This is my monster Tony. He is a level 12 Trap Master, a level 6 No Pants Wearing Master, and a level 4 Debating Master. He’ll trap you in his traps, out-casual you with his pants-free lifestyle, and master debate you under the table any day of the week!

Better red than dead.

Hmmm… I guess I need to rethink the server password.

In today’s game, Col- wait a second… is that a “u”? Son of a… looks like a Canadian got in here. Guys, if I’ve told you once I’ve told you a thousand times, you can’t just use spray – you also have to leave poison food traps so the worker Canadians carry the food back to the Canadian Queen. Otherwise she just keeps laying eggs and they never stop coming.

Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a big television, Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players, and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance. Choose fixed- interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends.

Obechi, what a pity, you don’t understand. You take me by the heart when you take me by the hand…

Russian game meets rushin’ game.

You see what I just did there? Rushin game. Genius!

Yesterday I got a special request from someone: “plese post something vilonte tomarrow admid so i can take out my anger and confusion”. Well let it be known thet wen admid is called to acshun, admid alweys delivrs.

What do you get when you combine amorous vampires, uptight goth chicks, boys dressed as bears, general all around gayness, stormtroopers(?), and strange communist imagery? Well… you’re about to find out my friends.

I was going to post a quote from Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus, but I remembered last time I did that everyone thought I was getting married in two days.

PS: There’s a bug with highscore submission: If you’re playing more than once, refresh the page each time you play if you want your scores to submit.

If we’re going to have to endure any more physics puzzle games this year, they should at least involve some dead bodies.

There are certain things in this life that you can always count on. Everyday the sun will rise, and then later set. Your dog will always love you. And I, your loyal admin, will always seize any opportunity to link to THE MEDIEVAL RAMPAGE VIDEO.

If you think bringing a puppy or a baby to the park is a great way to meet ladies, let me tell you – nothing beats the chick magnetizing powers of a freshly bathed penguin. Except perhaps a Ferrari.

I’m assuming those annoying things with the horns eventually evolved into unicorns? Or maybe rhinos? Oh wait… no… OMG GROSS THOSE AREN’T HORNS

And so begins an epic battle for the #1 Google result for “The Tickler”. Who will win, the innocently named Flash game, or the not-so-innocently named latex contraceptive?

Oaky, yuo konw teh rlues! Cmomnets not in teh prepor froamt will be dleetd as if tehy neevr exsietd! It’s all prat of my tgouh lvoe porgarm.

I didn’t get the name at first, but that little fella does look an awful lot like something that came out of my bellybutton a couple weeks ago. It could also wall-climb, but the similarities ended there. It had no eyes, no little legs, and definitely no soul. Nothing with a soul could do what that thing did to my pet hamster Steven.

Soldier Boy off in this oh!
Watch me crank it, watch me roll
Watch me crank dat, Soldier Boy
Then Superman dat oh!

There better be a talking dog after level 12. And it better frickin’ love me even though it just met me.

I know you guys think I spend all my time oil wrestling supermodels and saving forest animals from the California wildfires, but honestly that’s only about 95% of my day. The other 5% I spend making terrific games like this one. It’s sort of a retro post-apocalyptic shooter with – UH OH GISELE HAS ME IN AN ARMBAR BRB