If your nose and ears start bleeding while you’re playing this, don’t panic. It’s just your brain trying to kill itself. Silly brain.

Don’t get me wrong, I love the Zen-ness of this game as it is, but throw in some swimming zombies and strap an assault weapon to the dolphin’s head and I think we would have Game of the Year.

Welcome to the offices of Gung-Ho Ltd., a company where subordinate workers slave 14 hours a day to assemble plastic products with badly spelled labels. If this game hits a little too close to home, I apologize. If you’re still in school, well… welcome to your future!

Folks, it’s time to take your Xtreme sports pastime to the next level. Leave your parachute at home, but don’t forget a bag of Doritos and a six-pack of Monster Energy Drink. We’re going Cliff Diving. Xtreme Cliff Divingâ„¢.

We haven’t blown up anything in a while have we? And when was the last time we blew up stuff in a tank powered by Jesus? Not any time I can remember. And who’s in those enemy tanks? Who cares! Probably Marilyn Manson fans.

All you gotta do in this one is grow your tree branches through the pretty golden rings. If you don’t, your pet puppy dog will get eaten by a tree. No, no, just kidding. But if you don’t send this game to 5 of your friends within the next minute, your pet puppy dog will get eaten by a tree.

You fruitcakes asked for it, and now you’ve got it: Nanaca†Crash!!. So pause that episode of The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers and put down your Jigglypuff doll. It’s time to save the world, crazy-ass Japanese style!

I hate to disappoint you guys, but today’s game has nothing to do with defecation or flatulation. But you know, that’s what imaginations are for, right? Like right now I’m imagining that I’m sitting in a beanbag chair with no pants on. And it’s totally awesome.

I was shocked to hear that some people were a little offended by yesterday’s donkey-dung kicking game. To those that were offended I humbly offer you my apologies, and also an alternate game for you to play that has nothing to do with pooping or farting. It is called ‘Fart Fart’ and it is about farting.

People, this is a donkey that kicks poo. Why are you even reading this? Get to it!

The Japanese have no respect for Flash games. What are these little totem guys? Where is the shotgun? Shouldn’t there be zombies somewhere? I demand bad techno music!

Like me, have you always felt that Green Arrow was the lamest member of the Justice League? I know he had that hot green suit and the awesome pointy goatee, but the bow-and-arrow seemed like such a silly weapon compared to Superman’s heat vision. Well boy were we wrong! The bow-and-arrow is the best weapon ever!

Hey, I think I’ve got a better name for this game. Maybe TOO DAMN HARD Syndrome or perhaps ARE YOU KIDDING ME Syndrome. I was also thinking that it might be easier if you didn’t have to create those loops to clear away parts of the board, but instead you had some sort of explosive device, maybe like grenades or a low-yield nuclear weapon.

What do you get when you cross today’s brightest minds in software engineering with the latest advancements in graphical acceleration technology? You get a game with two geometric shapes and two colors. But it is kinda fun.

ZOMBIES COMIN’ UP THE HELL RIGHT NOW! SHOOT ‘EM IN THE HEAD! SHOOT ‘EM!! HIS AXE IS ON FIRE! HE KILLED YOUR PARENTS! SHOOT ‘EM IN THE HEAD!! JUMP GYPSY, JUMP!!

I’m not sure what is more challenging, keeping my bug going for as long as possible, or stopping myself from clicking so fast that I skip right over my score and start the game again. I’ve never yelled so much at my finger in my life; it’s like it has a mind of its own. A cheeky mind.

The Bugheads are back, and they won’t stop until they have eaten your liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti. To keep your precious organs safe within your body all you need to do is shoot all the Bugheads until your monitor is red with their blood, your eyes have dried open, and your clicking finger is swollen up like a fat Polish sausage.

What do you get when you cross the classic stylings of Asteroids with Macromedia Flash, 32 bit color, love, modern peripherals, a webmaster who only wears pants by court order, and delicious carrot cake? A frickin’ good time, that’s what.

Today we’re going to divide ourselves into two groups. Those who are destined to become brilliant scientists and cure the world’s ailments, and those who are destined to sort glass. All you have to do to find out is get one set of frogs to one side, and the other set of frogs to the other. No biggie, right?

It’s not as pretty as Storm the House, but it’s a little easier to play. And you get to blast helicopters. Would it cause you discomfort to know that the helicopters are piloted by puppies and kittens? It’s true. And they’re awfully cute. In fact I think they’re wearing bow-ties! Adorable!