Folks, get ready to do some arrow key smashin’ and swear-word cussin’, because these rude little SOBs do not want to let you through. By the way, Pushies is another great recommendation from our Forum Fruitcakes. If you’ve got a Dig Your Own Grave account you can jump right in and have your say too!

This puzzle, like the Jumping Frogs, can only be solved by super geniuses, kids under the age of 14, or people who know how to use Google. So if you’re not in any of those three categories you better not click that link or it will be the last thing you do. UPDATE: before you go insane, read the comments for the ’solution’.

If you’ve ever wondered how a computer virus attacks a network, this game is actually a 100% accurate simulation of how it is done. Although in real life the ice cannons are not quite as poweful, and the flamethrower has a slightly wider attack angle but with less range.

Luminara is the by-product of Ellipsis and the classic arcade game Asteroids getting together and making sweet, sweet, videogame love. And it’s not gross, it’s a perfectly natural way for two videogames to show that they love each other.

Ask yourself, are you ready for The MindScape? Do you have a beanbag chair? Sit in it. Do you have friends? Forget them. Alcohol? Consume it. Pants? Remove them.

Now you are ready.

Here’s another game with hypnotically soothing music. But don’t be fooled! It’s only purpose is to mask the sound of the tendons in your wrist crying out in pain.

Use the ‘SCORE’ value for highscores.

Little-known-fact: among the less common (but still highly effective) ways to commit suicide is to play the online game ‘Red Team’ for more than 20 minutes consecutively. Death is caused when the subject’s brain, through a misguided act of self preservation, attempts to eject itself from the head by way of the nose, eyes, and mouth.

Sure you guys may be great at shooting zombies and performing lethal back kicks with stickmen, but how are your bubble popping skills? Not bad you say? WRONG. THEY ARE WEAK. And you are weak. Now get in there and burst some bubbles. I demand no less than excellence from my Flash warriors.

Don’t get excited by the name you perverts. This game has nothing to do with whipping it out and everything to do with street-fightin’, ass-whoopin’, name-takin’, and bad-spellin’. Do you have what it takes to flash harder and longer than everyone else?

I don’t think we do enough educational stuff on this site. Sure we have some fun, but in what way do you exercise your mental muscle by visiting Dig Your Own Grave? WELL THAT ALL CHANGES TODAY. It’s time to figure out some wordz and your gonna need to do sum spellinz and if you don’t you’re going to die a horrible, horrible, horrible death.

Boomshine is another great suggestion from our Forums. Turn up the soothing music, click the circles, and watch them s-plode. And remember, you can never actually lose in this game, you can only quit. You’re not a quitter are you?

Do you hate balls? How about primary colors? Circles get you down? Then for the love of god don’t go anywhere near this game. It hates you as much as you hate it and it will sleep with your wife, make friends with your children, and tell your boss what you really do at work all day.

I think this game should have a second game mode where you get to play as the geek. In that version as soon as the cheater gets too close you get to shoot him in the face. Either that or start crying, which is what I used to do *cough* I mean, that’s what the geeks used to do when I cheated off them. Which I did all the time. I’m such a badass!

I almost feel like I need to apologize for this post.

There’s only one thing you need to build a house, and that one thing is your brain. Wood, nails, hammers, ladders, all that stuff is for wussies. You just need your brain and maybe some large yellow cubes. Your house will suck, and you’ll die if you live in it, but that’s still all you need!

Coincidentally, I have my very own set of real life “Indestructotanks”. I call them “my fists”. Get it? My fists. HULK ANGRY! ME SMASH!

If you were a pirate and you ran out of cannonballs for your cannon, what would you do? That’s right, you’d start firing your pirate buddies out of your cannon instead. Because you are a pirate, and you are so crazy-out-of-your-mind that it’s awesome. If you were a ninja you’d probably just cry.

If there’s one thing that bees love, its coins. And stinging other bees. And thus is the paradox of your life as a bee. Collecting coins but not getting stung by your fellow bees while you do it. And rocking hard, don’t forget you always got to rock it hard.

You young whipper snappers! You’re so spoiled by your fancy videogames these days. A real game doesn’t need more than 20 pixels on screen at any one time. And 4 colors is plenty! Any more than that and the developer is just compensating for an incredibly small penis.

Oh noes! Some bad fuzzy bears have robbed a bank and taken hostages! You control a crack team of 4 special agent Warbears sent in to save the day. When you’re done you can just tell me what to do, because so far I’ve only been able to make the one bear blow up his bear buddy. And that, unfortunately, is not part of the mission.