Games

From the creators of my pants, comes an epic journey through time, space, and dark alleys filled with monsters but not rapist monsters, and still lots of shooting and oohs and aahs, and possibly a monkey.

Fear less… easy for you to say. I watched all of the Paranormal Activity movies over the weekend and my phobia list now includes fear of videocameras (demon tractor beams, obviously), fear of wind (ghosts, obviously), and fear of socks (eyeless tube monsters, obviously).

Did I post this game because I thought it was good, or because I’ll jump on any excuse to post a link to the Michael Bolton Pirates of the Caribbean song? I’ll never tell! *hee hee*

Dwarves? Really, so that’s how it’s going to be. What’s next? Are your favourite dwarves going to cash some colourful cheques in your neighbourhood? Get your bastardized language off my website you dirty Canadians.

You know those games with misleading titles? Well this is definitely not one of them. It also features a song that will remain etched in your memory long after you’ve forgotten how to chew due to advanced Alzheimer’s and multiple strokes.

The only mystery about my IQ is where can we fit all these extra digits. Get it? Because I’m so smart. *high five*

Oh great, that lame-o Aquaman reproduced somehow. What is this one’s superpower, the ability to read the thoughts of deep sea mollusks?

You know, “this is not a minimalist penis game” line works only on someone who has never seen a male genitalia flash game before.

Since it turns out human magnets are just really filthy, would the same apply to chick magnets? Only one way to find out I guess. Watch out ladies! *throws away shower gel*

Unfortunately I can’t write anything for today’s game. The only possible play on words for ‘Astrodigger’ is so offensive it would just upset everyone. Except for my grandmother, she would be fine with it.

In case you didn’t know, urbex stands for Urban Exploration – a pretty cool pastime that I actually engage in myself from time to time. But usually only when my mom kicks me out and I need somewhere to sleep at night.

No one has to die, except the ones that don’t fit my aesthetic parameters of a utopian society. I’m looking at you, uggos.

As good as this game is, I would not recommend asking girls if they want to come over to your place and ‘help steer the Wonder Rocket into heaven’. For some reason they get really upset. I guess girls don’t like games?

Andry Husky: Join me on a journey – back to the hallway, back to the front mat, back to the shoe rack. A journey back to my roots, back… to Poopingland.