vending machines anymore. They will be called REPLICATORS, and cruiseships will be called starships and everyone will wear tights. Everyday will be a new and exciting adventure, except for days in the holodeck. Those will be kind of boring.

Floater
Floater

By just reading the title you might assume this game is about poops – but don’t worry, that would be gross. It’s actually about a water logged corpse.

NINJA Brawl
NINJA Brawl

I wonder what an actual ninja brawl would sound like. Probably like old ladies whispering.

Get Off My Lawn
Get Off My Lawn

And by “lawn” I mean the 3 foot radius around my computer. And by “get off” I mean just take a step back so you’re not in my personal space, but please stay and talk to me because I’m lonely. So very very lonely.

Pixel
Pixel

PPL DONT YOU JUS LV PIXELS SO MUCH DIZ MY FAV THINGS EVA!!!!

This message has been brought to you by the gems in my inbox.

Photo King
Photo King

Although I have lots of practice taking naked pictures of myself in the mirror, I was never smiling in any of them – until the phalloplasty, that is.

Cat Cat Watermellon
Cat Cat Watermellon

Sometimes when I play a game I can hear a song for it in my head right away. Like this one goes: cat, cat, cat – ticka-ticka – cat, cat cat (robotvoice)WAAAATERM-E-L-L-O-N *guitar solo*

Vorago
Vorago

What is your favorite part of point and click adventures?
a) Pointing
b) Clicking
c) Adventuring

Distracted Driving Test
Distracted Driving Test

Texting while driving? Can anyone actually do that? My hands are way too busy flipping people off and putting on eyeliner.

How to Raise a Dragon
How to Raise a Dragon

It actually takes very little to raise a dragon. Just leave it in a room with some canned ravioli, toilet paper, and a television. It will turn out fine – just like me. Now if you’ll excuse me, my Hannah Montana torrent is almost done and I need to get into my polar bear suit before I can watch.

William and Sly
William and Sly

The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy fairybug runestone thing.

Rabbit Wants Cake
Rabbit Wants Cake

Do you want to know what else the rabbit wants? Your blood.