Games

Speaking of hidden objects, has anybody seen a pair of mens velcro jeggings? I have to be on stage by 8pm.

I’ve just realized there might be a slight connection between my newly developed Picklephobia, and my recent participation in a LARP event called Escape From A Gimp Dungeon.

In honor of MLK day, here is a game about solving the MLK assassination. All you have to do is imagine Martin Luther King as a super old purple female that was murdered by a monster mouse for reasons having nothing to do with the actual MLK assassination.

I know that a math game seems like a cruel and unusual punishment, but that’s only because you deserve to be punished in a cruel and unusual manner for not loving me enough. And before you ask: no amount of love is enough.

Let’s be straight for a second kids – this might be a fun game, but in reality Herpes is no laughing matter. If you want to joke around about STDs, pick one with a funnier name, like Gonorrhea. It sounds like a Japanese monster! LOL!

I’ve just about given up writing letters to the London Philharmonic requesting an audition as a soprano armpit-hand-farter. I understand they can’t accept every possible type of instrument, but is it really any more ridiculous than a tuba?

This game is just a reminder of all the hours I spent playing air hockey in a local arcade instead of attending classes. I have no regrets, as I am accomplished in my own way – I’m only 73 days away from beating the world record for the longest time with a tick attached to the body. Just one example.

All that matters is family, friends, and yadda yadda yadda, with or without whipped cream.

Wait a minute… this knight is a girl? Something’s not right with that. I was under the impression that in medieval times women could only grow up to be wives and wenches.

The last time a distress call woke me up from C-Sleep it was because my pet pug (Sir Albert of Pugshire) had gotten his head stuck in an empty peanut butter jar again. The sound isn’t so much like a siren, but more so like a piglet drinking a milkshake with a Darth Vader helmet on.

After he read my last post for this series, my therapist had me over for an emergency Rorschach test. And let me tell you guys, the results were not the breast.

Making monkeys? What a coincidence, that just happens to be in my top 3 list of things to make. The other 2 things are of course nutella crepes, and whoopie.

Well it’s the last post of 2011, so I thought I would link to the most popular game on DYOG from 2011. Any ideas what it was? (and no, it wasn’t Twilight Manicure).

I have a feeling these Creeper World games are multiplying rapidly by binary fission, and I’m concerned they’re mutating so fast that they’ll soon merge with the swine flu virus in order to form a super virus. Maybe somebody should call the CDC? I’d phone them myself but they blocked my number in 2007.